


please take it out on me

by kienava



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Jock Adora (She-Ra), Mutual Pining, Rivalry, Sexual Tension, Sparring, and they're better at fighting than talking, crop tops, except emotions happen, not on the smut tho, second chapter is smut, slow-ish burn on the romance, they're both dumb horny jocks, two tops trying to top each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kienava/pseuds/kienava
Summary: Catra needs to punch something. Fortunately, when Scorpia takes her to the gym, an unreasonably hot stranger in a crop top challenges Catra for the next turn on the punching bag.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Netossa/Spinnerella (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 1492
Kudos: 4392
Collections: Gays in Etheria, She_Ra





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> noelle's art of everyone in crop tops would NOT leave me alone until i wrote this
> 
> basically everyone who drew crop top art is responsible for this
> 
> >>>[playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5DAqaTx66B26aLhO0YJlfT?si=3mReJScPQXmwlVlVHPXuEw)<<<

“Come on, Wildcat!”

Despite Catra’s best efforts to stand perfectly still, she felt the heels of her gym shoes squeak against the sidewalk as Scorpia dragged her along by the wrist. Scorpia was way too excited to get on the Stairmaster, in Catra’s opinion. She should have seen this bubbling enthusiasm as the red flag that it was, but now she was stuck being “gym buds” for the next two hours. Somehow the abbreviation made the whole situation so much worse. Why the hell had she agreed to this?

Too many days in a row lounging on the couch had left her body desperate to run, jump, squat, anything - she just needed to move. She’d gotten passed over by yet another job, leaving her trapped in a shitty grocery store bagging shittier food for the shittiest people. It had taken her manager three whole days to notice that she was gone. Nice going, Todd. Skipping wasn’t something she did often - she needed money - but the past week she’d found it impossible to drag herself out of bed. By Wednesday, she couldn’t stop bouncing her leg, tapping her fingers, and grinding her teeth. Working at the grocery store was mind-numbing, but sitting at home all day was somehow worse. Catra was bored. Painfully, statically, unrelentingly bored. And so, she’d agreed to be... _gym buds._

Ugh.

Scorpia ushered Catra through the front door, holding it open. “Man, I can’t believe you haven’t been here since before they renovated. You’re gonna love the snazzy new indoor track. Ooh, and you gotta check out the weight room. They have a squat rack, and it is fantastic. I am, of course, delighted to be your spotter at any point. Just gimme a holler.”

Catra paused inside to tie her shoelace, swinging her leg up onto a couch in the lobby. “I’m good.”

“It’s no problem. Seriously! I love spotting. If we coordinate our circuits, I can rest while you lift and you can...”

Scorpia’s voice drowned in punk rock thanks to Catra’s headphones. Shredding guitar, distorted vocals, and pounding drums: that was all she wanted to hear during a workout. Definitely not someone else talking at her.

Because Catra’s day was apparently going to be steeped in irritating, unwanted social interactions, the receptionist looked up as she and Scorpia walked past him. He was a scrawny guy, definitely not an employee who took advantage of the weights just down the hall from him. When he started to stand up and wave with a concerned expression on his face, Catra generously conceded to take out one earbud.

“Um, excuse me,” he started, voice cracking. “We, uh...we have a dress code.”

Catra glanced down at her outfit. Well-worn running shoes, shorts, and a sheer black crop top with WILD CAT printed in bold, white letters - the only birthday gift from the previous year she hadn’t returned for cash or store credit. Scorpia usually dressed like she was about to go chop lumber for fun, but she had a surprisingly good eye for picking out clothes that worked on her roommate. If Catra was going to bother working out, she was going to show off the results.

“Dress code?” Scorpia repeated, a little alarmed. Such a goody two-shoes.

“Aww, my bad,” Catra drawled. “I left my suit in the car.” She started to replace her earbud, but the receptionist was circling his desk and coming closer.

“Sorry. I can’t let you in,” he said. Next to Scorpia, he was comically tiny, his shoulders barely pushing half the width of hers.

Catra squared up, hands on her hips as she stared him down. “So you’re slut shaming me?”

“What?” His eyes bugged out of his head like a squishy toy. “No, I--”

Catra glanced at his name tag. “What’s the matter, Kyle? Crop tops too scandalous for the esteemed patrons of the Bright Moon Public Rec Center?”

“You just need to wear socks,” he squeaked.

Retreating a step, Catra clenched her jaw, hoping it would suppress the embarrassed blush threatening to color her cheeks.

Scorpia leaned in. “I’ve got an extra pair in my bag if you want.”

“Fine,” Catra said through gritted teeth. She looked at the floor and noticed that Kyle was wearing sandals. “You know, Kyle, I’m pretty sure your job requires closed-toed shoes. Be a shame if you - or someone else - dropped a weight at the wrong time, huh?”

The receptionist fled back to the safety of his desk. “You can change in the locker room,” he said quickly as he disappeared into an office. Catra swore she heard a lock click as the door closed behind him.

“Dontcha think that was a little much, maybe?” Scorpia asked.

“Whatever. I’ll leave him a tip on the way out or something,” Catra grumbled. Yeah, maybe shrimpy Kyle didn’t deserve her ire, but she was well beyond pent-up. If she didn’t punch and/or blow up something in the next ten minutes, she couldn’t guarantee anybody’s safety.

In the locker room, she brusquely declined Scorpia’s extra pair of socks. Rayon made her feet sweat, okay? And of course, of course, her bluetooth headphones went and died. As if she needed anything else to go wrong.

As soon as they entered the cardio area, Scorpia beelined for her beloved Stairmaster.

“You sure you don’t want to join me for some interval training?” she asked, hopping onto her machine. “Looks like the bag’s taken.”

Catra could hear it from here - someone was treating that punching bag like it had killed their entire family. _THWACK THWACK THWACK._

“Ooh, it’s my lucky day. Shark Tank’s on!” Scorpia added, pointing to the TV as if it wasn’t the thing that clinched Catra’s decision to turn away without another word.

Catra already had an eye roll locked and loaded thanks to Scorpia, but what she saw by the punching bag nearly made her break out laughing instead. Some girl with bright purple hair was throwing punch after kick after punch, her prissy, pink ensemble standing in absurd contrast with what were clearly poorly hidden anger management issues. Her cutout sports bra alone probably cost double what Catra had paid for her whole outfit, shoes included. She was hitting hard, but her form was terrible. If someone didn’t step in soon, she was probably going to bust a finger.

For the sake of safety, Catra just had to interrupt her.

Catra approached the bag, linking her fingers together and stretching her arms up overhead. Yes, she knew that it showed off her shoulders and triceps. Yes, she’d been planning to intimidate the girl into backing off. Unfortunately, this sparkly little twerp was hell-bent on beating the bag to a pulp and didn’t even notice Catra walk up. She had full-on tunnel vision. Was she even blinking?

“Hey.” Catra called, circling around. _THWACK_ \- the bag nearly snapped off of its hook with the girl’s next hit, swinging past Catra. “Whoa. Watch it, Glitter.”

As the bag swung back, the girl barely let it pass its neutral position before whaling on it again. “It’s Glimmer, actually.” _THWACK_.

Oh, this was going to be too easy.

“Seriously?” Catra snorted. “Your name’s Glimmer?”

This time, Glimmer caught the bag and hugged it to her chest, halting it. She released it to wipe her arm over her forehead, and Catra was sincerely unsure whether there was more or less sweat across her brow afterwards.

“Can I help you?” Glimmer asked, tone already pointed like a drawn rapier.

Catra put on her best disinterested, unaffected face. “Yeah, you can. I’ve got the bag after you.”

“Hm. No, you don’t.” _THWACK THWACK THWACK._

Catra narrowed her eyes at the girl, seething. Maybe she wasn’t going to make this so easy. Fine. If Catra couldn’t hit something, she was more than happy to settle for a verbal scrap. “Who died and made you queen of Bright Moon?”

The girl scowled, a surprisingly convincing expression on her. She opened her mouth, no doubt to rebut with some quip about how Catra had no manners or some bullshit, but a third person was walking up to join them by the bag. That was when Catra realized her day was truly cursed. She’d come here to blow off steam, and now she was stuck facing off with angry glitter girl...

“Everything okay, Glimmer?” the new girl asked.

...and her _ridiculously_ hot friend.

Nobody should look that good in plain old gym shorts. And who gave her the right to wear a cropped, sleeveless hoodie in public? With those abs? Was she trying to cause horrible accidents just by walking into the weight room? Not to mention the thigh-high socks - obviously she was so obsessed with rules that she made a point of wearing the most obvious socks of all time. Even the stupid little hair poof on top of her head looked perfect despite her toned, sweat-sparkling arms that made it clear she’d already been working out for some time.

Catra hadn’t even started her own workout yet, but her mouth was parched dry.

“Is she bothering you?” the girl asked her small, furious friend.

“Everything’s fine,” Glimmer dismissed. “She was just leaving, right?”

Catra crossed her arms and leaned down closer to Glimmer, hoping to rub in the few inches she had on the shorter girl. “Not a chance, Sparkles.” Threatening to betray her confident stance, her foot itched to tap against the rubbery floor.

Glimmer held Catra’s glare with equal ferocity. Finally, she stepped back from the bag, but before Catra could take her place, Glimmer gestured to the new girl. “Bag’s all yours, Adora.” She flashed a saccharine smile at Catra.

“Thanks,” Adora said, a slight furrow between her eyebrows. “Do you guys know each other or something?”

“Nope,” Glimmer replied, popping the P with frightening finality. She stalked off to join a tall, smiley boy by the water fountain who wore a shirt that read GOSH I LOVE ARROWS. Catra had to wonder if their little trio had coordinated crop top day on purpose. They probably had daily workout themes or something.

Ugh, how unfair. Their argument had barely started, and Glimmer just tagged someone else in who had no stakes in it. How was Catra supposed to enjoy this now?

For some reason, this Adora girl was staring, and it made Catra feel unusually self-conscious.

“What?” Catra snapped.

“I like your shirt,” Adora said.

Catra flinched. What the hell was her angle here? Had she completely missed the part where Catra was insulting her friend a second earlier?

“Sorry about Glimmer,” Adora continued. “She’s kind of...having a rough day. Week. Couple of weeks. She and her mom keep arguing--”

“Could not care less,” Catra said. “Listen, she’s not the only one with shit to take out on the bag.”

“Do you want to fight?”

Catra blinked. “What?” _Yes_.

“I mean, like, spar. They’ve got a padded room behind the racks,” Adora said.

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Is this some fucked up plan to beat the shit out of me for harassing your friend?”

Weirdly enough, Adora laughed. Unexpected. “No. Glimmer can handle herself.”

“And you think I can’t?” Catra retorted.

“Um...” Adora looked Catra up and down, scanning her over. When her eyes met Catra’s again, she seemed to have completely forgotten the question.

“Look,” Catra started before Adora could take the opening. “As much as I’d like to pin you to a mat, I’m no martial artist.” _Oh,_ that did not sound right.

“You what?” Adora said with a hint of a smirk, proving that her obliviousness only ran so deep.

“I said I’m no martial artist,” Catra repeated, breezing past her blunder and spray painting it over with a sheen of mild irritation. “But if you want me to kick your ass, I won’t say no.”

“Ha, sure,” Adora returned, mirroring Catra and crossing her arms and highlighting far too many menacingly distracting things. “You really think you can take me?”

Catra scoffed, forcing herself to look away. She saw Scorpia literally cheering at the TV. “I’ll barely break a sweat,” Catra said.

“You want to bet on that?” Adora extended a hand.

Dangerous territory, for sure, but Catra could feel her fingers twitching impatiently, bracing to trade punches with this cocky stranger.

“If you lose, you have to apologize to Glimmer.”

“Oh, fuck no,” Catra said a little too loudly, drawing the attention of Glimmer and her pal from behind Adora.

“Okay.” Adora shrugged, withdrawing her hand and stepping up to the bag. “Just so you know, I’m usually on the bag for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I’m feeling like I might run long since it’s been a few days.”

Catra couldn’t take it anymore. “Fine. Let’s fight. I’ll apologize to Lululemon _if_ I lose, which I won’t.”

Adora brightened. “Great. Let’s go.” She was already heading for the padded room past the weights.

“Hang on,” Catra said, stepping into Adora’s path. “When I win, what do I get?”

“Um...the bag’s all yours?”

“Works for me,” Catra said, too worked up to be embarrassed about how eager she was.

***

Alright, so maybe this wasn’t the first instance of Adora getting a little, ah...competitive at the gym.

The first time she’d joined Bow and Glimmer’s Buff Friends Squad, she’d gotten into an arm wrestling match with some mustache guy 2 minutes after entering the building. Oh, and of course there was that one day when she took on a woman twice her size in a lifting contest - though considering that one ended with the woman picking her up and benching _her_ instead of the bar just to prove a point, it wasn’t a total loss. A few weeks after that, mustache guy’s girlfriend ran into Adora and challenged her to a dance off for embarrassing her boyfriend in public specifically because she hadn’t been around to film it. Of course, her boyfriend did manage to capture the dance off on camera (Glimmer had been this close to throwing Adora's phone at a brick wall, but Bow had gone ahead and invited the couple to their next game night). 

So, anyway, one second Adora was standing by the water station with Bow, eyeing a suspicious, angry-looking stranger in an extremely flattering crop top, and the next, well...

Yeah, Glimmer wasn’t gonna like this.

“So what are we doing?” the other girl asked.

Suddenly, Adora realized something. “Hang on, what’s your name?” she asked.

“Why do you need to know?” The girl crossed her arms. It reminded Adora of Glimmer: the kind of attitude that assured a bite to match.

“I prefer to know who I’m fighting,” Adora returned.

The girl tossed her a sideways glance, pausing before saying anything. Finally, “Catra. Now how are we doing this? Gloves? Headgear? Bareback?”

Half-listening, Adora turned the name over in her head. Catra. Interesting. She’d never heard it before. Then again, she’d never met another Adora, either. Absently, she answered, “Yeah, sure.”

“Bold choice. I like it.”

“Huh?” Adora snapped back to the moment, unsure what she’d just decided.

“I hate those dumbass ankle guards,” Catra continued, completely ignoring Adora’s confusion. “They never stay on for more than like, three kicks.”

She circled partway around the room before breaking off towards the middle. There she stood, impatience radiating, leaning her weight into one foot. Her torn leggings flexed over the sharp point of her hip.

“Have you stretched yet?” Adora asked, swinging her arm across her chest. Her shoulder offered a pleasant pop of release.

Catra ran through a couple of half-hearted quad stretches, then dove to touch her toes. She pressed her palms to the ground next to her feet easily. No way she was really a boxer. That built short, quick, hair-trigger-twitch muscles. Nothing like the long, lithe cuts on glaring display past the hem of her cropped, sheer shirt.

“Hello?” Catra said.

Oh, no. Had Adora been staring? She zoned out sometimes when she was tired. She tried picking a point to watch on the wall instead, but Catra was so...interesting to look at. Despite the obvious abs, the easiest thing to latch onto was her eyes. How many people actually had two different colored irises? Adora hadn’t ever seen it in real life, that was for sure. And there was something about the way she moved - maybe she was a dancer. Yeah, that could be it.

When Catra reached her arms up overhead, Adora felt like she’d already been sucker punched in the stomach.

“Let’s get this over with so you can get back to being that annoying, sparkly girl’s sidekick,” Catra said. She raised her hands in front of her face.

“Sidekick? Please,” Adora scoffed. “If anything, Bow’s her sidekick,” she mumbled.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

_“Princess?”_

“You heard me.”

Instead of commenting on Catra’s shoddy form, she smirked and decided to take advantage of one of the six openings she saw.

Adora swept Catra’s front leg out from under her, knocking her off balance. Impressively, she managed to recover before falling. Usually a low sweep took down anyone using such a wide stance.

“Cheater,” Catra spat. “We didn’t even start yet.” She steadied herself, returning to the same faulty stance. She certainly seemed like someone who might be familiar with bad habits - and Adora was suddenly far too curious to know more.

“Fine. We’re starting now,” Adora said, immediately striking at a hole in Catra’s guard and chopping right at her ribs.

With a slight grunt, Catra clutched at her side.

“I thought you said you could handle yourself,” Adora teased.

Catra’s growl made it clear she didn’t find the joke at all funny.

Instead of riling her opponent up more, Adora dropped her guard. “Alright, time out. You can’t fight me like this.”

“Change your mind about the stupid ankle guards?”

Adora shook her head. “Your form’s all wrong. And, contrary to what you said earlier, I don’t just want to beat you up. It’s no fun without a challenge.”

Catra crossed her arms. “What are you, some kind of expert fighter?”

“I mean, I have three certifications in unarmed combat and I’ve won two international tournaments, so...yeah,” Adora shrugged.

“Then tell me,” Catra started, “what am I doing _oh so wrong?”_

“First off, your--you know what? It’ll be easier if I just show you.”

Adora crossed the middle of their imaginary ring and squared up in line with Catra.

“Alright. So you’re gonna want to start with a shorter stance. Sometimes wider stances can make you feel more grounded, since, you know, you’re closer to the ground, but it makes it harder to keep moving and stay light on your feet. Plus, it makes it really easy to knock you off balance.”

“Uh-huh,” Catra said, monotone. “You mean like you did just now. Dick move, by the way.”

Adora raised an eyebrow. “I don’t like fighting dirty, but I had a feeling you might beat me to it if I didn’t take the chance.”

Catra let out a very fake-sounding gasp and put a hand over her heart. “Are you accusing me of something, Adora?”

“Are you saying you don’t fight dirty?” Adora pushed.

“So presumptuous.”

“Am I wrong?”

Half a second later, Adora was facedown on the mat. She groaned at the sudden impact and pushed herself back up to stand.

“Guess not,” Catra smirked. “I don’t let stupid things like rules keep me from coming out on top.”

Adora blinked, suddenly feeling like her brain was rebooting. “Okay,” she said smartly.

“Thought you liked a challenge.”

Mentally tasing herself back into focusing, Adora shook her head and brought her hands up in front of her face. Catra, on the other hand, was leaving enough space between her forearms that Adora’s entire head could fit through.

“Okay,” Adora said again, “a couple things.”

“Oh, I am all ears,” Catra said, sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue.

Alright. This had gone on long enough.

Adora unleashed a flurry of carefully coordinated blows, first striking through the space in Catra’s guard and jabbing her in the left shoulder. Predictably, her arm drew back, leaving her lower left side vulnerable. A swift but controlled kick to the obliques sent her stumbling, and Adora wound up to go right for the gut--

But Catra was already on the mat. And she wasn’t moving.

Maybe that kick wasn’t as controlled as Adora thought.

Scrambling, Adora slid onto her knees and landed next to Catra.

“Hey, Catra,” she said, lightly slapping Catra’s cheek. “Hey.”

Suddenly, Catra’s foot lashed out, catching Adora squarely in the chest and knocking the wind right out of her. She tumbled backwards and landed roughly in a seat.

“Gotcha,” Catra teased, far too amused with herself. “Don’t you know how to tell when someone’s obviously faking?”

“Hasn’t been a problem before,” Adora returned, barely catching her breath.

“You gonna earn that bullshit cocky attitude or just keep talking?” Catra challenged.

Adora responded by striking out again, this time faking a high left hook and instead aiming to connect with a low right jab. Catra saw it coming and jumped back, dodging both attacks. She dropped to the floor as Adora brought up her leg for a side kick, forcing Adora to correct at the last minute and aim low. Even then, Catra wasn’t there. Before Adora could register it, Catra lunged for her grounded leg. It was a dangerous move - too much force could have dislocated Adora’s knee, but Catra seemed less interesting in taking her down than using the strange difference in levels to her advantage. Adora couldn’t land a good kick with Catra clinging to one essential leg like a tree-bound koala on a Eucalyptus trip. Punching straight down, well...Adora didn’t really want to break her hand on someone’s skull.

“Get off,” Adora tried, shaking her leg as much as she could with an entire person’s weight attached. Catra was surprisingly heavier than she looked.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” Catra said, the strain in her voice betraying her confidence.

Adora wracked her brain for an escape technique. She knew a Muay Thai break if someone grabbed her leg during a kick, but when it was planted on the floor? Catra was really throwing her for a loop here. Maybe Adora could take a cue from Catra’s style and improvise - think on her foot, so to speak.

Putting all of her weight into her grounded foot, her plan was to jump straight at Catra, spooking her and forcing her to let go or risk taking a knee to the face. The escape was supposed to give Adora time to find her balance and land unrestrained, but since she was pushing off of the ground, everything was off.

She really should have known that Catra would be anything but predictable.

Right when Adora started to push off, Catra pulled. It added way too much forward momentum to Adora’s jump, and as Catra fell back, Adora landed on top of her. For the second time in minutes, Adora felt all of the air leave her lungs. It probably had more to do with the fact that she’d just landed on her stomach, but she was also entirely unprepared to see Catra’s eyes in extreme close up.

Adora tried to breathe, deep inhales and heavy exhales. She just couldn’t stop staring, but Catra was staring, too - so maybe she didn’t have to tear her gaze away just yet.

A half-hearted sorry rode out on Adora’s next breath, and Catra replied with an utterly inscrutable sound that couldn’t have been more dismissive of the apology.

Technically, Catra was pinned. But she wasn’t moving a muscle to fight it.

Adora knew she should move. She should jump back up, get in her stance, untangle her leg from where it was stuck between Catra’s. Anything. But Adora couldn’t even bring herself to blink, not before she finished tracing the pattern of freckles across Catra’s nose all the way down to her lips, parted just enough to show off wolfish teeth. The satisfied smirk on Catra’s face faded. Braced with one arm on either side of her, bracketing her in, Adora watched as Catra’s hostile facade dissipated into something far more vulnerable - and far more dangerous.

Just as Adora started to lean down--

“Adora!” A shrill voice chastised.

Catra threw Adora off. Glimmer was standing at the door to the padded room, fists balled at her sides, looking decidedly intimidating.

“Were you _fighting?”_ Glimmer’s voice rose again.

“Um...” Adora looked at Catra as if she might be able to come up with some other perfectly reasonable excuse for what was going on.

Unfortunately, Catra looked just as stunned as Adora felt. She shook her head unconvincingly.

“All I want,” Glimmer started, _“All I want_ is one normal trip to the gym. One!”

Adora got up and offered Catra a hand. Catra glanced at it and simply raised an eyebrow at Adora before pushing herself up.

“Sorry, Glimmer,” Adora offered.

“Whatever,” Glimmer growled. “Are you almost ready to go?”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna go...take a shower,” Adora said, her gaze sliding back to Catra as she carefully enunciated the last three words. Catra narrowed her eyes, and it was enough to convince Adora that her intention hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Adora power-walked out of the room.

When she reached the cardio area, she turned around to check. Sure enough, Catra was striding out of the room, too.

Catra paused next to Glimmer and smacked her on the shoulder. “Bag’s all yours, Confetti,” she said with a forced smile.

“Oh, come on! Now you’re just being obnoxious!” Glimmer called after her.

Adora didn’t slow her pace until she reached the locker room door. She did a quick sweep to make sure no one else was there, and when she returned to the entrance, Catra was there.

“So we’re doing this, right?” Catra asked.

Adora nodded vigorously and locked the door. “Yep.”

And they collided.

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the most emotionally charged locker room sex between strangers you'll ever read, i'm not apologizing. season 5 got me fucked up

Half-thinking, Catra barely had enough awareness to check that she hadn’t jostled the lock out of place when her back slammed against the door. The last thing she wanted was Adora’s annoying, preppy friends interrupting.

If anything could shatter Catra’s boredom, getting pinned to a wall by a girl with incredibly well-defined biceps was a pretty good start. Adora’s arms were actually stupidly toned, as Catra’s hands were now discovering up close. Her fingers brushed the sleeve of that idiotic cutoff sweatshirt, and Catra was already thinking about how she might get rid of that particular article altogether. Maybe she’d “accidentally” tear it off. The flimsy fabric wouldn’t offer much resistance.

Their lips hadn’t even met yet, but Adora was already breathing like she’d just run a relay. It soothed the nerves Catra was actively refusing to acknowledge (she didn’t exactly hook up with random people on a regular basis, but she really hoped it wasn’t obvious). Oddly comforting, seeing Adora so worked up. Maybe Catra wasn’t the only one in dire need of a good distraction.

Before she could waste another second thinking, Catra pulled Adora to her, kissing her with the same snarl she’d worn while pouncing at her in the sparring room. Adora met Catra’s move spectacularly, countering with just as much fire. Her hands found their way to Catra’s hips, pulling them flush against her own.

Catra’s nails dug into Adora’s shoulders. The possibility of purposefully ruining that perfect ponytail was too strong, and Catra, in no position to resist any sort of temptation, let her fingers drag over Adora’s skin and grasp at the tightly corralled hair at the base of her skull. The muffled, high-pitched sound Adora let out made the corners of Catra’s mouth twitch up.

When Catra coaxed Adora’s lips apart, a breath of a sentence followed.

“Quick question,” Adora asked.

“Better be,” Catra murmured back.

“Is anything, um, off limits?”

Catra paused. She pulled away from Adora’s face. “You mean besides fucking in a locker room?”

The pink blush on Adora’s cheeks darkened. She brushed a loose piece of hair back, and Catra relished in the knowledge that she’d been responsible for misplacing it. Adora went on, “I don’t want to--I know we just met, but sometimes I get caught up in...things, and I want to make sure I’m respectful, y’know?”

Unsure how to unpack that, Catra dodged. “You ramble when your mouth’s not busy, _y’know?”_

“Catra,” Adora said sternly.

Something about hearing her name on Adora’s lips - in this context, maybe, or with such unexpected gravity - pulled Catra’s heart up into her throat. Who was this random girl, bothering to care so intently about someone she didn’t even know? She didn’t have to worry about Catra’s feelings. Catra didn’t even worry about Catra’s feelings.

Whatever was happening, Catra needed to find a way to shut it down fast. Locker room hookups weren’t supposed to involve...this.

“I’m fine with whatever,” Catra said dismissively. She brought their mouths back together, sweeping her tongue across Adora’s bottom lip to elicit an only slightly more dignified groan. She’d have to shut up after that.

But still, Adora whispered, “You’re sure?”

Clearly she wasn’t going to let this go. It made Catra feel too much - terror, relief, a spark of something else. Definitely terror again.

“I--I’ll let you know,” Catra managed.

Adora nodded. “Okay.”

Compelled, Catra asked, “What about you?”

“Um...biting’s good.”

Catra’s eyebrows rose, first in shock, then settling into something much closer to amusement. “Are you asking me to--”

“Yeah,” Adora interrupted, nibbling at her own lip nervously. “I mean, only if you want to.”

Hot and endearing was a dangerous combination. The smart choice would have been to unlock the door, shove Adora into the hallway, and hop into an icy shower to kill off whatever was blossoming in her chest. Unfortunately, the rational part of Catra’s brain had shut off the second she’d seen Adora’s abs.

Catra swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Well? Kiss me, dumbass.”

“Okay,” Adora breathed, cutting herself off with Catra’s mouth.

Clearly, Adora was the kind of person who put 120% of her effort into everything she did. She didn’t just hit punching bags for fun; she won international fighting championships. She kissed with the same amount of fervor and undeniable focus, like there was nothing else in the world that could have possibly mattered more at that moment.

Each sound Adora let slip felt less and less like a win for Catra - clearly, Adora didn’t care that she was loud, and at this point her unabashed moans were affecting Catra more than she cared to admit. Did she even notice how damn loud she was being? Or was she too enamored with skimming her thumbs over Catra’s exposed hipbones, taking a fragment of Catra’s sanity each time she approached the edge of her waistband and retreated?

“Careful, Adora,” Catra warned.

Counter to Catra’s intent, Adora’s hands immediately left her skin. She held them up like she’d just been caught tapping a fish tank at an aquarium. “Sorry.”

“Ugh, no, I wasn’t--can you stop being so considerate for like, two seconds?”

A little crease appeared between Adora’s eyebrows. “You want me to be less considerate?”

Catra leaned back against the door. The cool air filtering in between them became unbearable, and Catra took it upon herself to grab one of Adora’s hands just to feel the heat radiating off her palm again. “That’s not what I meant. I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be so...” She gestured loosely at Adora’s body.

Adora looked down. “...Sweaty? We’re at a gym, Catra.”

“Agh, no! I didn’t expect you to be nice, okay?”

A soft smile smile spread over Adora’s features, and something about it made Catra’s skin itch.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Catra felt her face grow warm.

And then, Adora’s mouth was too gentle on hers, and everything turned upside-down.

All Catra could do was cling to the sturdy silhouette in front of her and try not to panic. She could have been floating an inch off the floor, completely unmoored. Rough was good, aggressive was easy - this was new. How was she supposed to kiss someone who gave a damn about how she wanted to be kissed back?

It didn’t have to mean anything.

It couldn’t.

Right as Catra thought she might talk herself back down to earth, she felt her feet leave the ground for real. From just a few minutes of sparring, Catra knew that Adora was strong, but she didn’t expect to be lifted like the smallest weight on the rack being roped into a bicep curl. Adora’s fingers pressed around her thighs, a sure grip supporting her weight.

Adora shifted, and Catra crossed her ankles at the small of Adora’s back. She tightened her vice grip around Adora’s waist, unwilling to let her take all the credit for holding her up.

“You okay?” Adora asked.

Eyes barely fluttering open, Catra nodded. She couldn’t stop kissing her - she couldn’t risk embarrassing herself with another conversation.

Hoping to regain even a dash of her own dignity, Catra trailed away from Adora’s lips and across her _are you fucking kidding me_ jawline, finding a deliciously vulnerable spot just over her pulse point.

Biting down hard drew a yelp from Adora - she sounded like she’d seen a ghost.

Catra drew back. “What? Forget I was here?”

Adora let out a tiny, breathless chuckle. “You just--really went for it, huh?”

“You asked me to!”

“I know that!”

Adora looked like she might hurt herself searching for more words to explain - and oh, shit, her eyes were like deep, liquid silver - and Catra had to look away. She found herself nosing at the heroic curve of Adora’s jaw, her fingers dancing over Adora’s other cheek.

“Changed your mind?” Catra murmured against Adora’s skin.

“No,” Adora replied quickly. “Just go easy on me, maybe?”

“Go easy?” Catra scoffed. “You mean like--” Adora’s lips slid over hers, “--using world-class martial arts moves--” and again, “--just to kick a stranger’s ass?”

Adora snorted - actually _snorted_. Catra could feel her smirk. “You think I kicked your ass?”

The impossibly magnetic draw, the way Adora hadn’t even broken a sweat holding Catra up, the push of Adora’s hips against her - it was all too distracting to fight back. Stupid Adora and her stupid muscles.

Instead of wracking her brain for a witty comeback, Catra returned to the spot she’d bitten, scraping her teeth over the delicate skin. Adora shuddered, something Catra might have found more disconcerting, considering her current position, if she were at all capable of thinking anymore.

She let herself work by instinct, nipping and sucking over the nearly frantic pulse until she found the perfect pressure. Adora whimpered out a groan.

“That better?” Catra asked, craving an answer she already knew.

“Mhmm,” Adora hummed.

Placated, Catra let her hands run free, traveling up Adora’s dumb, hot crop top until they skimmed her sports bra - or rather, where her sports bra should have been. Much to her surprise, she found no barrier between her palms and the soft, giving skin that stood in such contrast to what she’d seen and touched of Adora’s body already.

“Do they still call this commando?” Catra joked, running her hand across Adora’s chest.

“What?” Adora asked, barely remembering that the word had a “t” at the end.

“Aww,” Catra teased, swiping her thumb over a predictably sensitive point. Adora drew in a sharp breath, cuing Catra to continue.

Adora’s eyes closed. Her expression was one of nearly unperturbed bliss, the smallest furrow between her brows giving away the tension building somewhere deeper. Catra was tempted to let her hand stray lower, but it was too much fun watching Adora struggle to stay upright just from this.

“Oh, Adora,” Catra purred, “You’re already desperate, aren’t you?”

Adora’s only response was a pathetic, strained moan, like she was trying to swallow it down.

“If I stopped, would you beg me to keep going?”

Adora hesitated, then forced herself to nod.

Catra laughed, low and dark. “You’re making this way too easy.”

The next thing Catra knew, Adora’s hands were around her wrists, and the only things holding her up was the wall and the jolting pressure of Adora’s hips against her center. Her wrists were pinned just above her head, Adora’s arms pressing forward at a frankly ideal angle from Catra’s vantage. Every perfect cut was on display, every muscle flexed. Catra had anticipated Adora being competitive, but she hadn’t thought she’d be so enthralled with the results. It was so easy to push Adora’s buttons, but that didn’t make it any less satisfying.

And apparently Adora had a few tricks up her non-existent sleeves.

***

Adora tried to tear her eyes away from Catra’s, but it was a Herculean task. She could handle supporting Catra’s weight, but something about those perfectly mismatched eyes stabbed straight through her defenses and caught her in the most vulnerable places. She needed to hold Catra back, hold herself back, just for a second. There was something too big to see happening.

Adora needed to figure out why it was easy all of a sudden - to say what she wanted, to let everything out in sounds she’d never dared make otherwise. She hadn’t exactly asked anyone to bite her before. But with Catra, it had rolled off her tongue as easily as a simple greeting. Maybe it was because Catra was a stranger, someone Adora could walk away from without consequence. Or maybe it was because Catra was brash, unapologetic, and unbelievably hot, and Adora was already dreading the idea that their paths might never cross again.

“Will you get dinner with me?” Adora blurted out. Ah, so it was the second thing, then.

Catra just blinked at her for a long moment. Then, in the most utterly baffled tone Adora could’ve imagined: “Are you asking me out? Right now?”

“I...I think so?”

“Why does that sound like a question?”

“Forget it,” Adora backtracked. “I’m totally not thinking. Let’s just--”

Catra cut her off by pressing their lips together, hard. “Ask me again in twenty minutes.”

Adora could live with that.

Yeah.

...Oh, gods.

What was she thinking?

Before she could spiral, Catra’s mouth was on her neck again, burning through her anxiety. It was intoxicating, bruising and soothing, venom and antidote all at once.

That side of her neck was probably wrecked, but Adora wasn’t about to tell her to stop. Honestly, if Catra hadn’t started slipping right then, Adora might have let her go on for hours.

She released Catra’s wrists to catch her, but her hands landed somewhere past the backs of Catra’s thighs. Her fingertips dug in firmly all the same, and Catra let out her own shocked squeal.

“Did you just grab my ass?”

“No!” Adora paused. “Maybe.”

“Wow.”

“I was trying to catch you,” Adora argued.

Catra’s legs slid from their clamp around Adora’s waist, and her feet landed on the floor, gracefully and silently.

“You,” Catra started, flipping them around to press Adora against the door, “need to relax.”

Catra left one more kiss on Adora’s mouth, then sank out of sight.

Adora let her head drop against the wood behind her.

Was this really happening?

“Hey.”

She nearly passed out at the picture of Catra, looking up from her knees, fingers hooked into Adora’s waistband, a clear question in her eyes.

Adora gripped the closest thing she could find - the door handle, though it offered little grounding.

She nodded.

Silently, she thanked herself for wearing a crop top that day. It offered Catra exceptional access to leave open kisses down her stomach as she encouraged Adora’s shorts to succumb to gravity.

“Oh my god. Double commando?”

Adora opened her eyes - she hadn’t realized she’d been squeezing them shut.

Catra snickered. “Seriously, Adora?”

“It’s _comfortable--”_

Before she could finish her sentence, Catra’s mouth was on her.

Adora clawed at the door, finding no stable hold. Seconds or minutes could have passed before Catra was pulling one of Adora’s legs over her shoulder. Catra sat up on her knees, her tongue dragging impetuously, forcing a groan from deep in Adora’s chest.

“Somebody’s pent up,” Catra commented, as if she were making some incisive observation.

“Who? You?” Adora countered between shaky breaths.

Catra laughed, muttering something inaudible, and the vibration nearly broke Adora. She didn’t mean to, but her hands flew to Catra’s hair and tangled into her scratchy, untamed ponytail.

Despite the insistent hands trying to keep her hips at bay, Adora couldn’t help but roll with the rhythm Catra was setting. It was painfully slow, every stroke of her tongue turned deliberate and harsh. Adora couldn’t remember if this was what she usually liked - she couldn’t remember much of anything, really. All she knew was that this was the best kind of torment.

Her hips burned under Catra’s palms, a roiling fire kicking up in her gut. In response or by sheer luck, Catra’s pace picked up ever so slightly. Even that little push was enough to make Adora’s balancing leg wobble. At this rate, she wouldn’t be standing by the end of this.

Adora weakly protested when Catra’s mouth pulled away, the heat and pressure vanishing without warning. Deftly, Catra swung Adora’s leg off her shoulder and stood.

In reality, Adora was taller than Catra, but she’d lost a few inches slumping against the door in her battle to stay upright. Now, they were on eye-level with each other. The smug look on Catra’s face might have pushed Adora to keep up with their mutual teasing - but then Catra’s tongue slipped out over her lip to taste the shine there, and the last vestige of Adora’s self-control snapped.

She tightened her grip in Catra’s hair and smashed their lips together, messy and wholly uncoordinated. She grabbed Catra’s hand and plunged it low, done with the taunting and joking. Her fragile balance was bound to give out soon, but that couldn’t have mattered less when Catra’s fingers turned out to be as talented as her mouth.

Adora wrapped her arms around Catra’s neck, pulling her close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off of Catra’s skin against her stomach. If they were somewhere else, anywhere else, Adora would have stripped her bare.

That single thought overwhelmed her. Knees shaking, she held on fast, most of her weight falling onto Catra to keep steady.

Catra tried to say something, but Adora was adamant in keeping their lips connected. She knew what would happen if - when - Catra picked up speed.

“Mmph--‘dora,” Catra managed out of the corner of her mouth.

Adora hummed in response, still holding tight.

She was at the mercy of Catra’s hands, fingers, tongue, teeth tugging her bottom lip. Then a firm hand pushed against her shoulder, and she was too far gone to resist anymore.

“Catra,” Adora whined, the pressure between her thighs building unbearably fast. She never said people’s names, not like this. If Catra stopped, even so much as slowed down, Adora was sure she would burst into tears.

“Yes?” Catra crooned.

Before anything else could escape, Adora slapped a hand over her own mouth.

Catra pulled it free and trapped it. “I wanna hear you.”

“Catra,” Adora repeated, pleading with all the words she knew.

“Fuck it. Let the whole building hear.”

She was so smug. It was obnoxious. Cruel, taunting, prodding, coaxing, willing, demanding, exploding, _screaming--_

Adora couldn’t help it.

She was definitely getting banned from the gym.

Totally worth it.

***

“So that’s why you wouldn’t let me breathe,” Catra mused once the scream that ripped through Adora had faded. “For a second, I seriously thought you were just trying to kill me.”

It was obvious that Adora was way too out of it to respond in any meaningful way. Then she blinked heavily and met Catra’s eyes with a shy smile - and oh, Catra was wrong, some things said so much more than words could.

She looked away, suddenly very interested in the color of the door. Adora was practically boneless in her arms, apparently in no hurry to reclaim responsibility for her own body weight.

Adora buried her face in the crook of Catra’s neck with a giggle. It would’ve been totally ridiculous if it wasn’t so cute.

“What?”

“I can’t believe we did that,” Adora said.

“We? The screaming was all you.”

“Stop,” Adora laughed. She kissed Catra firmly, like she was sealing a letter.

Catra had made a terrible, wonderful mistake coming into this locker room.

“Your turn?” Adora suggested, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Yeah, Catra had followed this strange girl with a very clear goal, but something had shifted. Adora wasn’t just hot. She was thoughtful, kind, and hot. That was more positive personality traits than all of Catra’s exes combined, and it was starting to feel like very dangerous territory. The smart thing to do would be to walk away, take care of things on her own, and never think about Adora again. The smart thing would be keeping herself safe.

So she shook her head. “I’m pretty sure security is on their way up here, so.”

Adora looked...disappointed.

For the first time, Catra wondered if “smart” didn’t just mean “easy.”

Unwilling to look at Adora’s crestfallen expression for another second, Catra kissed her. It was slower, less driven than before - it gave Catra time to think.

And as she thought, Catra realized that she didn’t particularly want to think anymore, and she let her arms circle around Adora’s waist and pull her in. It was way, way too much for whatever this was supposed to be, but it was what she needed. Maybe she wanted to hold someone, or maybe she just wanted to be held herself. Fuck, was that such an awful thing to admit?

Adora’s fingertips ghosted over Catra’s cheek. “Is everything okay?”

If she asked that again, Catra was certain she’d shatter into pieces.

Maybe she wanted to.

“I’m good,” Catra answered. “But,” she continued, thumbing Adora’s chin, “you still need to earn that bullshit cocky attitude.”

“Oh?”

“Are you gonna make me ask nicely? Because I don’t do _please and thank you.”_

She ran her hands down Adora’s arm, intending to catch her wrist, by Adora took her by surprise and laced their fingers together instead.

There was no trick, it turned out, no secret behind Adora’s technique. It was all right there in the way she kissed, the way every touch felt so deliberate and purposeful. Her hands were everywhere, sure and confident even when Adora herself stuttered over another _Are you sure?_ Catra pressed her answer to Adora’s lips. _I’m sure._

Really, she had nothing to doubt about the way she moved - Catra could have said as much, but she wasn’t sure she trusted herself to speak again in case her fight-or-flight impulse took over. They’d already done the fighting part, and Catra was trying hard to convince herself that the other option wasn’t an option at all.

When Adora finally started venturing closer to where Catra needed her, she paused.

Catra was about to snap at her for it, but Adora looked...embarrassed. From Adora’s reaction, Catra’s irritation must have been painted on her face.

“Sorry,” Adora laughed, “it’s a little hard to stand right now.”

Catra laughed, surprised, but entirely pleased with herself. “You sure know how to flatter a girl. If you're trying to get in my pants, it's working.”

“Can we sit down?”

Catra wasn’t sure how this was going to work on a bench, but Adora seemed to have it figured out. She guided Catra to straddle her so that her knees met the bench's padded cover. A fleeting thought crossed Catra’s mind - had Adora done this before? She smothered the flare of jealousy, knowing she had no right to feel it in the first place.

Plus, given what she’d just heard, Adora would probably have been banned a lot sooner if this were any sort of habit.

Catra settled into her lap, delighting in the illusion of height the position gave to her. She cradled Adora’s jaw on both sides, kissing her deeply and letting her tongue roam. Adora grabbed at her waist, but her hands stayed there.

“Adora?”

“Yeah?”

With a growl, Catra said, “If you don’t fuck me soon, I’ll do it myself.”

Just like that, Adora’s hand was down Catra’s shorts. Too easy--

Except that Catra was completely unprepared for Adora’s calloused fingers to be so gentle, grazing her as softly as a bullet, bruising something unseen.

“Is this okay?” Adora whispered.

Catra released a fractured breath in response.

“Stay like this?” Adora asked.

A shuddering laugh left Catra’s lungs. “Fuck,” was all she could manage.

That feather-light touch hurt in a way Catra couldn’t understand. It tugged at something in her gut and turned her legs to jelly.

But Adora was prepared. She wrapped her other arm around Catra’s waist, giving her an anchor. Catra threw her head back as her hips moved of their own accord, Adora tracking her rhythm like it was second-nature.

Catra didn’t want this to end, but she knew she wouldn’t last long if Adora kept this up. She’d known when she was taunting Adora about being pent up that it would probably bite her in the ass, but whether or not she cared at this point was a separate, closed matter.

Unsure if she was still able to form a coherent sentence, Catra tried to shift so that Adora would switch tactics and slow down. When Catra rolled her hips forward, though, she miscalculated and hit the heel of Adora's palm. The shocking pressure of it made Catra stifle a needy sob, an expression she knew she wasn’t going to live down as soon as it rose in her throat.

Adora gasped at the sound. For a second, Catra worried she might stop, but then she saw look on Adora’s face.

Concern faded quickly to something approaching wonder. It made Catra blush furiously, but it also bolstered her. She pressed herself against Adora's front, their foreheads meeting last.

“Keep going,” Catra said.

Adora obliged, pressing her palm forward again.

“What you were doing before,” Catra corrected. “That was...”

“Good?”

“Yeah.”

The feeling came rushing back all at once.

Adora was touching her so carefully, holding her like she was something precious made of glass. But there was no fear in it, no danger - it was okay. Okay to break, to shatter. Adora’s hands were so sure, and Catra’s reasons not to trust them were dissolving with every feathered stroke.

With an entirely overwhelming kiss, Catra’s toes started to flex. She fought it back, clinging to Adora’s shirt, nails scraping at the skin under the thin fabric.

When she choked out Adora’s name, it sounded suspiciously like _please_.

“I’m right here,” Adora said.

Too much.

“I’ve got you.”

Catra was hurtling off a cliff, stripped of every sense. For that fleeting, perfect moment, nothing could hurt her.

She collapsed into Adora’s chest. The only thought that touched her consciousness was that she might very much like to stay there, but it fluttered away just as quickly as it had visited.

Her lungs heaved, all of her breath having been ripped out by her own silent scream. She tried to open her eyes, but the spots dotting her vision sent her spinning into vertigo again.

The arms around her squeezed a little tighter, and with a passing awareness, Catra remembered that she could, theoretically, hold herself up. It was an unwelcome realization, a truth she refused to acknowledge in action for another long moment.

Through the pleasant haze, she heard Adora’s voice. “What was that about a bullshit cocky attitude...?”

“Shut up,” Catra mumbled. “I’ll kick your ass. Rematch, right now.”

Adora’s laugh drifted in on a sunbeam. Catra took a deep breath, letting it wrap around her like a blanket.

“So...it’s been twenty minutes. I think,” Adora said shyly.

Catra looked at her.

A poorly hidden sliver of hope shone through on Adora’s face.

“Were you...serious?” Catra asked, playing with a string fraying off of Adora’s pathetic excuse for a sleeve.

“Yeah,” Adora said, sounding less like she was asking someone out and more like she was confessing to stealing the last piece of cake. “I know it was kind of random, but yeah.”

Catra hummed to herself in consideration. “I think that bullshit cocky attitude earned you one dinner.”

Slowly, Adora smiled. Then she beamed.

A thought popped into Catra’s head that filled her with utter glee. “Your sparkly little friend is gonna love this.”

“She may not survive the news.” Adora pursed her lips in an expression so mockingly serious that Catra had to kiss her.

***

“Nope. No way. I'm not doing it,” Glimmer protested, shriek-whispering as vehemently as possible.

“Your outside shoes are in there!” Bow argued, matching her volume. “You’re the one who insisted on using a locker instead of the mats by the door!”

Kyle cut in. “Technically I’m the only one allowed to use the key. Since, you know, I actually work here.”

“Great!” Scorpia said.

“So open it,” Glimmer commanded.

“Um,” Kyle fumbled his keyring and looked up at Scorpia towering over him. “Didn’t your friend threaten to drop a weight on my foot?”

Scorpia waved it off. “Nah, she was kidding. Probably.”

Bow was about to pull his own hair out. “Will somebody please open the door?!”

The lock clicked.

Everyone outside the door froze, except for Kyle, who took his chance to flee down the hallway.

Catra pulled the door open. She looked between the three suspicious loiterers, her eyes finally landing on Scorpia.

“Ready to go?” she asked, devastatingly casual.

Scorpia clamped her gaping mouth shut. “Um. Yep! Yeah. What--”

Adora stepped out from behind Catra, though her face turned noticeably redder when she saw her friends standing around. She immediately tried to cover the dark bruise on her neck, but it was too late.

“We just got here,” Glimmer blurted. “We swear.”

"Didn't hear a thing," Scorpia added, absolutely unconvincingly.

“Whatever,” Catra said. “Hey, Twinkle.”

“I hate you.”

Catra leaned in closer, her triumphant smile impossible to suppress. “Ask Adora what she’s doing tomorrow night.”

With that, she walked away. Scorpia caught up, but before she could ask, they heard:

_“You WHAT?!”_

Catra cackled. Gym day wasn't so boring after all.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took a second, but hopefully it was worth the wait B)
> 
> love u all
> 
> tumblr: kienava


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good evening wooluhwoos and associates
> 
> this AU refused to let me walk away, and so it is now officially a multi-chapter adventure. 
> 
> welcome. enjoy. i love u

Catra wasn’t sure what she’d find when she arrived to pick Adora up for dinner, but she wouldn’t have imagined a cute little suburban home with a carefully tended flower patch in the yard. And she definitely wouldn’t have thought that Adora would be sitting right out front chugging a gas-station-special-sized green smoothie.

“Hey!” Adora called, jumping up from her seat. Her hair was damp, and she was wearing another goddamn sleeveless shirt (it really should have been illegal for her to walk around in public like that). Despite the clues that she’d recently come from an intense workout, anxious energy still clung to her skin like fresh sweat.

“Pre-gaming dinner?” Catra asked, raising an eyebrow at the smoothie.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, I guess. It’s my post-workout ritual. Gotta get those gains, am I right?” Adora laughed, short and clipped. Her smile faltered.

Catra narrowed her eyes. She felt nervous, too - she wasn’t exactly good at this whole dating thing - but something else was going on.

Adora was acting weird.

“You’re acting weird,” Catra said bluntly.

“Pfft. No. You’re acting weird. ...No, you’re not. I don’t know why I said that.” Adora mumbled as she took a long slurp from her smoothie. The faux-innocent look on her face only told Catra that she’d been correct in assuming that the vibes here were very, very off.

An intrusive idea crossed Catra’s mind: maybe Adora was having second thoughts about all this. Their _date_. Was it weird to go out with someone you’d only met once? Probably. But straight people did it all the time in movies.

Better to rip the band-aid off now than sit through two hours of bristling small talk.

“Hey, listen, if you changed your mind about dinner--”

“No!” Adora cut in. Her cheeks flushed as her expression softened. “I definitely didn’t.”

“You sure? The entree smoothie’s kind of sending mixed signals.”

“Positive. Still plenty of room for breadsticks.”

Catra wanted to believe her, but that strange, tight smile and the incessant tapping of her fingers on the lid of her cup weren’t terribly convincing.

“I’m really happy to see you,” Adora admitted. At least there was some ease behind those words.

Encouraged, Catra took a sweeping step closer and caught the fresh scent of soap. “Really?” she teased, injecting most of her spare confidence into the word. “Careful. I might start to think that you actually like me.”

Their newfound proximity had a decidedly entertaining effect on Adora’s composure. Her straw slipped from her mouth. One of those reusable metal ones. It made sense - Adora just kissed like someone who would give a shit about the ocean.

Catra leaned in as close as she dared. “You gonna stop shotgunning liquid kale and tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s spinach, actually,” Adora said softly.

“My apologies to your spinach,” Catra said, feigning remorse as half-assedly as she could. She pulled away. It wasn’t just Adora who had trouble focusing when they were that close to each other. Hopefully the restaurant had big tables. Catra was not about to spend their entire first date thinking about banging in a public bathroom stall.

“So, um,” Adora started, toying with her straw.

It squeaked obnoxiously against the rubber top, driving Catra to snatch the whole glass out of Adora’s hand.

The decisiveness of the gesture was enough to break Adora’s evasive pattern.

“Bow and Glimmer invited you to eat here,” Adora said, taking a deep, quick breath. She forced an incredibly awkward, incredibly cute smile.

Catra tried to keep her surprise from showing, but she knew she was hiding it poorly. “Why would they do that?”

“Okay, well, you don’t have to look so freaked out,” Adora said. “They just want to get to know you.”

“Isn’t that, like, what people are supposed to do on dates? Alone?” Catra didn’t need Adora to know that part of her meant the question genuinely. There was supposed to be some kind of spark, in theory. All of the dates she’d ever gone on had been a simple means to an end. Formalities before the real event. Transactional, almost. Skipping that spark altogether generally made for a decidedly colder fire.

Catra wouldn’t exactly be mad if her night out with Adora ended in bed (or a public bathroom stall - she really wasn’t picky). But she was surprised to realize that she might be just as content if it didn’t go that direction at all.

Adora sighed. “Look, they just--they can be a little protective. I tried to get out of it, but Glimmer is kind of terrifying to argue with. Before she even brought it up to me, she and Bow already had most of the food cooking. On the bright side, they’re kind of amazing chefs.”

“They cooked? Like, with an oven? No takeout?” Damn. Adora’s roommates were serious. Given the terrible impression Catra had made on Glimmer during their first interaction, this had to be some kind of sick power play. Catra never even made food for herself, but apparently Adora and her roommates had family meal nights on a regular basis. If Glimmer was trying to make her feel bad, well...

Catra tried to swallow her apprehension. It didn’t work.

Adora shifted slightly. “I understand if you don’t want to stay,” she said. “This is kind of a lot.”

“Pretty sure your friends already hate me,” Catra said dismissively. “But I guess I won’t say no to a free meal. So long as the sparkly one takes the first bite.”

“They wouldn't try to poison you 'til after the interrogation,” Adora said, grinning impishly.

It was clearly supposed to be a joke, but it didn’t ease Catra’s nerves. In fact, it did quite the opposite. 

“We can hang out afterwards. If you want,” Adora added. Even subdued, the electricity charging her suggestion was impossible to ignore.

Really, who was Catra to pass up an offer like that?

***

If Catra didn’t do it first, Adora was quite possibly going to kill Glimmer.

As she led her date-turned-dinner-guest into the house, she recalled the heated discussion she’d had with her roommates barely ten minutes earlier.

_“Adora, we are not letting you go out with a total stranger!”_

_“She’s not a stranger, Glimmer!”_

_“What’s her last name?”_

_“Look, I--I know things. About her. Not that, but other things.”_

_“Oh, riiight. Because you two had sex in a locker room and we had to find a new gym! She’s obviously a terrible influence.”_

_“You’re still mad she called you Confetti, huh.”_

_“That’s irrelevant.”_

_“Seems pretty relevant to me...”_

_“Bow, you see what I’m trying to say, right?”_

_“You guys, quit fighting. Why don’t we just invite Catra to stay here for dinner? Oh, look! We made enough potatoes for everybody!”_

Alright, technically the whole ‘trap the nervous first-daters with food’ thing was Bow’s idea. But if Glimmer hadn’t been so pushy, Adora would have gotten out of it. She could have been knee-deep in unlimited breadsticks by now...

Adora glanced over her shoulder at Catra as they walked into the kitchen. “Sorry. I would have asked you about eating here way earlier, but they kinda sprung it on me when I was getting ready.”

“Thanks for at least trying to be considerate,” Catra said.

A shock ran up Adora’s spine as she recalled the last time she’d heard Catra use that word. _Considerate_.

Maybe it was a good thing they weren’t going somewhere public. Getting through this dinner was going to be enough of a challenge already.

Adora needed something else to focus on, and rinsing out her smoothie glass gave her a few seconds of respite. She left it in the sink (Glimmer liked to run the dishwasher after they had company. She said it made her feel classy).

“Hold on,” Catra started, striding across the kitchen and taking one of the large cylindrical containers from on top of the fridge. “You have three different kinds of protein powder?”

“Actually, we have six,” Adora said. “Whey, soy, pea, collagen, brown rice, and hemp. The rest are in the cabinet.”

“...And how many of them are yours?”

“Um. Four. Well, three and a half. Glimmer and I share the soy one.”

Catra replaced the first container she’d taken and grabbed another. She unscrewed the top and scrunched up her nose at the smell. “Hemp? Can you get high off this stuff?”

Adora reached for the container and replaced the lid. “Glimmer asked the same thing when I bought it. But no.”

“Then what’s the point?”

Adora pointed up at the label. “Protein.”

“Which none of these other protein powders have?”

“Different kinds are good for different workouts. There’s all sorts of science behind it.”

Catra reached up and grabbed the soy protein container, tossing it in back and forth between her hands and absently examining it. “Wow. So you’re a jock and a nerd.”

“I am not!”

“Just a nerd, then?”

Adora crossed her arms. “Y’know, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to bully someone on a first date.”

“Is it really a date if your friends are one wall away?”

“Do you still want it to be a date?”

“I asked you first.”

Adora moved to snatch the soy container back. Catra pulled it out of her reach, leading Adora to take too big of a step towards her. She realized her mistake too late - her hand covered Catra’s, and they both froze, inches apart. Catra’s gaze snapped up from the container, any passing interest in protein powder erased. 

Just stepping into Catra’s general radius was dangerous, but now there was skin and flaring heat and too much eye contact. Blood pounded in Adora’s fingertips, every bit of her drawn to that simple, magnetic touch. All she could do was stare and try to ignore the swell of embarrassment at just how quickly she’d--

“No making out in the kitchen!” Glimmer’s voice called from the dining room.

Catra pulled her hand away like she’d touched dry ice.

Unfortunately, Adora was very unprepared for the sudden withdrawal, and the loosely closed protein container slipped from her hand. Its contents poofed out onto the floor and all over Catra's bare feet. The strange little dance she did to shake them off was much cuter than it had any right to be. 

Of course Glimmer chose that moment to walk in. All she saw was Adora and Catra standing way too close to each other. “Ugh, seriously? Were you actually about to make out in the kitchen?”

“No!” Adora said indignantly.

Catra shot her a sideways look. Yeah, so what if Adora was lying? Her roommate didn’t need to know that.

Bow followed Glimmer in, but his eyes went straight to the mild disaster on the floor. “Want me to grab the vacuum?”

“Yes, please,” Adora said, miserable. This was thoroughly embarrassing. What kind of first date involved exploding cans of protein powder and routine household chores? Or roommates?

Glimmer glared. “Was that my soy powder?”

“Maybe.”

“Adora, why don’t you show Catra the house?” Bow suggested, placing a comforting hand on Adora’s shoulder and squeezing gently. “I got this.”

“You sure?” Adora asked.

Behind him, Glimmer crossed her arms. “Don’t get _distracted_. The food’s almost ready.”

Adora glanced at the timer on the oven. Eighteen minutes. Enough time to get very, very distracted - but she wanted this dinner to go well. She couldn’t get Catra in even more trouble with Glimmer and Bow. Not on their first date, anyway. And definitely not so soon after the whole locker room incident led to the Buff Friends Squad having to find a new gym.

She turned to Catra. “You want a tour?”

***

Bow had heroically volunteered to clean up the kitchen, though Catra suspected he just felt guilty for how he and Glimmer had commandeered Adora’s dinner plans. At least he seemed a lot less standoffish than his sparkly counterpart (seriously, that girl’s body glitter budget must have been through the roof).

Adora gestured to the staircase past the dining room. “So...this is the stairs.”

“Shit. I thought it was the garage,” Catra deadpanned.

“Ha-ha, very funny.”

Catra followed her up.

Adora stopped at the top. “And this is upstairs.”

“Wow. What’s your Yelp page? I’m giving you five stars,” Catra said, lingering on the last stair and leaning back against the wall.

“Are you bullying me again?”

“Of course not,” Catra drawled. “You’re practically a professional.”

“Thanks, I get a lot of practice.” Adora paused. “Not that I have people over that often. I mean, I do. I have friends. But I don’t usually...” She trailed off, her face scrunching up in strenuous thought.

“Where’s your room?” Catra pushed off the wall, very unwilling to indulge the many anxieties floating around in her head all of a sudden. There was one very effective and very accessible solution to banish them all.

“My room?” Adora repeated. “Right. I can--I can show you my room.” She didn’t move from her spot at the top of the stairs.

Catra glanced down the hallway. “Are you sure? Sounds like you forgot where it is, Five Stars.”

“I did not!” Adora argued.

She grabbed Catra’s hand and pulled her down the hallway. There were pictures all over the walls: coupley candids of Glimmer and Bow, photos of all three roommates in different cities, tableaus from birthday parties with what looked like a huge and very smiley friend group. Catra’s eyes lingered on one shot of a rather baby-faced, pre-teen Adora clad in full riding gear, her horse leaping over a hurdle.

“Oh my god. You’re a horse girl?” Catra snickered.

Adora hurriedly dragged Catra away from the picture. “That’s from a long time ago.”

“Your face was so round,” Catra said, poking one of Adora’s (now more defined) cheeks. “How _adora_ -ble.”

Adora blushed. Apparently this whole flirting via mild insults thing was working - not that Catra knew any other way to do it. She couldn’t stop herself. Every time she looked at Adora, she was instantly overwhelmed, and the only way she knew to express it was by hiding her compliments under layers of snark. Was it a bad habit? Maybe. But Catra had no idea how to break out of it, and she dreaded what might happen if she did. Without the shadow of sarcasm to guard her feelings, they’d burn to a crisp in the sunlight.

When Adora stopped in front of a closed, light blue door, she released Catra’s hand, putting some very unwelcome distance between them.

“See? Found my room,” Adora said quickly, gesturing to the door. “Let’s go back downstairs before--”

“Before...?” Catra interrupted. She thought she knew what might come next, but she wanted to hear it anyway. She put on a sly, practiced grin. “What?”

Adora was quiet. Her hair was dry now, Catra noticed, and it looked nice when she wore it down. Without her stupid little hair poof and tight ponytail, her grown-out bangs feathered into the rest of her hair, tumbling past her shoulders and unwittingly calling attention to her toned deltoids. Would it kill her to throw on a loose sweater or something?

And there it was again, the impossible intersection of gentle ache and blazing need that seemed to compose Catra’s entire spectrum of emotions in the past 24 hours. She felt her deliberate smile slip into something much less confident.

“Before...um...” Adora’s voice was soft, too soft - and the hint of urgency coloring her absent words was too much to handle.

Catra hooked a finger under the hem of Adora’s loose tank top, curling the fabric into a fist. She made no effort to bring them closer together - that was up to Adora, and she followed through perfectly.

Adora’s lips found hers, and Catra released a breath she’d probably been holding since leaving the locker room.

She melted under the strong hands already grasping at the bare skin of her low back. The heat of Adora's palms was almost unbearable, searing. Building, dangerously.

Being pressed up between Adora and a wall once again had more of an effect on Catra than she’d anticipated.

Catra let her own hands wander. They skated up firm muscle, her fingertips greedy to map every inch in one go.

Sure lips, firm arms around her waist - it was too good. The kind of simple that didn’t make any sense.

Wasn’t burning alive supposed to hurt more?

Clamoring for something she could understand, Catra dug her nails into Adora’s sides.

Adora’s breath caught fast.

“Too much?” Catra asked.

“No.”

The response was so devastatingly certain - and it triggered something primal.

Catra’s hands circled around to Adora’s back and shoulders, dragging down the sides of her spine slowly. Adora’s eyes stayed closed, and she bit her own lip hard enough to leave a mark.

Pain was easy. It allowed itself to be quantified and understood, a tool pliant to Catra’s will that rendered Adora just as malleable.

“You wanna show me your room now?” Catra asked.

“Yeah,” Adora breathed, kissing her hard.

Still, Catra’s back stayed against the wall, pinned by Adora’s body. When Adora made no move towards the door, Catra nipped at her already bruising bottom lip.

“I guess here works, too,” Catra said. She swept Adora’s hair back and drew her mouth across that sharp jaw, heading for the mark she’d left, dark and deep purple. It was some of her best work, really. She wasn’t above being proud of it. But before she could make any additions to her masterpiece--

“I do want to show you my room,” Adora started. “But...later.”

Catra stopped. When she let her hands drop away, she swore she felt Adora shudder. Hiding her own anticipation under a satisfied smile, she dragged a nail across the edge of Adora’s lower lip. She whispered, “Do you really think you’ll make it that long?”

When the oven timer beeped maliciously, Catra realized with her own shot of disappointment that neither of them had much say in the matter.

***

Adora didn’t dare look back as they headed back downstairs. She was seriously at risk of losing all resolve, shoving Catra into the nearby bathroom, and--

“Nice house,” Catra said.

As she was wrenched from her particularly vivid daydream, Adora barely managed to stop herself from gasping out loud. She did, however, trip over her own foot.

Catra’s hand closed around her wrist, steadying her. “Whoa, watch it.”

“Thanks,” Adora muttered.

“Hey, I can’t have you bashing your head in now. If I have to sit through this dinner, so do you.”

Adora turned around at that. Catra was still two stairs above her, a curious mask over her features.

Catra’s eyes drifted. She barely glanced at Adora for half a second. The striking blue and strange amber gave nothing away, but there were little cracks: a tense twitch of her nose, a slight crease between her brows. She swiped her hands back over her hair.

“Are you...nervous?” Adora asked.

Defensiveness seeped out in Catra's voice. “So what if I am? This whole thing is seriously weird.”

Adora smiled. If Catra was nervous, it meant she cared, even a little, about this dinner. Date. Whatever it was at this point. Without another word, she pulled Catra down to the landing, kissed her chastely, and headed towards the dining room.

Glimmer brought out a large bowl of what looked like potatoes and placed it on the dining room table.

“Alright, I think we’re ready,” she announced.

The sharp smirk curling Catra’s lip warned Adora too late. “Looks great, but I actually _just_ ate.” Catra’s fingers curled around her hip and squeezed just enough to land her point. 

Adora swore she saw smoke coming out of Glimmer’s ears.

Bow swooped into the seat next to Glimmer as he dished up plates, thankfully leaving Adora and Catra to sit on the opposite side of the table. It was a classic double-date setup, which Adora definitely was not going to point out. She and Catra had exchanged a total of twelve text messages, and Glimmer and Bow weren’t together (for some completely incomprehensible reason). Usually double dates involved real, actual couples.

At least the food was good. If Adora just kept filling her mouth with warm, melty potatoes, nobody could expect her to talk much.

...Which basically put a bullseye on Catra’s forehead.

“So,” Glimmer began. Just based on her tone, Adora fully believed she might have a knife hidden on her person.

“Spit it out, Sprinkle,” Catra said.

Their reluctant guest seemed to be enjoying the mac and cheese, though she hadn’t touched her pot roast. Simple comfort dishes were Glimmer and Bow’s specialty, but Adora found it kind of funny that her roommates had chosen to cook such an aggressively normal meal for such an unusual occasion.

Bow dabbed at the corner of his mouth with his napkin and replaced it on his lap. “Glimmer and I would like to know what your intentions are with our roommate.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “How graphic do you want me to get?” She brought another bite of mac and cheese to her lips and blew on it.

Adora really, really shouldn’t have stared.

Glimmer cleared her throat loudly. “Adora,” she said, strained, “Enjoying those potatoes?”

Adora flashed a thumbs up and shoveled in another forkful. She felt bad letting Catra take the brunt of the questioning on her own, but she’d made it very clear during their first meeting by the punching bag that she was capable of handling herself against Glimmer. 

“Come on,” Catra started, “I know you’re dying to go for the hard questions.”

Glimmer turned to her. “How’s the roast?” she asked, pointedly glancing at the untouched meat on Catra’s plate.

“I’m vegetarian,” Catra said. She looked at Adora, the edges of her words softening a little. “Seriously, I am.”

“Of course you are,” Glimmer said to herself.

Bow sounded horrified. “Adora, why didn’t you tell us?”

Adora glanced up from her nearly empty plate. She looked between her roommates, the told-you-so look on Glimmer’s face doing little to encourage her.

“Yes, Adora. Why didn’t you tell us this very important piece of information?” Glimmer enunciated.

It got under Adora’s skin. “Uh, because you guys didn’t reveal your little plan until I was just about to leave.” She hesitated. “Also because I didn’t know,” she added quickly. Maybe Glimmer would miss it.

No such luck. Glimmer rolled her eyes and sighed.

Catra shifted in her chair next to Adora. “I mean, I guess if I need more protein, I could go snort soy powder off the kitchen floor.”

Adora stifled a laugh, and she was surprised when Bow let out a genuine chuckle, too.

Glimmer didn’t look so amused.

“So, do you have a criminal record?”

“Glimmer!” Bow reprimanded.

“Not quite.” Catra cast a devilish wink in Glimmer’s direction. “The ice cream truck driver decided not to press charges.”

Adora’s eyes went wide. Catra caught it.

“I was six.”

“Oh.”

Glimmer was unfazed. “History of substance abuse?”

Finally, Adora smacked the butt of her fork against the table. “Glimmer, cut it out.”

Catra picked a piece of cucumber straight out of the salad bowl and nibbled on it. “Man, is living with a couple always this entertaining? Should I let Scorpia’s girlfriend move in with us?”

The table went silent.

Glimmer froze, an instant ice sculpture with perfect posture.

Bow grabbed a half-full bowl and scooted his chair back. “Would you look at that? We are almost out of potatoes.”

Adora looked in the bowl. “That’s the salad.”

He took the bowl anyway and went to the kitchen.

“Am I missing something?” Catra asked with a note of suspicion.

Glimmer focused her attention on her plate, carving her piece of meat with deadly precision. “No couples in this household.”

“Really?” Catra pressed.

“Really!” Glimmer answered in a frighteningly sweet voice. She would saw straight through her plate if she kept it up.

A crash came from the kitchen.

Glimmer practically jumped out of her seat. “Bow, you okay?”

“All good!” he called.

Glimmer sighed as she sat down again. She was looking straight through the food on her plate. 

Catra leaned back in her chair, one leg thrown over the other, hands stacked over her thigh. She was backing off, though she examined Glimmer carefully.

“My bad, Sparkles,” Catra said. It sounded completely genuine.

“You couldn't have known,” Glimmer said quickly. “...Sorry about the pot roast.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

What?

Had Adora missed something?

“Well, I guess you’re both excused,” Glimmer said. “We-- _I_ have a dishwasher to run.”

Adora watched as her plate was cleared. “Okay...”

Catra was already up, but she was heading for the front door.

Great. Disaster first date accomplished. Not for any reason Adora could have predicted, but still. Catra would definitely ghost her after this. And Adora wouldn’t hold it against her.

***

Catra could have smacked herself. What was she thinking? Between the inappropriate jokes tumbling out of her mouth, completely neglecting to eat the main course, and calling attention to the apparently very sensitive subject of Bow and Glimmer’s lack of a relationship, she’d more than tanked that dinner. Catra slipped into self-sabotage like it was her favorite pair of sweatpants.

She was already kneeling to pull her boots on when Adora swept up next to her.

“Do you need to head home?” Adora asked.

“If your friends didn’t hate me before, they do now,” Catra explained. “Tell them the mac and cheese was good, though.”

“It’s Bow’s family recipe. His dads make it every time they come over.”

That was when it hit Catra - she’d been completely deluding herself. Here was Adora, with her perfect life and amazing friends who invited their dads over and cared enough to worry about who she was dating. Their found family had enough good memories between them that they had to pick and choose which ones to plaster on the walls.

What could Catra possibly give her?

“Catra?”

She looked up from her untied boot. “What’s up?”

Adora shifted. She looked like she was searching for words, probably to let Catra down gently. Of course it would be _kind_. One last, tender sucker punch from the girl who could do no wrong.

Catra tucked her laces into her boots and stood. She’d rather risk tripping than wait around for Adora to stop avoiding whatever she was obviously thinking so hard about. If she left first, she’d save them both the trouble.

“See you around, Adora,” Catra said, turning to the door.

As she reached for the handle, a calloused hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Wait,” Adora blurted out.

Catra shot a confused glance in her direction, but it dissipated when she saw the look on Adora’s face, eager and open and incomprehensibly hopeful.

“Do you want to see my room?” Adora asked. Her gaze flickered down to their hands.

Whatever Catra did, she’d get hurt. On the one hand, she could walk out the door and pray that no ghastly emotions followed her home. What kind of idiot would she be if she caught real feelings for a random locker room hookup?

There was the second option - but that was a bad idea. A terrible idea, really. There was a good chance Adora wouldn’t reach out again, and Catra couldn’t blame her. Who would want to be reminded of such a disaster of a first date? What a mess.

The hand squeezed her wrist just slightly, and Catra decided that it was better to go out with fireworks.

Of course, the blanket on Adora’s bed was way too soft.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of the supportive, encouraging comments so far. i appreciate each and every one of them and also each and every one of u <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my darlings <3 
> 
> we're back with another installment of whatever's going on here: this week, dumb jocks learn a thing or two about ~emotions~

There were worse ways to end a first date than in a girl’s lap.

Adora sat on her bed with her legs outstretched, Catra’s knees flanking her thighs. They hadn’t even bothered to undress fully, though Catra had managed to chuck that infuriating muscle tank across the room before Adora’s fingers completely obliterated her ability to focus. The skinny jeans Catra had worn to dinner (unripped ones, even) hadn’t deterred Adora one bit. In fact, the challenge of working past the tight fabric only seemed to motivate her more. Catra had enthusiastically rewarded her determination.

All sense of time had faded from Catra’s mind. For all she knew, they could’ve been kissing for hours now, and she’d very happily continue for as long as she was allowed. At least that way they could avoid the dreaded dinner debrief for a little bit longer.

Welcome flashes played on a loop in her mind: her mouth on Adora’s chest, trailing lower; strong muscle shivering under her fingers; her shirt catching on Adora’s Fitbit, sparking one of the sweetest giggles she’d ever heard.

Catra couldn’t help but search for other sounds Adora could make - and her teeth just kept finding their way back to the sensitive skin of Adora’s neck.

Adora drew in a sharp breath. She slid a protective hand between her new, tender bruise and Catra’s lips. “I think you’ve made your point,” she laughed.

“Mm, sorry,” Catra said, leaving one last kiss on Adora’s fingers.

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re right.”

“To be clear, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Catra let out a low chuckle. “I can’t believe you actually begged me to bite you again. What do you spend more on: concealer or protein powder?”

Adora gave a shy shrug, and Catra had to stop herself from kissing the warm blush on her cheeks.

“Are you embarrassed?” Catra asked.

“No, I--maybe. Just a little.”

“Don’t be.” Catra shifted, letting her hips roll over Adora’s laps with intent. “It’s hot when you say what you want.”

Adora ran her hands up Catra’s bare back.

It did nothing in terms of bringing her back to a normal plane of existence.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, I’m up for round three,” Catra answered.

“Not that. But noted,” Adora said, a content smile taking shape. She was still coming back down, too, her eyelids heavy, hands relaxed over the back pockets of Catra’s jeans. “Did you have an okay time tonight?” she asked.

Catra snorted a laugh. _Okay?_ Her legs were still shaking, and it wasn't just from the way she was sitting. “Was it not obvious enough? I can scream next time if you want.”

“I’m sure my roommates would love that,” Adora joked. “But I meant at dinner.”

She dipped her head lower. Her lips pressed against Catra’s sternum, following the line of her bralette up to her collarbone (yeah, it was a little lacier than what she normally wore - maybe she hadn’t expected anything to happen, but she wasn’t going to come unprepared). Catra hummed at the warmth flaring in her ribcage as Adora’s rather mischievous tongue traced across the freckles spattering her neck.

“Well?” Adora asked.

“Sorry, am I supposed to focus when you’re doing that?”

As Adora put space between their bodies, Catra watched the haze lift from her eyes.

Oh. She actually gave a shit about this conversation.

“Yeah, it was fun or whatever,” Catra tried. She nearly got away with distracting Adora again, but--

“Catra, you don’t have to lie to me.”

Maybe that simple sentence shouldn’t have felt like getting hit in the chest with a frying pan. But it did, and Catra had to take a moment to remember the importance of breathing before as she turned it over in her mind. She’d kept previous relationships alive long past their expiration dates by doing just that, telling people what they wanted to hear and using it to get what she wanted. Transactions. Wasn’t that what people meant when they said these things were based on 'give-and-take?'

Then again, Catra reminded herself, this wasn’t a relationship. It was...undefined. Barely formed. 

Whatever it turned out to be, why should her old attitudes have to apply?

She took a deep inhale, considering, before: “Fine. It was seriously awkward. And pot roast sucks.”

Adora scrunched her face up. “Sorry I didn’t tell them about the vegetarian thing.”

“How could you? You didn’t even know, dumbass,” Catra said fondly. She dismissed Adora’s guilt with a quick kiss. “I mean, seriously though. Nobody’s favorite food is pot roast. It’s so boring. Just meat and other stuff cooked for a really long time until it all tastes the same and falls apart. ”

That earned her a laugh. “You’re funny.”

“I’m hilarious. You’re just noticing?” Ego adequately satisfied, Catra wrapped her arms around Adora’s neck, drawing her closer in the hopes of getting back to the part with less talking. But Adora, ever persistent and terrible at taking hints, pressed on.

“So what happened with you and Glimmer?”

With a sigh, Catra backed off, though she kept her fingers intertwined behind Adora’s neck, thumbs stroking light circles into tense muscles. Adora really needed to relax more often (and probably in some less physically strenuous ways, but Catra wasn’t about to discourage her new favorite activity if Adora didn't object to it).

“What can I say? Instant sparks,” Catra deadpanned.

“Clearly,” Adora snorted.

“People love a good enemies-to-lovers story.”

“Hm. Should I be worried?”

Catra couldn’t even fathom what that might have meant. “Weren’t you in the middle of asking me something?”

“Right. Well, you brought up her and Bow being...you know, together, and they’re not, and it got weird, but then it got even weirder. I’ve never seen Glimmer stop arguing with someone so fast. How’d you do that?”

Catra had barely known Bow and Glimmer for a day, but it was obvious that there was something more than platonic tension between them. Both of their reactions to her suggestion that they might be together were dead giveaways. Glimmer’s hard-line denial, Bow’s flight of panic. Considering the long and intimate-on-some-deep-level history narrated by the many photos on their walls, Catra could guess that they’d known each other a long time, and for some reason neither had come forward about their feelings.

Did Adora even realize what was going on with her friends? Was she seriously that oblivious? Or was she one of those lucky hot people with a great personality who’d never lived through the mortifying experience of being into somebody and not knowing if they felt the same? 

“Your roommates are so in love with each other it’s gross, but they’re both too scared to make a move.” Catra paused, gauging Adora’s reaction. It didn’t seem to be an entirely outlandish concept to her.

“Yeah. I have no idea how to talk to them about it. I'm pretty sure all of our friends have picked up on it at this point.” One of Adora’s hands slipped into Catra’s back pocket absently. Conversation became a very distant concept.

“An--anyway, uh.” Catra shifted. It made her realize that her left leg was dead asleep. Damn jeans. “Sparkles totally froze up. It was already embarrassing. What was I gonna do, make fun of her more? I’m not a total asshole.”

Adora scoffed. “I know that, Catra.”

“Pretty sure your concealer budget would disagree.”

Adora shook her head, dismissive. “You’re way nicer than you look.”

Catra put on a scowl. “Are you saying I don’t look nice?”

“No, that’s--that’s not what I meant,” Adora struggled.

“Adora. I’m just messing with you. Relax,” Catra invited.

She finally brought their lips together again. 

Adora’s next words slipped out between lazy, uncoordinated kisses. “Can I make it up to you?”

“Absolutely,” Catra said, moving to dismount from Adora’s lap.

But Adora’s hands landed on top of her thighs, anchoring her gently (always so gently). “I mean - round three, yes, absolutely - but maybe we could go out for an actual dinner?”

Catra waited a moment, giving Adora time to backtrack. When she didn’t, Catra sidestepped with her own question. “If tonight wasn’t an actual dinner, what the hell did I just eat?”

Adora raised an eyebrow, and that stupid-looking smirk was back. “I don’t know, Catra. What _did_ you just--”

“Shut up.”

If Adora’s stupid face didn’t stop Catra’s heart, her breezy laugh might very well finish the job.

“So?” Adora asked, her nervous, earnest expression making Catra’s heart do an absolutely unauthorized flip. “The Cheesecake Factory has a really good vegetarian menu. A couple of our friends work there, and one's a manager. They could get us in without a reservation, even on a Friday night.”

“I do love showing up places unannounced,” Catra mused. “Fine. But only if they get us one of those giant booths.”

“Catra, those are for parties of ten.”

“I need space to stretch out.” To illustrate her point, she laid down and extended her legs across Adora’s lap, her head landing just short of the pillows.

“So, next Friday?”

All traces of that annoying smirk were gone. The eagerness so plainly painted on Adora’s face startled Catra, and she found it very hard to hold eye contact.

Plus, her jeans were getting really uncomfortable. She wriggled her way out of them, getting them down past her knees before stretching her legs all the way out again.

Now that Adora was looking pleasantly shocked instead of...whatever, Catra had happily reclaimed the upper hand. “Take care of those, will you?”

Catra’s jeans disappeared somewhere past the foot of the bed, and then Adora was crawling up to meet her. One of Catra’s legs wrapped around Adora’s waist, encouraging her course, and Adora’s hand trailed down her hip and past her knee.

“I like that you don’t shave or anything,” Adora muttered.

Before Catra could interrogate the way her heart clenched, Adora pressed up to a solid plank position. Such a jock.

“Was that a weird thing to say? I’m sorry.”

Catra found herself experiencing much the same reaction she’d seen Glimmer go through at dinner - for very, very different reasons.

She had no clue what to say. A single haphazard compliment about something so simple had her frozen, staring up at Adora’s quickly reddening face and stammering against the simplest of syllables.

“No one’s...ever said that before,” Catra finally answered.

“Well, yeah, because it’s a _weird thing to say_ \--”

“It’s not, Adora,” Catra interrupted. She pulled Adora down into a kiss - feverish at first, then melting. “It’s nice. Really nice, actually.”

Adora released an exhale. “Oh.”

Catra might’ve broken if she’d let Adora say another word. Fortunately, Adora’s mouth was otherwise occupied after that.

***

Later, Adora thoughtfully admitted that she only shaved her legs because it made her feel like a dolphin. Catra threw a pillow at her face.

***

First dates generally didn’t go until almost midnight, but nothing about the time Adora had spent with Catra so far could be described as normal.

After walking Catra out, Adora went back down to the kitchen. And that was when she discovered that her roommates’ reaction to the situation was also diametrically opposed to normal.

Bow and Glimmer were standing around the island counter, talking in frantic whispers and eating leftover mac and cheese straight out of a big, square, plastic tub.

When Glimmer saw Adora, she stabbed her fork into the cold pasta. “Finally!” 

“Did you guys wait up for me?” Adora asked.

“Yes,” Bow answered matter-of-factly.

“We didn’t even leave the house.”

Bow’s voice was kind, but stern. “Glimmer and I need to talk to you.”

Adora circled the counter and went for the fridge. She could have sworn she had at least one pre-made smoothie left, but tragically that was not the case. Feeling her friends’ eyes boring into her back, she took extra time to search the shelves for the strawberries. She wasn’t sure where they were going with this, but their rigid postures told her that it wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.

“Does it have to be right now?” Adora asked, snapping a slightly underripe banana off from the bunch. “I’m kinda tired.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Glimmer said. “Sounded like quite the triathlon.”

Adora froze. Oh, no. That’s what this was about? How loud had they been?

She couldn’t turn around - she could only imagine what her friends’ faces might look like.

“That’s not what we wanted to bring up,” Bow said quickly. “Though we should probably lay down some ground rules about noise at some point, too.”

“Guys, I am _so_ sorry--”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Glimmer broke in, her impatience sharp.

Tearing underripe bananas into tiny, fibrous pieces turned out to be a pretty effective way for Adora to channel her anxiety. She packed the banana bits into a tall glass with a handful of strawberries, a splash of milk, and a scoop of whey powder. If she _reeeeeeally_ took her time making this smoothie, maybe they’d get bored and let it rest, at least until the next morning.

“Adora, we’re worried about you,” Glimmer pressed.

Nope. Of course they wouldn’t wait.

Adora let out a laugh, deflecting. “I’m worried about me, too. I almost missed my protein goal for today. Thank goodness for whey powder, am I right?” She popped the glass onto the blender.

Bow took a deep breath and spoke slowly. “We’re afraid you might be doing that thing--”

_WHIRRRRRRRR._

“--Where you charge in headfirst--”

_WHIRRRRRRRR._

“--Without really thinking--”

_WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR--_

Glimmer pushed her way to the blender and twisted the glass off. “Would you stop doing that?!”

Adora stole the glass back and snapped. “Look. I tried to take Catra out for a normal first date. You guys are the ones who made that impossible!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She kind of has a point, Glimmer,” Bow interjected. “We were being a little overprotective.”

Glimmer crossed her arms. “I think it was a completely reasonable level of protective.”

Adora’s temper flared as she smacked her glass down onto the counter. “Why did you even invite her over? Either she was gonna look like a jerk for saying no, or--this!”

“Why don’t we talk more in the morning?” Bow suggested. “We’re all tired.”

But Glimmer wasn’t letting up anytime soon. “And what was so bad about _this_ , Adora? Were you worried we’d find out that she’s, oh, I don’t know, obnoxiously irresponsible, rude, and tactless?”

Adora threw her hands in the air and nearly knocked over her smoothie. “It was way too soon! You know that.”

“Too soon to meet your friends or too soon to hook up in a public locker room?”

“Are you ever gonna let that go?”

“Some of us actually bother getting to know people first.”

“Well, some of us don’t spend twenty years getting to know people and being too scared to do anything about it!”

Adora clapped a hand over her mouth as soon as she said it. She’d known that something was going on between her roommates for a long time - she wasn’t totally dense - but she’d never said anything about it before.

She'd started to suspect it a few years ago, even before they'd all moved in together. As frustrating as it could be to watch her friends dance around each other, it wasn't her place to rush them. Bow took his time with everything, always careful and thoughtful. Glimmer had been his best friend since preschool, and he wouldn’t dive headfirst into something unless he knew for sure that she felt the same. Unfortunately, Glimmer was both too proud and too insecure about how Bow might feel to admit her own feelings.

It was a vicious circle of caution and uncertainty. And Adora had just blown a gaping hole in it.

Bow turned his back to the kitchen, the rise and fall of his shoulders steady and controlled. “Goodnight, everyone,” he said with finality.

Glimmer dared to look over her shoulder at him, and he caught her eye for a fleeting moment before shuffling out of the room and down the hall towards the stairs. They had their own language that Adora didn’t fully understand, but there was no way that could have been a pleasant, happy exchange.

Once he was gone, Adora reached out. “Glimmer, I’m--”

Glimmer dodged her hand.

Clearly, the whole incident at dinner had upset her more than she’d let on. Now that Bow was gone, she couldn’t seem to hide how shaken up she really was.

Her voice wavered and cracked as she spoke. “I’m sorry, Adora. We screwed up. _I_ screwed up. But can you really blame us? You met this girl yesterday and you’re already acting like a completely different person. Sure, you’ve gotten rowdy at the gym before, but yesterday went way, way overboard.”

The perspective settled heavy on Adora’s chest. She had been impulsive in the locker room, yes - but by her own emotions, it didn’t feel like she’d done something wrong.

When she’d challenged Catra to spar with her, maybe she’d simply been looking to blow off steam. But from that first conversation, she’d been drawn in by Catra’s...everything. There were the obvious points: her eyes, bright and intense, sparkling but guarded. Her voice, rough and velvet-smooth all at once. The way she moved, like she was made of water and fire twined together. She was unpredictable and surprising, but Adora had never felt anything but safe with her. Everything about her was a beautiful paradox that Adora desperately wanted to unravel.

How could she explain all of that to Glimmer without sounding totally delusional?

She took a breath and launched in.

“I'm sorry I got us banned from the gym--”

“Technically, you’re the only one who’s banned,” Glimmer pointed out.

Okay. Rough start.

Glimmer went on, “But Bow and I agreed that we’d miss you too much if we didn’t find a new gym along with you. Between all of our weird job schedules, we hardly see each other outside of weekend dinners and workouts. We don’t want to lose out on time with you because you made one mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” Adora said decisively.

Glimmer opened her mouth to argue again.

Adora cut her off. “Please. Just listen to me.”

“Fine. Okay.”

“I know that what we did was reckless and kind of stupid, but it was _not_ a mistake. Catra, she’s...”

“She’s what?” Glimmer prompted, sword sheathed in light of Adora’s sudden conviction.

“I feel comfortable with her.”

“Maybe a little too comfortable,” Glimmer murmured. At the glare Adora shot her, she added, “Sorry. Listening. Please continue.”

Adora leaned back against the counter. “I don’t know. It’s like I can just be myself around her.”

Notes of concern and mild panic colored Glimmer’s voice. “Do you not usually feel like that?”

“Not with dating or anything like that. I’ve always felt like I have to keep impressing whoever I’m seeing. Like they’ll get bored of me if I’m not always doing something new and shiny and cool that they can brag about. It’s easy to hide behind medals and small talk, but I always feel like if I say one wrong thing, they’ll--”

Adora paused to swallow back the tightness in her throat.

“--They’ll realize I’m just me and...that won't be enough.”

Glimmer joined her by the counter, leaning back against the fridge. “And you’re saying that’s different with Catra.”

“I think so. Yes, it is,” Adora corrected firmly. “She actually cares about what I want and what I’m feeling. She asks. And she listens. It’s like everything I say is important to her. Usually I’m the one worrying about that stuff.”

Glimmer was quiet. Whether she was waiting for her friend to keep talking or carefully constructing her own response, Adora couldn’t tell.

So Adora went on. “I know you and Bow are just watching out for me, and I love you guys for it. But I don't regret what I did yesterday, and I don't regret asking Catra out. I need you to trust me.”

A long moment passed in silence before Glimmer responded.

“You deserve someone who makes you feel like you matter. Not because of your accomplishments, but because you’re a kind, genuine, and amazing person. If this thing with Catra is what you really want, then you should go for it. I promise we won’t get in your way again.” Glimmer took one of Adora’s hands and held her gaze. “Just be careful, Adora. Please. It’s so easy to get your heart broken without even realizing it’s happening.”

Adora nodded. “Thanks, Glimmer.”

With that, Glimmer left the kitchen and went to sit at the dining table with only cold mac and cheese for company.

Still determined to drink this smoothie, Adora screwed her glass back onto the blender.

With an alarmingly sloppy, final _WHIRRRRRR_ , the contents of the glass exploded out between the loosened seal.

Great. That totally wasn’t a bad sign, right?

***

Apparently Scorpia and Perfuma were tits-deep in doughnut holes, and Catra wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

Thanks to a very on-brand courtesy text from Scorpia about an “out-of-this-world baking extravaganza” happening in their apartment’s kitchen, Catra had the entire drive home to come up with a strategy not to engage. She was not going to let the world’s most sickeningly sweet couple wreck her mood. At most, she’d stop to steal one doughnut hole. Maybe two. Then she was going straight to her room.

As she turned the key in the lock, she could already hear delighted, carefree giggling from behind the door.

The kitchen was a war zone. Flour on every visible surface. Bowls on bowls on bowls of different doughs, icings, and toppings, all dyed different colors.

Sprinkles.

Everywhere.

Scorpia and Perfuma would definitely end up leaving the kitchen cleaner than they found it, but it was still a jarring sight.

“Catra!” Scorpia greeted her. “Great news. You’re just in time to try Perfuma’s chocolate ganache-matcha combo. Matchocolate? Chocolate gamatcha? We can workshop the name. I promise it’s the best thing you’ll ever put in your mouth.”

Nah. That one was way too easy. 

Before Catra could make her daring escape, Perfuma swept into her space, hands clasped just under her chin. “How was your date? We are all ears if you want to talk about it.”

“No thanks,” Catra said. She tried to step aside, but Perfuma blocked her path by reaching to grab a greenish doughnut.

“Try this,” she said, offering the perfect little chocolate-dipped sphere. The mound of purple sprinkles on the dark chocolate ganache topping made Catra hesitate.

Scorpia leaned across the counter. “That’s from the first batch. Sorry about the décor. I was a little heavy-handed with the nonpareils.”

“Not at all, sweetheart. They look beautiful,” Perfuma said.

“Aww, thanks, honey!”

“You got a little flour riiiight...there.” Perfuma swiped her thumb across Scorpia’s cheek.

“What! How did that get there?”

The giggling resumed.

This was exactly the kind of sugar-coated nonsense Catra had hoped to avoid.

Realistically, though, the cutesy display wasn’t enough reason to turn down a fresh, homemade doughnut. This whole matchocolate thing was surprisingly good.

Unfortunately, Catra's moment of weakness gave Scorpia a wide open opportunity.

“Come on, Wildcat. You were out for six hours. There’s gotta be something worth telling. I mean, I assume you were at dinner that whole time. Can’t let those unlimited breadsticks go to waste! But next time, maybe, just shoot me a quick text around hour three or four to let me know your date didn't turn out to be some crazy axe murderer.”

Catra glared. Great. Now she felt guilty.

Scorpia had the nerve to keep talking after Catra’s death stare. “I know, I know. You can handle yourself. I’m sure Adora was a perfect gentlelady.”

Perfuma gasped. “Catra! You went out with Adora?”

“Not technically. We didn’t actually go anywhere.” As much as Catra hated to admit it, Perfuma’s reaction had piqued her interest. “What? You know her or something?”

“Of course! We used to ride horses together. She has a picture from our first competition on her wall.”

Nothing had ever made more sense than the image of baby jock Adora and nature freak Perfuma bonding over their mutual love of horses.

“Scorpia,” Perfuma said, turning to the iron chef in the lime green apron. “How come you didn’t tell me that our friends were going on a date?”

“I didn’t? Huh,” Scorpia said, scratching the back of her neck. “Weird. You know, I must have gotten distracted thinking about something else. Like these doughnuts, probably. Yeah, that sounds right.”

Perfuma narrowed her eyes. “Wait a minute. Is this the same girl she...at the gym?”

“Ah, yeah. That’s the one.”

“Ohhh. That’s why you didn’t mention Adora,” Perfuma chuckled. “Don’t worry, Catra. I’m not judging.” She stepped over to the deep pot of oil on the stove and fished a couple of fresh doughnuts out.

Catra sighed. “Scorpia, seriously?”

“Hey,” Scorpia started, “I know I’m notoriously excellent at keeping secrets, but you can’t expect me not to tell Perfuma. And Lonnie. And maybe also Kyle and Rogelio.”

"Kyle? As in Kyle who banned me from the gym?"

"He's got a thing going on with Lonnie and Rogelio. Oh, shoot. I wasn't supposed to mention that."

“Scorpia!”

“You never said it was a secret! And Adora’s friends already knew. Since, you know, they were there. Like I said, not listening. Did not hear a thing.”

Most of what Scorpia was saying was true, but Catra wasn’t going to admit it. Instead, she popped a naked, blue doughnut hole into her mouth - and immediately regretted it.

“Oops,” Scorpia said, “those ones just came right outta the fryer. Ouch.”

Catra’s eyes watered as she resisted the urge to spit the hot dough ball straight onto the floor. It burned, but it was still delicious. Not worth wasting it. Finally, she choked it down, feeling it all the way down her throat until it dropped to her stomach.

Perfuma came over and patted her back like the mom friend she was.

“Hmm,” Catra grunted, recovering.

“Will you tell us about your date now?” Perfuma stage-whispered excitedly.

Behind her, Scorpia grinned expectantly.

Catra shrugged Perfuma’s hand off. “Whatever. It wasn’t a big deal.”

For some reason, that made Perfuma’s smile turn gravely serious. “Catra. I know you have a hard time talking about your emotions, but I think it’s really important that you don’t just brush this off.”

Catra felt the doughnut hole in her stomach jump. “It’s just a casual thing. Hang on, why am I even talking to you about this?”

“Maybe because you actually, secretly, really, really do want to talk about it,” Scorpia offered.

“And you just don’t know how,” Perfuma tacked on.

God, they were an irritating team.

Perfuma trapped one of Catra’s hands with a surprisingly firm grip. “Catra,” she began, practically stepping onto a soapbox, “I’ve been friends with Adora for a long time, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that ‘casual’ isn’t a big part of her vocabulary. She’s very focused and intense. And those can be very appealing traits.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. Horsegirl Number Two had definitely had a crush on Horsegirl Number One at some point.

“But she can be...a little reckless. And I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

Catra snatched her hand back. “You think I want that?” she snarled.

“Whoa, there, Wildcat,” Scorpia said, stepping over to them. “That’s not what she’s saying.”

Perfuma didn’t look discouraged by Catra’s defensiveness. In fact, she seemed even more determined to make her point than before.

Catra braced herself for the imminent monologue.

Perfuma smiled kindly. “I’m not accusing you of anything, Catra. We all have to be respectful of other people’s histories and experiences when we’re connecting with them on a deeper level. But we also have to be respectful of our own. Relationships, whether they’re casual or serious, take time and effort. We owe it to ourselves and to whoever we’re with. It’s easy to convince ourselves that we want one thing when we’re really just scared of what might happen if we just put it all out there and ask for more. I know it’s hard to keep your heart open.” She looped an arm around one of Scorpia’s. “But it can be so worth it.”

Catra looked between them.

The doughnut hole must have climbed its way up her throat and settled itself as a lump at the back of her tongue - the unpleasant feeling had nothing to do with Perfuma’s dumb, emotional speech.

Not trusting her half-baked snarky comeback to hold its shape, Catra settled for stealing a healthy handful of doughnut holes and beelining to her room.

***

Adora knew that there were “rules” around texting, but she didn’t really understand why. What was the point of waiting two hours to respond to someone’s message if you saw it right away and had time to reply? She spent a week grappling with proper texting protocol each time her phone pinged with a message from Catra. Her immediate thought each time could best be described as “!!!” - but then she remembered. Wait. Sometimes she heard Glimmer’s voice on top of that telling her to calm down and take it slow, and that usually prompted Adora to go ahead and do exactly the opposite.

By Thursday, after a few less heated conversations with her roommates, she decided that the only rules she was going to follow were her own. So when Catra texted to confirm their dinner plans the next night, Adora responded immediately with an enthusiastic string of emojis. Alright, maybe it had been too much, but so what? She wasn’t going to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. That was the worst thing she could possibly do. If Catra got eventually overwhelmed and wasn’t into it anymore, Adora could accept that. She’d be sad, but she would understand. She would always respect whatever boundaries Catra set, and so far Catra hadn’t laid down any two-hour-text-back rule. 

When Adora arrived at the restaurant on Friday night, she did worry that she’d taken her commitment to following her own gut instinct to a mild extreme. She’d seen parties in full black tie garb sitting across from groups in shorts and flip-flops here before, so it seemed there was no real consensus on the classiness quotient of the Cheesecake Factory. Tacit lack of a dress code aside, she still worried she might have skewed too fancy for the occasion.

While figuring out what to wear, she’d settled on a sleeveless, red dress. It showed off her arms, which was always a plus, but now Adora was wondering if it was overkill. She tried to make it a little more casual by tying the long skirt up into a simple knot at her hip. A more breezy, summery look. She hoped.

Seahawk was manning the bar. He usually got stationed there on weekends by his manager, which he believed was because of his ability to make scintillating conversation with any customer. In reality, Mermista had discovered that Seahawk’s particular brand of “charm” had the ability to keep bar table turnover rates extremely high. People who came in just to drink while he was working generally made their purchases and cleared out fast. The restaurant sold more eight-dollar beverages on Seahawk’s shifts than any other night. Weekends only maximized his effectiveness.

Mermista was lingering by the bar. She was making it look like she was just an off-duty manager taking her time finishing a drink, but Adora knew better. Bow and Glimmer talked a lot about how these two had the strangest relationship, and it never failed to make Adora laugh when she saw Mermista trying to act all casual and disinterested despite the fact that she’d officially been with Seahawk for well over five years.

“Hi, guys,” Adora said.

Seahawk gestured grandly, extending a hand towards the sky. “Adora! Welcome to our most humble dining establishment.”

Mermista greeted her with a low whistle. Still, her voice maintained its signature flat affect. “Damn. Are you planning on proposing or something?”

“What?” Adora looked down at her dress. “Is it too much?”

“Nonsense!” Seahawk exclaimed. “One can never be ‘too much.’ Myself, for example. If I had dialed down my radiant charms, how would the beautiful Mermista have discovered that my true colors were so perfectly complementary to her own?”

Mermista groaned. “Why are you like this?”

“She adores me,” Seahawk whispered gleefully to Adora. “Her shift ended two hours ago and yet, here she stands.”

Mermista slapped her hand on the counter. “He is _just_ my ride, okay?”

“Whatever you say, dearest.” He winked and went to wipe down the counter.

“Okay,” Mermista said, turning back to Adora. “We’re gonna need to fix this, like, now. What is this leg situation?” She pointed to the knot Adora had tied up.

“I don’t know. I have no idea what I’m doing,” Adora said. She untied the knot and let the skirt fall.

Mermista put a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “You seriously need to chill. The fuck. Out. I’ve been your wingwoman, like, a thousand times, and you are never this much of a mess.”

“I’m nervous,” Adora admitted, wiping her sweaty palms on her dress. “What if it’s awkward now? What if we have no idea how to talk about normal things?”

“What do you guys usually talk about?”

“...You know.”

“Uh, I don’t. That’s why I asked.”

Adora felt her face heat up. “Mostly, we just make out and stuff.”

“What? If you guys already hooked up, you have literally no reason to be freaking out right now. I don’t get why...” Mermista’s eyes were suddenly the size of Cheesecake Factory dinner plates. “Oh my god. Is this gym girl?”

“Okay, did Glimmer just tell everyone about that?”

“Actually, Bow texted me.”

“Bow?!”

Mermista snickered. She took a sip of her drink - and promptly spat it out.

She was staring at something, unblinking. And...was she blushing?

“What?”

“Uh...” She pointed behind Adora.

Adora turned around. For a second, she thought Mermista was just lusting after the cheesecake display, but then she looked past the glass case to the entrance.

The hostess was talking to a woman in a rich, maroon suit. Her fitted jacket was open, and the undone tie around her neck drew far too much attention to the way her bright pink shirt was unbuttoned past her collarbone. Up to the messy ponytail, Catra was a perfect storm of intentional dishevelment. It was obnoxious. It was over-the-top. And it was hot as hell.

“Is that her?” Mermista asked.

She seemed to have recovered, but it was Adora’s turn to forget how words worked. All she could do was nod.

“Alright, never mind. You’re both super extra and this date can literally only go perfectly.”

Catra scanned the room and caught Adora’s eye. Her smile was everything - adorable, sinful, beautiful.

Without looking away, Adora grabbed Mermista's half-full drink and downed it.

“Wish me luck,” she said.

“Girl, you do _not_ need it.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you thank you thank you for the absolutely BONKERS amount of support this has gotten. reading your comments is an absolute delight. 
> 
> also, please know that i love each and every one of you very much. i hope you're all taking care of yourselves, staying safe, and helping to make the world a better place in whatever ways you can. 
> 
> until next time, my sweet potatoes <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everhaunting: AU where Seahawk works at the Cheesecake Factory 
> 
> me: that's canon

Mermista managed to secure them a reasonably-sized corner booth in the bar area, which would have been wonderfully romantic if Adora had remembered to wear her glasses. She flipped through the pages of her menu, hopelessly squinting in the dim atmosphere of the restaurant. How was anybody supposed to read 20 pages of excruciatingly tiny font when the lights were barely on?

“What the hell is a ‘glamburger?’” Catra muttered.

“I’m guessing not vegetarian,” Adora said.

Seahawk stood at the end of their table, having asserted himself as their waiter for the evening despite the fact that his shift was supposed to be ending. “The glamburger is nothing less than the Cheesecake Factory’s signature dish.”

“It's not cheesecake?” Catra asked. “This thing is a thousand pages but there's only one signature dish?”

Seahawk cleared his throat and pointed at something on the menu. “May I recommend our vegetarian mushroom glamburger?”

Catra wrinkled her nose. “Gross. No, you may not.”

“Recommendation rescinded.”

Adora gave up on trying to scrutinize the salad section. “Seahawk, can I just get--”

“The carbonara? Extra bacon?” He interrupted.

“That’d be great.”

“Haven’t touched a notepad in years.” He tapped his temple. “Like a steel trap.”

“Rusted and missing a screw?” Mermista said, sauntering up to their table with two drinks in hand. Each one looked like a sunset in a glass, which also would have been super romantic if Adora couldn’t already feel her stomach doing flips. Alcohol might not be the best thing...

The supposedly off-duty manager placed the drinks on the table. “So, these are on the house, and by on the house I mean they’re coming out of Seahawk’s tips.”

Seahawk chuckled. “Mermista, dear. We share a bank account.”

“Whatever.”

Normally, Adora would find their banter amusing, but other things were demanding her complete and total attention.

She definitely hadn’t regained her footing since seeing her date walk in wearing that suit, and her confidence had already been about as firm as a sweaty handshake. Across the table, Catra was staring purposefully into her menu and chewing on the edge of her bottom lip. Seahawk had swept them over to their table so quickly that they’d barely had time to greet each other, but Catra had still been unusually quiet. Not a single teasing jab or witty comment so far. Did she even want to be here?

Maybe Glimmer was right.

Suddenly, Seahawk was in Adora’s field of view, leaning over their table and propping his chin in his hand. Catra recoiled, scowling at the intrusion.

“And for the lady in the dashing dinner wear?” he asked.

“How about you surprise me?” Catra answered, shoving her menu into his chest.

“Ah, I’m afraid--” Seahawk’s voice cracked. “I’m afraid that is against Cheesecake Factory policy.”

“Just give me whatever has the most cheese.”

“Seven-cheese pasta it shall be! To the kitchen!”

He grabbed Adora’s menu and strutted off.

Catra frowned as she watched him leave.

“Sorry about Seahawk. He’s kind of an acquired taste,” Adora explained.

Catra let out a soft grunt. Or was that a laugh? Adora couldn’t tell. Was she reading too much into it? Probably. But maybe not.

God, Catra looked incredible. Adora couldn’t even begin to process it, let alone generate a coherent compliment. How was she even here, on a date, with the most attractive person she’d ever met? It didn’t seem possible. Nothing could have prepared her for any of this, and it certainly wouldn’t help her nerves to do that thing everyone always suggested and picture Catra naked. Yeah, that was a bad idea. And Adora was definitely accidentally doing it.

Why was Catra just...looking at her?

Was she gonna say anything?

Should Adora say something?

“How’s work at the grocery store?” Adora tried.

“Fine. Boring. My boss is a dick.”

“Hah. Yeah...”

Adora didn’t do well with long stretches of quiet. She gulped down a mouthful of her drink.

Catra mirrored her, holding eye contact, though the sip she took was much more dignified. She turned and put her legs up on her bench. “Nice place.”

“You’ve never been here before?”

“I think ‘glamburger’ would have stuck with me.”

“For sure,” Adora laughed nervously.

What else? They could discuss the menu. That would fill an hour, easy. No, that was a terrible idea...

Catra crossed her legs and took in the minimal scenery.

For a Friday, it wasn’t particularly busy - which meant there was no public chatter to fill the space. The din from the kitchen on the other side of the restaurant offered little shield against the massive silence. Being able to hear her own deafening anxiety threw Adora off (not that she’d been on at all so far).

Oh, no.

This was somehow even more awkward than she’d anticipated.

She blew out a slow breath, wracking her brain for normal date conversation topics. She came up empty. Menus would have to do.

“I wish he hadn’t taken those menus away. They would’ve been great reading material if we got bored,” Adora said.

Catra’s face was unreadable. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced back. “Yeah. Sure.”

Shit. Dammit. Why did she say that? Obviously it sounded bad.

“Not that you’re boring,” Adora said quickly. “I’m not bored.”

Catra didn’t looked convinced.

Adora blanked completely.

“Do you wanna go make out?” she blurted.

Catra's eyes went wide. “Right now?”

“Um...”

Alright. Maybe Adora just couldn’t be normal. Maybe this was, in fact, an even bigger disaster than last week’s dinner.

Suddenly, Catra swung her legs off the bench and peeked around the booth.

“Are you leaving?” Adora asked, panic rising again.

“I was looking for the bathroom,” Catra said slowly. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No!” Adora exclaimed.

She shifted, forcing the tension from her body. Her hands settled on the table in front of her.

“Why is this so weird?” she said in a stage whisper.

Catra ran a hand back over her ponytail, twisting the end of it around her finger. “For a second I thought I was the only one who noticed.”

Okay. This was a start. At least they were both on the same page, even if it was a rather unpleasant part of the story to absorb.

Adora bit her lip. She might as well focus on what was right there in front of her. “You look really great,” she finally said.

“Yeah, you too,” Catra replied. “That dress is...” she trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief as her eyes stayed on Adora. “Yeah, you look hot.”

Adora snorted. “Careful. I might start to think you actually like me.” If she couldn’t think of her own stuff to say, why not just use Catra’s own lines against her? It was a sparring technique Adora was very familiar with: figure out how to use your opponent’s strengths to your own advantage.

A subtle twinkle appeared in Catra’s eye, and Adora took it as a good sign. “Pretty sure _you’re_ the one that just hit on me before the bread even got here.”

“You didn’t say no.”

“I didn’t realize we were gonna be third wheeled by your ego all night,” Catra teased.

 _“My_ ego? I’m not the one who showed up decked out in a suit.”

“I bet you’d look good in a suit,” Catra said. She leaned across the table, then added, “but you’d look even better out of it.”

Adora felt her pulse pick up for reasons blissfully far removed from her earlier anxiety.

Maybe this wasn’t such a lost cause - and maybe stupid small talk wasn’t the answer Adora had hoped it would be. This didn’t have to be another one-dimensional dinner date. And even though Catra was giving her a look that could have unraveled her dress thread by thread, she was determined not to fall back on physical activities as a way to avoid actually talking.

Adora didn’t waste another second sorting through mental flashcards for good conversation topics. Her heart thumped in her chest, steady and strong, and she knew she didn’t want to pretend anymore.

“Um...I don’t go on a lot of dates,” she started. She wasn’t sure where the words were suddenly coming from, but it was something, and that was better than nothing. “Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I had dinner with someone. Besides last week. But I’m not sure that counts.”

Under the table, a foot tapped against hers. “So is this a second first date, then?” Catra asked. “Because that makes perfect sense,” she tacked on sarcastically.

Adora let out a strained laugh. “I’m not sure any of this has made sense so far.”

Catra sighed. “This whole thing has been kind of ridiculous, huh?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Adora said. “Maybe it doesn’t make sense on paper. I definitely don’t know a lot of people who meet for the first time, then literally fight each other, then...do what we did.”

“Okay, does everybody know about the locker room thing?”

“Apparently so!”

“I blame Scorpia.”

“And Bow. He’s the one who told Mermista.”

“Damn. I would have put money on Sparkles.”

“Me, too.” Adora agreed. “I practically had to bribe her not to come and sit at another table in disguise.”

Catra peeked over the back of the booth suspiciously.

“That was a joke. She’s not actually here.”

A relieved laugh from Catra. Okay. This was going well.

Adora continued. “I wanted tonight to be completely normal. Since, you know, last time was definitely the opposite of that,” she said. “But I think I got so focused on being normal that I forgot to just be myself. And be...open.”

Catra looked down at the table. She had a nervous habit of picking at her fingers. “Yeah. Same here.” The corner of her lip twitched up.

Tentatively, Adora reached across the table and dropped her hand over Catra’s. “That’s okay.”

Even in the dim ambiance, the reserved smile that flashed over Catra’s face was warm. It grew into a crooked, bright grin as she held Adora’s gaze.

Just because they were doing all of this out of order didn’t mean they needed to rush to get somewhere. What was the “right” way to date someone, anyway? Who decided there was one correct process? If they were both happy with how things were moving, then why should it matter if they stuck to a formula or not?

Catra squeezed her hand. “You should definitely just be yourself. That whole ‘normal Adora’ thing was seriously creepy.”

“I promise I’ll never ask about the grocery store again,” Adora joked.

“Good. I quit.”

“You did?”

“If you want, you could ask about my new job,” Catra said. There was a strange note in her voice, in her posture - shyness?

Curiosity piqued, Adora ventured, “What’s your new job?”

“I just got hired at a music store.”

“What? Catra, that’s amazing!” Adora almost launched herself across the table and flung her arms around Catra’s neck, but fortunately she still had some self-control in the tank. She settled for a hopefully composed, “I didn’t know you played an instrument.”

“A couple, actually.”

As Adora processed that very compelling information, Seahawk swung by their table with a basket of rolls.

“On the house,” he said with a wink, flinging the basket across the table like a frisbee as he left. It slid and knocked into the wall, and one of the rolls flew out of its little napkin nest like an eager piece of popcorn. Adora snatched the roll out of the air just before it hit the table.

Catra smirked. “Nice reflexes.”

Adora took a bite, giving herself a moment to think. Bread was nice. Soothing.

Okay, she could do this. She could flirt.

“Yeah, well. I’m kind of trying to impress someone,” she said.

“Talking with your mouth full of bread is a great start.”

In a moment of sheer bravery, Adora crammed the rest of the roll in her mouth and flashed finger guns.

Catra buried her face in her hands.

Adora tried not to laugh too hard at the reaction (it would’ve been a shame if she choked on a roll just as this was starting to turn around).

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said.

Mouth still full of bread, Adora replied, “Mhmm?”

“First off, you’re ridiculous. Second, this is...actually one of the least shitty dates I’ve been on.”

Adora paused to swallow the rest of the roll down. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“What? How? Why?” she asked, stunned.

Catra shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s nice. You’re nice.”

“Don’t forget ‘hot.’”

“Oh, good. Your ego’s back. I was wondering who was gonna help us eat all this bread.”

Adora knew she was probably wearing the expression that Glimmer affectionately referring to as “obnoxiously smug,” but Catra didn’t seem put off by it. In fact, she seemed unable to look anywhere else. Until her eyes narrowed, the corner of her lips quirked up, and she started scanning the restaurant.

“I promise Glimmer isn’t actually here,” Adora reiterated.

“You said you want to impress me, right? I have an i--” Catra cut herself off and froze, staring at a small table at the other corner of the bar.

Both of the people sitting there raised their menus in front of their faces. All Adora could really see were the two dramatic, wide-brimmed hats they wore, one deep green and the other black velvet.

“Fuck,” Catra muttered. “Guess I should’ve bribed Scorpia, too.”

Adora squinted at the table in question. “Is that--”

“Yup. Her and Perfuma.”

“They’re actually in disguises.”

“Big time.”

“Wow.”

“Hope they don't mind a show with dinner. Hey, Waterbird,” Catra called out across the restaurant.

“Seahawk,” Adora shouted.

He practically sprinted from the register back to their table. “That seven-cheese pasta will be just another five to ten minutes. What can I do for the lovely couple?”

“Yeah, what’s your policy on free cheesecake?” Catra asked.

“Usually, that is reserved for birthdays and anniversaries,” he said.

“What a coincidence. It just so happens to be my birthday.”

“Really?” Seahawk asked, stroking his chin. “And would you be able to provide a driver’s license to verify that?”

Catra shrugged. “It was worth a shot. Hey, how about you and Adora arm wrestle for it? She wins, we get free cheesecake. You win, I’ll pay double our check and you keep the difference.”

Adora jumped in. “Come on, Seahawk. You scared?” Normally, she made a point of being very nice to waiters, but...this was Seahawk.

He gasped, hooked. “I resent the very implication. We shall prove ourselves in a battle of strength! Oh, Mermiiiistaaaaa!” He sang out.

Mermista trudged over from the bar. “Can we leave now?”

Seahawk put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest, peacocking almost embarrassingly thoroughly. “My dear, our guests of honor have challenged _my_ honor. I humbly request that you bear witness to what I am sure will be a most impressive victory.”

“You mean Adora’s victory, right?” Mermista checked. “She goes to the gym, like, eight times a day.”

Unfazed, Seahawk slid onto the bench next to Catra and slammed his elbow down on the solid wood.

Adora followed suit, her elbow hitting the table just moments after his.

“Let’s do this,” she said, jaw set in determination.

They clasped hands.

Catra counted them down. “Three, two, one...flex.”

Adora wanted to look at her date, gauge how amused or pleased she might look - but that would distract her from her immediate goal of kicking Seahawk’s ass.

Mermista leaned with her palms against the edge of the table. “Hey, guys, remember that dance off the first time we all met that I definitely did not have anything to do with? Maybe don’t break anything this time.”

“It’s not my fault he kicked out a window,” Adora returned.

Seahawk guffawed with glee. “As always, you are proving to be quite a worthy competitor,” he said, straining.

Adora put a little more muscle into it. Seahawk was already breaking a sweat, and she knew this would be over soon.

But Adora flinched when she felt a foot tap against her own under the table again. She made the deadly mistake of glancing over at Catra, who for some reason thought it was a great idea to hold two fingers in front of her mouth in a V and stick her tongue out between them.

Adora’s focus shattered, and Seahawk pinned her hand.

“YES!” He exclaimed, standing and pumping his arms in the air. “Did you see that?” he asked Mermista, out of breath.

She looked up from examining her nails. “Huh?”

“I won!”

Adora growled and glared at the malicious agent of chaos seated next to her opponent. Then she planted her elbow again firmly, holding her hand out. “Again.”

Seahawk put his arms down. “A rematch? Already?”

“How about double or nothing?”

“Oh, boy,” Mermista mumbled, shaking her head. “You know that first round win was a total fluke, right?”

“Be that as it may, I accept the challenge.” He rolled his sleeve up and sat back down. “The pursuit of redemption is a noble cause indeed.”

Adora grabbed his hand, but she kept her stare firmly on Catra. They both held steady, barely blinking, each refusing to concede. Adora might have been arm wrestling Seahawk, but her competitive energy was now directed at someone else entirely. The fire kicking up in her stomach told her that this tacit engagement would have a much more satisfying reward than free cheesecake.

“Alright,” Mermista said, pulling out her phone to record. “Three, two, go.”

The rematch lasted all of two seconds. Without breaking her blazing eye contact with Catra, Adora charged every muscle cell and synapse in her right arm. Mercilessly, she slammed Seahawk’s hand against the table top.

“Yeah, that seems a lot more accurate,” Mermista droned. “Aaaaand posted.” She slid her phone back into her pocket.

Seahawk cleared his throat and recovered gracefully. He reached out to shake Adora’s hand. “Four slices to the winner.”

Catra’s expression was priceless. Not only had Adora won them half of an entire cheesecake, it seemed that she’d also managed to completely shut down Catra’s central snark cortex. Her wide eyes and awed, parted lips did nothing to deflate Adora’s increasingly solid sense of self-assurance.

“Okay, we’re gonna let you guys eye-fuck in peace,” Mermista commented. “Just tell the cashier up front what slices you...are totally not listening.”

“I was listening,” Adora said, finally breaking the intense connection to look up at Mermista. “You said you guys are leaving.”

“And the cashier has to give us free dessert,” Catra added.

Seahawk slid out of the booth and bowed deeply. “It has been a distinct pleasure.” He leaned in close to Adora. “I like her. Even if she is slightly terrifying.”

Mermista dragged him away by the back of his shirt.

Throughout the rest of their meal, Catra seemed to blush every time she glanced below Adora's shoulders. 

***

Even though Catra's plan with the arm wrestling had backfired and turned her into a little bit of a mess, she still enjoyed the rest of dinner. Seven cheeses was a lot to handle, and she'd barely gotten through two-thirds of the massive helping. Thankfully, Adora and her massive appetite made sure no noodle was left behind. 

According to the cashier, someone - Mermista herself, Catra suspected, or possibly Scorpia - had picked up the tab for her and Adora’s whole meal. Still, Catra left a $50 tip. She didn’t spend much on anything other than food, so why not secretly spite whichever friend of theirs had taken it upon themselves to be so intrusively generous and generously intrusive all night? Plus, it was good food or whatever. 

Maybe someday Catra would take Adora on a date where they’d actually get to be alone together. Her heart jumped at the ease with which she conceived of going out with Adora again, but she didn’t get a chance to examine it before Adora grabbed her hand and started leading her towards the exit.

As they left the bar area, Perfuma dropped her menu to flash an enthusiastic and not-at-all-surreptitious double thumbs up at Catra. Scorpia, in her attempt to wink at Catra while remaining incognito, actually managed to be even more conspicuous than her partner-in-spying.

It was almost ten o’clock by the time they actually left the restaurant. Normally, Catra might feel bad about holding a table for two hours. She’d worked enough food service jobs to know how annoying that could be, but having Adora’s friends running most of the night made her feel a little more okay with hanging out for a while.

Catra tried not to beat herself up about everything she’d said or forgotten to say. They probably could have avoided the incredibly awkward first half of the evening if Catra hadn’t been so stuck in her own head with Perfuma’s words. Turned out that prying her own heart open took a surprising amount of effort, and it made it impossible for her to concentrate on things like coming up with normal questions. At first, she’d been kicking herself for not thinking to ask such simple things as “How was work?” like Adora had, but the fact that Adora had seemed just as uncomfortable in that mundane realm of conversation convinced Catra to go a little easier on herself. She definitely could have come up with a better explanation for why this was one of the best dates she’d been on. “It’s nice” hardly held water, and it didn’t even begin to give ground to the many feelings swirling in her chest. Maybe that was for the best - she’d have to sort through those before letting them loose.

She wished she’d had the courage to be as open and honest as Adora had been, but she’d taken baby steps herself, and that would have to do for now. It was enough for Adora, and maybe it could be enough for Catra, too.

The slight chill of the nighttime air hit the seams of Catra’s suit, and Adora clung to her arm.

“Do you want my jacket?” Catra asked. Loath as she was to cover up Adora’s arms, that sleeveless dress was bound to be less comfortable outside.

“It’s fine,” Adora said. “My car’s close.”

“Uh-huh. Where’d you park?” Catra asked, already half-sure that she knew she answer.

“Somewhere...” Adora started, looking out over the mostly empty parking area. “Okay, I might be at the back of the lot. But I’m fine, seriously.”

Catra laughed and let go of Adora’s hand to shrug her suit jacket off. “You’re a terrible actor.” She held the coat out, waiting for Adora to take it herself.

“Thanks,” Adora said, reluctantly taking it and draping it around her shoulders. “Can you...walk me to my car?”

“Yeah,” Catra said.

As they walked, Catra realized that she’d forgotten how nice just holding someone’s hand could be, and she wasn’t above admitting that she really, really wanted to do it again. Adora’s hands were unfortunately occupied keeping the jacket on, though, and Catra shoved her own hands into her pockets. Better that Adora didn't freeze. That would kind of ruin the night. 

“Can I ask you something?” Adora started.

“I think you just did,” Catra teased. “But sure.”

“What’s your beef with mushroom burgers?”

Catra glanced at her sideways. “My what?”

“Seriously, they’re not that bad.”

“Forgive me for not wanting to put a fungus in my mouth.”

“...Catra, are you scared of mushrooms?”

“What?! No!” Catra protested a little too loudly.

“Hmm. You don't think they’re... _fungis?”_ Adora stifled a laugh at her own terrible joke.

“Fuck. I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

Adora stopped completely, and Catra froze a step later when she realized what she’d said.

“Catra?”

She couldn’t bring herself to turn around. If anything on Adora’s face conveyed rejection, or worse, regret, Catra wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep it together. And she was not about to get emotional in a Cheesecake Factory parking lot.

Adora’s voice came again, blunt and charged with something Catra didn’t know how to label. “What did you just say?”

“Come on, we’re almost at your car,” Catra said, continuing forward.

She felt Adora’s hand close around her wrist and stop her.

Slowly, Catra looked back over her shoulder.

Adora's face said everything. Her eyes up lit up a sparkling, moon-bathed silver, and a smile dared to tremble on her lips. Before Catra could bring herself to repeat what she’d said, Adora’s features blossomed into something much more self-assured.

Too many thoughts crossed Catra’s mind: she should call it an accident and take it back, she should let this be the first and last time she tried opening up, she should _run_. But those frantic, flailing things drowned when Adora’s lips found hers. It was almost easy to let the unwelcome fixations go - almost.

Through the kiss, Catra heard a _whump_ , and when her hands met Adora’s bare shoulders, she realized she was probably going to need to get her jacket dry cleaned. It didn’t matter. She’d let it spend hours on the asphalt before she willingly stopped kissing Adora.

An unfamiliar and completely unwelcome pinging sound rang out. It didn’t deter Adora, and her hand slid down to Catra’s collar to pull her closer. Distractions were nothing, not when Adora’s lips fit so perfectly with--

The pinging sound came again. And again. And again.

With a frustrated sigh, Adora loosened her grip on Catra’s now-crumpled collar. “I should probably check that.”

“Yeah,” Catra managed.

Adora retreated a step and pulled her phone out of her dress pocket.

Meanwhile, Catra willed her heartbeat to slow down. Even after a short, simple kiss, she was practically speechless. What was happening to her?

“Oh. It’s Perfuma.” Adora hesitated. “She, um...she wants you to come camping with us next month.”

“Camping? Like, tents and shit?”

“Yeah. What, do you just sleep on the grass?”

“Big fan of treehouses, actually.”

Adora considered the idea, nodding in approval. “Classy.”

Catra’s phone vibrated in her back pocket. “It’s Scorpia. ‘Tell Adora to check her phone. Also say yes.’ Man, these people have relentless wingwoman game.”

“No kidding,” Adora agreed.

A chance presented itself, and Catra decided that she wasn’t going to pass it up. “I guess we can tell them to back off.”

Given the confused look on her face, Adora hadn’t caught on right away.

“Because...if we’re...” Catra gestured vaguely between the two of them.

“Oh. Yeah,” Adora smiled, but it evaporated into uncertainty quickly. “Are we?”

“If you want to be,” Catra said. “I mean, I’m into it.”

“You don’t have to decide about the camping thing now,” Adora said. “There’s no rush, okay?”

Catra reached for Adora’s hand. “Thanks.”

“Of course. We can just do our thing. Whatever that is.”

With a lingering kiss, Catra agreed.

“Guess this means you do like me,” Adora said, letting her fingers ghost over Catra’s jaw.

Catra wanted to roll her eyes at the note of smugness in her voice - but that would have involved looking away from Adora, and that was simply not an option at the moment. Instead, she swung in the opposite direction of taunting and avoidance, pushing herself to say that one pure, honest thing that she’d been skirting past all night. It had hit her square in the chest so many times, and she’d been so desperate to avoid it for fear of watching Adora walk away. But, at least for now, that wasn’t happening. Plucking up every bit of courage she could find, she finally admitted it.

“Yeah, I do.”

They let Catra’s jacket spend another ten minutes on the ground before saying goodnight.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some fluff........for now :)
> 
> i promise a return to smut and angst soon
> 
> also, i love u, have a good rest of today <3


	6. Chapter 6

Bow turned around in the passenger seat of the car. “So, are you gonna make it official?”

Adora looked up from the fold-out map she’d brought along from her extensive collection of charts and tour guides. GPS systems worked great, but she always liked holding directions in her hand. It at least made her feel a little more aware of what was going on. “What?”

Glimmer spoke from the driver’s seat. “Bow, they’ve barely been dating a month.”

Oh, so that’s what this was about. _Again_. In the weeks since her second first date with Catra, all of Adora’s friends had become deeply invested in the prospect of them slapping a label on their relationship. Even Mermista seemed to care. For the two weeks leading up to the trip, Adora could barely go a day without someone asking her if she had a girlfriend yet - and if said girlfriend would be coming camping with them. On the one hand, it was sweet, but it also made Adora incredibly anxious. She’d tried her best to explain that dating could be casual. None of them seemed to register that fact.

Plus, she didn’t want to pressure Catra into coming on the trip if she didn’t feel comfortable tagging along. Ultimately, she had decided to join them, and Adora was glad that she’d let her make the decision on her own. Adora didn’t ever want to be too much. 

In the handful of times they’d hung out since their Cheesecake Factory escapade, their conversations had never ventured into anything too deep. They’d grab food and stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning watching movies, trading stories about their workdays, and...doing other stuff. There was a lot of that. Like, a lot. But it always ended with one of them going home. They hadn’t ever spent the night together for real.

This would be the first time that waking up next to Catra in the morning was a distinct possibility, and it made Adora’s head spin. The mere thought drove her into a spiral, and she was in no state to make some huge emotional speech asking Catra to be her girlfriend. Especially when Catra’s permanently cool exterior gave no indication that she was interested in anything beyond casual. Why push it?

(Adora wouldn’t be opposed to it, necessarily, but why risk blowing up something good? If Catra was happy, she could be, too.)

It was important to like the person you were sleeping with, right? That was what their hangouts were for, really. Making sure they still liked each other enough to keep it up. If one day Catra decided that she wasn’t into it anymore, that would be fine. Totally fine.

Glimmer cast an unreadable look back at Adora, and her words sharpened. “Maybe we should stop pressuring them if they’re not ready.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, certain she was missing half of Glimmer’s meaning. “Catra’s great, but we’re just keeping it to ourselves for now.”

“Ohoho, you most certainly are not doing that,” Glimmer said, her pitch rising. “Remember that little talk we had about noise last week? And several times before that?”

“It’s not my fault she screams during horror movies!”

“It most definitely _is_ your fault if _you_ scream when--”

“Okay!” Thankfully, Bow interrupted. Adora could imagine how that sentence would’ve ended, and it was for that very reason that she hoped her and Catra’s tent would be far, far away from the others. “We’re all aware of the noise issue, and I’m sure Adora’s very sorry.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Adora cringed. She really needed to dig deep and find some self-control, but it wasn’t easy when Catra’s hands were so--

“And it won’t happen again,” Glimmer said sternly.

Adora hesitated.

“Right, Adora?”

“How far are we from the campsite?” Bow asked.

“Um...sixteen miles,” Adora answered, thankful once again for his intervention.

“Sixteen miles,” he repeated. “Plenty of time for you to figure out how you’re gonna ask Catra to be your girlfriend.”

Adora sighed and took back her unspoken thanks.

This was going to be quite a day. She needed something to distract her for the last leg of the trip, and the bag of sugary snacks on the seat next to her looked appealing enough.

***

When Catra pulled up to the campsite, everything was pretty much set up already. After spending all morning at the shop bent over a disastrously warped acoustic guitar neck, she was glad that she wouldn’t have to do anything physically demanding. At least, she hoped, until she could steal Adora away from the festivities for a little while.

Four identical tents were pitched in a loose, crescent-shaped cluster around a bonfire pit. Catra suddenly regretted not being involved in the setup process for one reason: she’d have put one tent a significant distance away from the others and smooth-talked Adora into joining her inside.

Okay, fine. She was excited to see Adora again. It had barely been a week, but that was way too long to go without kissing her. She didn't care if it was a sappy thought.

Catra tried to predict all of the permutations of sleeping arrangements that might ensue. She hadn’t decided to join the group outing until a day ago, so the arrangements could have been set already. Maybe she had nothing to worry about - but some of the possibilities made her second guess her decision to come on this trip altogether. Mostly, she prayed that Scorpia hadn’t seized this trip as an opportunity for some quality roommate bonding time. Hopefully she’d bunk with Perfuma instead.

There was a chance that Bow and Glimmer wouldn’t want to share a tent in light of the weirdness constantly swirling around their relationship - neither of them had made any effort, as far as Catra had heard, to change their dynamic. If that turned out to be the case, Glimmer would probably glom onto Adora. Catra could survive hanging out with Bow, though he seemed like a bit of a neat freak. He’d probably make her fold her sleeping bag up in the morning instead of standing by idly while she violently and only half-successfully stuffed it back into the bag.

If Catra and Glimmer somehow ended up in the same tent, they’d very likely tear each other’s throats out. They got along from a distance, but there was a palpable, residual tension from the whole first date dinner takeover situation. And from all the times Glimmer had threatened to evict Adora over late-night noise complaints (it wasn’t Catra’s fault Adora was loud as hell).

Catra still wasn’t sure if she was happy to be involved with this excursion into nature, but Adora hadn’t pushed back against Perfuma’s invitation. That had to count for something, even if she hadn’t been the one to ask Catra to go along herself. Even if she hadn’t said anything about it since that night in the parking lot. Maybe Catra should have been more worried about that...

Perfuma was standing by one of the tents tearing tiny pieces off of a roll of light blue duct tape. As Catra got closer, she saw that the tape had little penguins on it. And the little penguins were wearing bowties. Perfuma’s near-saccharine affinity for anything adorable had grown on Catra, though she’d never admit that. It was still frustrating, on occasion, how Perfuma could see the silver lining of any situation, but sometimes it was nice to have someone around who genuinely believed that everything would turn out okay. Her enthusiasm bolstered Catra’s decision - maybe this camping thing wouldn’t turn out to be a horrible mistake.

“Catra!” Perfuma rushed up with her arms outstretched, proclaiming the new arrival loudly enough to draw Mermista and Seahawk’s attention from past the bonfire pit. Mermista offered a casual wave while Seahawk dropped his impossibly large duffel at his feet and huffed in exhaustion. How much did he need for one night? Catra had barely brought a backpack.

Waiting out Perfuma’s embrace was the only option. She was a solid-seven-seconds kind of hugger.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she said, pulling away but hanging onto Catra’s shoulders. “How was the drive?”

“Fine. How’s this tent thing working?” Catra asked, failing to tamp down her impatience.

Perfuma whirled around and grabbed a clipboard from one of the carved wood benches around the bonfire. The clipboard had probably been Bow or Glimmer’s idea - Perfuma wasn't the over-organizing type. In fact, she seemed frazzled by the simple act of examining the page in front of her. Someone had gone to the trouble of making a color-coded table. 

Catra caught a glimpse of what she thought was Adora’s washed out, red bomber jacket crossing behind one of the tents, but it turned out to be a distant patch of red flowers dancing in the wind.

“You’re in...the blue tent,” Perfuma finally said, setting the clipboard down quickly. “Look for the little piece of paper outside the front door. Er, flap.”

“Two people in each?”

Perfuma nodded and hummed her affirmative answer. “We almost had to force triples, but Spinnerella and Netossa couldn’t make it.”

“I better not be with Seahawk,” Catra said without an iota of humor.

Perfuma smiled knowingly. “We figured you wouldn’t mind sharing with Adora.”

Catra couldn’t help but smile back.

“She drove out to get more marshmallows, but she should be back soon. Apparently the bag Bow packed didn’t survive the trip,” Perfuma said.

With a curt “Thanks,” Catra circled around the tents. They were several yards apart from each other, but voices would likely still carry through the thin fabric. The first tent she passed had a piece of yellow paper by the entrance, though the choice of colorful duct tape made this whole color-coding process a little confusing. The next tent was green, and the third a vague, light blue.

Catra unzipped the flap halfway, only to see Bow inside seated on a rolled up sleeping bag. Glimmer knelt on the ground next to him, a needle in hand.

Hoping her intrusion hadn’t been noticed, Catra hastily retreated. What were they doing in her tent?

“This might pinch a little,” Glimmer said. Her voice was more muffled by the tent than Catra had expected.

Bow’s voice was quieter, but his words were still intelligible. “Glimmer, I’ve been doing this for three years.”

“I know, I know. Okay, done.”

“Thanks.”

“Band-aid?”

“Hmm. What are my options?”

“Olaf from Frozen or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”

“Ninja Turtles, please.”

“I thought you might say that.”

“What can I say? I love the turtles.” A pause. “You can come in, Catra.”

So she hadn’t been stealthy after all. Unzipping the flap again, she peeked into the tent.

“My bad,” she said.

“It’s all good. We could still see your shadow hanging around outside,” Bow said with an easy smile. “Glimmer was just helping me with my T-shots.”

Like she’d done it a thousand times before, Glimmer stuck a band-aid to his thigh and planted a kiss on top.

Something about the ritual hit Catra square in the chest - what kind of trust did it take to let someone do all that? Had he just asked for her help one day? Or had she offered? Did this happen every time he did his shots? He could probably handle it on his own - so why? 

She’d walked in on something far more intimate than she could wrap her head around.

“Adora’s getting more marshmallows,” Glimmer said. “She ate the ones we packed.”

“All of them?” Catra asked.

“Yup. Turns out she can fit twelve in her mouth at once. Trust me, you do _not_ want to see it.”

“Sounds like something she’d do.” Catra shifted. “Um, I think you’re in my--” she winced, “our tent, I guess.”

Bow shook his head and looked at Glimmer. “I told you teal and blue were too similar for this color-coding scheme.”

“Fine. You told me so. Happy?”

Their banter was so easy. Rhythmic. They knew each other’s patterns on an ineffable level. What did it take to get to that point? How was it even possible to be that comfortable around another person? Catra had never seen anything so blatantly, unabashedly vulnerable. And it terrified her.

She didn’t know how to strip herself down in any way but one, and she’d hardened her bare skin so that it was as good as a suit of armor.

Here were two people who were perfect for each other - and they still weren’t together. If they couldn’t figure it out, what hope was there for someone who’d gone to such great lengths to wither and starve her own heart? 

Glimmer looked up at her. “You’re in the next one down.”

Catra started to leave, but--

“And please, for the love of every innocent creature that sleeps in this forest, _be quiet.”_

Catra snorted. “No promises, Sparkles.”

She took a last glance at the bandaid on Bow’s leg and left.

The blue label, was, technically speaking, marginally more blue than the teal one. Still, Bow was right. Who’d put Glimmer in charge of this, anyway?

Actually, Catra knew the answer. Glimmer had put Glimmer in charge of this.

Unless someone else had mutinied the system and staked their claim on the blue tent, Adora had already been by to drop off her sleeping bag. Like Catra, she’d brought only a small overnight pack - and that was when Catra realized.

Overnight. Sleeping. In a tent. With Adora.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Catra didn’t get the chance to process all of that. Before she’d even put her stuff down, someone entered the tent behind her.

“Hey! You’re here!” Adora said, surprised and guiltily hiding a new, open bag of marshmallows behind her back. There wasn’t much she could do about the one that was already in her mouth.

“Hi,” Catra said. “Whatcha got there?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m telling Glimmer.”

“Please don’t.”

“Fine. On one condition.”

Catra held out her hand.

Adora looked at it for a moment, then very slowly placed her own hand over it.

Catra rolled her eyes and hoped she wasn’t blushing. “Give me a marshmallow, dumbass.”

“Oh. Right.” Adora obliged.

“Thanks.”

Instead of eating it, Catra flicked the marshmallow from her palm right back at Adora’s face.

Adora’s reflexes impressed once again, and she managed to catch the marshmallow in her right hand after it bounced out of her left. With an indignant scoff, she shoved it into her mouth. “Don’t waste it.”

“Can’t you just go buy a third bag?”

“I could do that, yes,” Adora conceded. “But I’d rather, you know, be here.”

“Alright, I’m cutting you off.” Before Adora could give herself an even worse sugar rush, Catra swung her backpack off her shoulder and reached for the bag of marshmallows to tuck it away.

She was confronted, once again, with the loaded meaning of an overnight bag, leading her to drop her stuff on the ground abruptly and refuse to look at it any more. Adora’s head bumped up against the loose, weatherproof fabric of the low tent ceiling.

“Hey, worst case scenario,” Catra started, looping her arms around Adora’s neck, “you eat all these marshmallows, we go buy more, and we get an hour alone in your car.”

“I think the worst case scenario is actually that I eat all the marshmallows and get sick and everyone gets mad at me,” Adora said, her hands finding Catra’s waist, “but the rest of that idea sounds pretty good.”

Catra hummed against her lips. They tasted like sugar.

“How many of those things did you eat?”

“Like four. Maybe five.”

“Uh-huh. You sure it wasn’t twelve?”

“Shhh.”

It could have been easy to forget about whatever itinerary Glimmer had set and just kiss Adora until sunset.

But the thought of sunset reminded Catra of what would follow it, and she wasn’t ready to face that.

She was torn. If she stopped, her mind just would keep wandering back here - to the anticipation of the night, to the delicious memory of these too-sweet lips opening so invitingly. On the other hand, time passed dangerously fast when Adora’s hands were on her, and before she knew it sunset might come and go.

Maybe Catra was the only one freaking out about this. It wasn’t like they’d be sharing a bed. They’d be in separate sleeping bags, cramped together by limited space rather than by choice. Adora probably wasn’t thinking about it - she would just conk out after her inevitable sugar crash. If that happened, other things wouldn’t. Would that make it easier? Worse? Both?

“I heard we’re playing softball,” Adora said when she took a break to breathe.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Catra kissed her again. She couldn’t listen to Adora’s voice right now, not when she only wanted to hear things that weren’t being said.

There was no wall for Catra to back her up against, so she settled for pressing as close as she could. Adora was in a thermal workout shirt, and Catra had to admit that the skintight fabric caused almost the same problem as the tank tops. She could see and feel every firm outline - arms, shoulders, chest.

The long sleeves turned out to be even more of an issue, actually. It muted the familiar heat of Adora’s body, leaving Catra more frustrated every time her palms skimmed over muscle and softness and spandex. That shirt needed to go. Immediately.

She wanted to wipe her mind blank, and nothing did that better than bare skin, sweat, and straining breath. Before she told them to, her fingers strayed to the fitted hem of the shirt and snuck underneath. God, abs like that could not be legal.

Someone yelled Catra’s name from outside - Scorpia.

“We should probably get out there,” Adora said.

Catra groaned in dissent, hands stubbornly staying put.

Adora let out a breathy laugh. Her hands circled around Catra’s wrists, drawing them out slowly. Why was she always so gentle? Didn’t she know it only made the storm trapped in Catra’s chest more dangerous, more likely to tear its way out? Adora placed a kiss on one of Catra’s palms, and it nearly broke something.

Catra felt the urge to run, but settled for hiding. “Far be it from me to keep a lesbian from her softball game,” she snarked.

“Oh, you’re playing, too.”

“I don’t do organized sports.”

“We need even teams.” Adora raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want to let Scorpia down?”

There was no arguing with that. Catra could suffer through an hour in the sun if her best friend was so dead set on hitting a ball with a stick and running around.

“Fine, I’ll play,” Catra agreed.

A devilish idea crossed her mind. Even if she was giving in, she refused to have the last word. “Hey, Adora?”

“Yeah?”

Catra’s lip curled into a smirk. “If you wanted to go to third base so bad, you could've just asked.”

***

Adora thought that softball would be a relatively safe activity in terms of keeping her thoughts from fixating on her future tent buddy. Usually, competition narrowed her focus, but after Catra’s jibe about _third base,_ that was a lost cause. It didn’t help that Catra happened to be playing catcher the first time Adora went up to bat.

“Thanks for talking me into playing. I was worried this was gonna be boring,” Catra drawled. Even when she didn’t say anything outright flirtatious, the sound of her voice was enough to throw Adora off.

Scorpia’s first pitch whizzed by before Adora could register it. Definitely strike one.

Catra stood, tossed the ball back, and squatted down behind the beach towel that was standing in for home base. “Your ass looks great from down here,” she said just loud enough that only Adora would hear.

The pitch flew, and Adora swung wild. Strike two.

“Cut it out, Catra,” she warned.

“Aww, am I getting in your head?” Catra teased, returning the ball again. “This is so much more fun than I thought it would be.”

Scorpia wound up for the third time.

The pitch pulled to the right, and Adora could have let it pass. It wouldn’t have been a strike.

Instead, she didn’t even blink as the metal bat cracked loudly against hard leather. If the bat had been made of wood, it might have splintered.

The ball soared into the air, flying well out of Glimmer’s reach in the outfield. There was no way she’d catch it before it hit the ground, even sprinting. She would have to run all the way to the edge of the woods to retrieve the hit, giving Adora more than a moment to spare.

She looked down - and the wide-eyed, gaping look on Catra’s face was priceless.

“Not a bad view from up here, either.” Adora flashed a smug grin and sauntered towards first base. If she could whistle, she would’ve done so just to rub it in, but she settled for sticking her hands in the pockets of her track pants.

As she rounded first, she raised her hand towards Seahawk. Marveling at the sheer confidence of her decision to walk the bases, he had no choice but to commit to the high-five.

Glimmer was just reaching the trees when Adora started for second. She picked up her pace a little, not willing to let a home run go to waste just to show off. If the stunned look still plastered on Catra’s face was anything to go on, she’d more than made her point, anyway.

Unfortunately for Adora’s hubris, Glimmer had an excellent distance throw. Moreover, her competitive instinct was deadly, and she was not about to let Adora get away with anything. When she lobbed the ball back to Scorpia, Adora broke into a run, beelining for third. Scorpia made the catch and turned to throw home with the practiced coordination of a softball veteran.

Adora kicked off the makeshift towel base just before Scorpia whipped the ball to Catra.

Collapsing her right knee and stretching her left leg as far as she could, Adora dropped into a slide. The friction from the grass slowed her more than the orange dust of a normal diamond would have - it was going to be close.

She heard the telltale fwump of the ball landing in the glove Catra had borrowed from Scorpia. But it wasn’t over yet.

At the exact moment the glove tapped Adora’s leg, her foot poked the beach towel serving as home.

“YYYYES! She’s out!” Seahawk proclaimed.

“No way,” Mermista protested from the bench serving as the bench.

Scorpia jumped in. “Ah, pretty sure she’s out, yeah.”

“Catra totally moved the towel.”

“I did not!”

It quickly devolved into a verbal brawl, with Glimmer running in from the outfield to viciously back Catra up against Mermista’s accusations despite being the furthest thing from a witness to what had actually gone down. Bow and Seahawk had to hold them back, respectively, and Scorpia did the same for Catra, scooping her up by the armpits. Adora stayed a step away from the chaos, caught between mild amusement and having absolutely no idea how to intervene without getting her eyes scratched out.

Perfuma rose off the bench. “Everyone?” she said, barely inching past a normal speaking volume.

Mermista shrugged Seahawk off and shouted at Glimmer again. “Are you kidding me? You were like, eight miles away.”

“Like you were paying attention!” Glimmer shrieked, still struggling against Bow’s firm grasp.

Catra, feet dangling off the ground, kicked her legs in the air. “Scorpia, let me go!”

“No can do, Wildcat.”

“Everyone!” Perfuma shouted. This time, she cut through the noise successfully and the rest of the yelling stopped. “Scorpia, please put Catra down.”

Gingerly, Scorpia set Catra on her feet. Catra glared at her.

“Mermista,” Perfuma began, “Are you sure you were watching carefully?”

“She was playing Candy Crush!” Glimmer testified.

“So? I’m still right.” Mermista countered with all the confidence in the world. “It’s called multitasking.”

Perfuma tried to make peace. “I’m not sure we can trust your call. You’re on Adora’s team.”

“So are you, genius. Are you trying to make us lose on purpose?”

“No, I--” Perfuma paused and brought her palms to touch in front of her face. She took a deep breath. “Adora and Catra. You’re the only ones who really know what happened.”

Catra didn’t hesitate. “I tagged her. No points.”

“It’s called a run,” Scorpia whispered.

“Whatever.”

“Well, Adora?” Perfuma asked.

Adora scanned the many disgruntled faces in front of her. For the sake of the game, it had been good thinking by Scorpia to split the most athletically inclined people between the two teams, but now it was backfiring a little. Most of the best athletes also happened to be ultra-competitive, including Adora herself.

She could absolutely say that she’d touched the base first. It had been a tie, technically, and she wasn’t sure whether that meant she’d be lying about scoring or not. Did a tie go to the runner? Brushing up on the rules beforehand might not have been such a bad idea...

Catra crossed her arms and kicked at the clump of grass Adora’s slide had kicked up. She was just standing there, red-faced and pouting, and it was too cute for Adora to handle. The competitive fire roaring in her chest dwindled, and something much quieter, brighter, and warmer took its place.

Adora shrugged. “She got me."

“A-ha!” Seahawk shouted triumphantly.

Mermista fell dramatically to her knees, then starfished onto her back. “Uuuuuuuuugh.”

Perfuma patted Adora on the shoulder. “I appreciate your honesty, Adora.” Her hand lingered for a moment on Adora’s deltoid, which did not go unnoticed.

“We should probably think about wrapping this up,” Bow said. “It’s just about dusk.”

“Time for s’mores?” Glimmer suggested.

Most everyone cheered, but Adora noticed that Catra was looking up at the watercolor sky. She looked...nervous? Weird. Catra wasn’t afraid of the dark.

“Great game, everybody!” Scorpia said, thumping Catra on the back and knocking her out of her reverie (and nearly onto the ground).

“Who wants to start the fire?” Perfuma asked innocently.

Seahawk leapt to her side. “I WILL START TH--”

“Absolutely not,” Mermista cut in, still lying on the grass. “Whatever you do, never, ever give this man a lighter. Or a match. Or anything even remotely flammable.”

“She’s exaggerating. My clothes are all perfectly flammable, and look at how not on fire they are.”

“Please. Stop.”

Perfuma laughed nervously. “Probably best not to jinx it, Seahawk.”

“Point taken,” he said. “Then I shall do my part and acquire kindling! Bow, Scorpia, would you care to accompany me?”

Adora would never understand why Bow looked up to Seahawk so much, but she swore she saw little stars appear in his eyes at the invitation.

Seahawk pointed to the tree line. "To the woods! ADVENTURE!"

“I guess the rest of us can clean up the field and get the food ready to go,” Glimmer said. “Adora...you might want to change.”

Adora looked down. Her white top was smeared with grass and dirt all along one side. And, now that she was paying attention, she saw that she’d actually managed to rip her pant leg all the way up to the knee, too.

“Good plan,” she said. “I’ll go do that.”

“I’m gonna grab some water,” Catra said, casting a look at Adora.

Glimmer scowled. “Fine. Just remember what I said. Be considerate of whatever else might be out here.”

“Super creepy. Thanks.”

Expecting Catra to catch up, Adora started back towards the tent, unsure what Glimmer had been talking about. Did other people actually live out here? They’d rented out the campgrounds for the night. Theoretically, they were the only people around.

As Adora neared the line of trees that curved towards the tent, the footsteps trailing behind her stopped. She turned to see Catra staring up at the orange sky again.

“Catra?”

“What’s up,” Catra said. Her voice was distant.

“I can grab your water bottle if you want.”

Catra didn’t say anything. What was going on with her?

Adora thought about walking right up to her and wrapping her arms around Catra’s waist from behind, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was seeing something she wasn’t meant to. Probably best to just head back to the tent without disturbing her further.

“Okay. Um. I’m gonna go change,” Adora said.

Catra finally turned her attention away from the gold-lined clouds above them. She scoffed, and the strangeness was masked. “Yeah, because you had to be a drama queen. Who walks the first two bases and then slides home?”

“Like you wouldn’t have done it.”

“I wouldn’t have. These are my favorite pants.”

“I could have lied, you know,” Adora said, absently taking a step closer to Catra. “Perfuma would have believed me if I’d said I was safe.”

Catra squared her shoulders. “I tagged you first and you know it.”

Adora smirked. “Actually, it was a tie.”

“You’re a jackass.”

“You’re a sore winner. You're welcome, by the way.”

Catra narrowed her eyes.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Adora asked, hoping it might give Catra a chance to talk away from the group if she wanted.

Without another word, Catra grabbed Adora’s wrist and pulled her towards the woods. If anything was out here, apparently she was in a hurry to meet it before the sun went down completely.

She led them into the forest until their tent was barely visible through the trees. Then she just...stopped. Yeah, she was officially acting very, very weird.

Adora’s hand fell back to her side. “Catra,” she whispered, just in case anything really was out here. “Why are we stopping?”

“Shh,” Catra hushed.

Adora brushed Catra’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I really wish you’d stop asking me stuff like that,” Catra smiled - bitterly - and her eyes squeezed shut.

Adora slipped her palm against Catra’s cheek, encouraging her as gently as possible to meet her gaze. “Really?”

“What do you think?”

Under the sunset streaming in between branches, Catra’s blue eye sparkled an unfamiliar green, like an uncut emerald. Her amber eye shone like gold, and the freckles smattered across her nose were practically glowing against her skin.

If the image of Catra framed in golden hour lighting had left any breath in Adora’s lungs, it was abruptly knocked out when her back hit a tree. She managed to swallow an inhale before Catra crashed into her.

Though the bark was rough even through her shirt, Adora didn’t particularly mind being pinned by Catra’s hands and hips and mouth. When Catra kissed her, everything else fell away. It made her feel like she was skydiving yet solid on her feet all at once. Thrilling, exhilarating. Wonderfully grounding.

Catra’s thumbs ducked under Adora’s shirt and traced the line of her hipbones down past the elastic of her pants.

It wasn’t nearly cold enough to shiver, but Adora did it anyway.

“Catra,” Adora said in anticipation.

Damn. Was she really about to have sex in a forest?

As Catra’s tongue slipped over her lips, Adora let out a desperate moan. Thanks to the relentless teasing during the game and what had already happened in the tent, Adora knew she was already a bit of a mess. Usually, Catra would be the first to comment on it, but--

“You might’ve gotten me a little worked up earlier,” Adora admitted.

Normally, Catra would have said something by now, taunting or praising or somewhere in between. But she was quiet. Her only response was to bite down on Adora’s lip, hard.

“Back to the tent?” Adora asked, already breathless. As exciting as this whole sex in the woods thing was, it was starting to get a little uncomfortable.

Maybe Catra hadn’t heard her. Her hands slid under Adora’s shirt, climbing higher and clawing down over her ribs. It should have been the perfect touch - Adora’s spiking heart rate certainly thought so. But something was wrong.

Catra just wasn’t saying anything.

“Catra, hang on a second,” Adora said, catching Catra's wrists to stop against her own body’s wishes. She brought one hand to rest on Catra’s cheek.

Finally, Catra looked at her again. Adora didn’t recognize the expression she wore. It was almost calculatingly blank, but the flare of her nostrils and shallow breaths lifting her chest told Adora there was more beneath the surface.

Adora freed Catra’s wrist in order to properly cradle her sharp, flexed jaw. With all of the warmth she held in her heart, she asked, “You’ve been acting kind of weird. What is going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Catra dismissed.

It was such an obvious lie that Adora felt it pang against her sternum. “Just talk to me,” she tried.

“Adora,” Catra said, pleading, almost warning.

“Please?” Adora said, the word small enough to get lost forever in the gap between them.

Catra’s lips parted, and Adora thought she might have gotten through.

But then Catra clamped her mouth shut, and the moment passed.

Adora felt a tightness take hold in her chest. One second they were wandering off into the woods, making out against a tree, and the next she was on the verge of crying in frustration. If Catra didn’t trust her enough to even admit that something was bothering her, what could Adora possibly do about it?

She wanted to fix it so badly, but she had no idea how.

“Whoa, hey,” Catra said, something about Adora’s expression clearly sparking concern. “I--I’m sorry, okay?”

What?

Adora blinked. “Why are _you_ sorry?” She was the one who clearly hadn’t made Catra feel safe enough to talk about her emotions.

Catra murmured something to herself and kissed Adora once, firm and lasting.

Adora kept her from going further, biting her own lip in resistance. As tempting as it was to go back to what they’d been doing, she didn’t want to let this go. “Okay. Okay,” she said, mostly to calm herself. “We don’t have to do this right now.”

“Awesome.” Catra looked relieved. Her hands landed on Adora’s hips with purpose, and Adora realized she hadn’t been clear.

She placed her hands over Catra’s, holding them still at her waist. “I mean we don’t have to do this right now.” Now Catra just looked...confused. Adora tried to explain. “Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to get felt up against a tree today.”

“That’s on you.”

“Maybe,” Adora laughed, tense. 

“Look,” Catra said, blowing out an exhale all at once. “I know why I’m here, okay?”

It was Adora’s turn to be confused. “Because we invited you?”

“Perfuma invited me.” She said it like it was a correction, but Adora didn’t understand.

For a moment, Catra stared off past the tree at Adora’s back. Her nails scratched wide across the space under her collarbone, like she was grasping at a phantom necklace. Her hand closed into a fist right over her heart.

“Did you want me here, Adora?”

“Of course.” Adora was barely a rung below horrified. By saying nothing, had she accidentally made Catra feel like she didn’t want her on this trip? No wonder Catra didn’t want to talk to her.

“Why?” Catra asked.

There were a lot of answers to that. Part of her, Adora had to admit, had definitely hoped that there would be at least some making out involved, preferably in their tent, but that wasn’t all.

Now, she was dangerously close to launching into that emotional speech she’d spent exactly no time rehearsing in the car. Maybe she should’ve caved to Bow’s peer pressure. She would’ve come up with a whole list of her favorite things about Catra, from the way her voice sounded rougher late at night to how she had an unusually strong opinion about anything and everything. And she definitely would have mentioned those freckles.

Instead, she offered, “I like hanging out with you.”

Oh, man. That was pathetic.

At least it was enough to draw Catra to look at her again.

“You know,” Adora said, crossing her arms. “We don’t always have to do this. Making out and stuff. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t have to be everything.”

Catra didn’t look convinced.

“You’re really cool,” Adora added.

That earned a minuscule laugh. It was fleeting and almost impossible to detect, but it was there.

“Yeah, you’re cool, too,” Catra said. Why she rolled her eyes afterwards, Adora didn’t know.

A harsh whistle echoed from the campsite. One of Mermista’s many awful hidden talents. The kindling collectors must have returned. 

“We should get back,” Catra said, taking a step away from the tree. 

“Okay.” Adora didn’t move.

“Up to you.”

“Yeah.”

Catra shook her head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Because I slid home or because I let you win?”

Catra started heading to camp. She called back, “Neither,” and Adora would’ve traded every fold-out guide in her collection to feel a little less lost.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> camping to be continued...
> 
> basically because this chapter length got outta control and i really wanted to end with some angst :)
> 
> thank u to doublepasse-writes for the softball concept, and thank u to everhaunting for reading this over!
> 
> as always, i love u all <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitch, bet you thought you'd have to wait for part 2
> 
> ...maybe don't read this chapter in public l m a o

Once Mermista wrestled the lighter away from Seahawk (and Scorpia confiscated it from Mermista), the bonfire thing actually turned out alright. Catra wasn’t the biggest fan of sweets, but she wouldn’t say no to a well-toasted marshmallow. She was sharing a bench with Scorpia and Perfuma, who were busy praising each other’s performances during the softball game despite having been on rival teams.

Scorpia had loaded four marshmallows onto one stick. According to her, the secret to a perfect s’more was using the _entire_ rectangle of graham cracker, slapping a whole chocolate bar on there, holding the second cracker at a very specific angle against the long edge of the first, and sliding the marshmallows off slowly enough that they’d sit between the crackers like meatballs in a sub sandwich. And yeah, that was the exact comparison she used.

“Perfuma, I can’t believe you knocked in a double on your first time at bat. It was like WHACK! Psheeeewwwww, yeah!” Scorpia said.

Perfuma waved the compliment off. “First timer’s luck. I’m amazed that you have such a consistent underhand throw. It must have taken years of practice.”

“Ah, it’s actually called a pitch.”

“Oh! Right,” Perfuma giggled. She nestled agaisnt Scorpia’s shoulder and held her stick out towards the fire. She’d brought her own little pack of vegan marshmallows (and another bag of regular ones, just in case they ran out). How fortunate that Adora hadn’t found out about either stash before the bonfire.

The marshmallow criminal in question sat on the next bench over with Glimmer and Bow. According to Bow, Glimmer was committing unforgivable bonfire atrocities by piercing her marshmallow through the side instead of end-to-end “like a normal person.” Glimmer claimed that this method let her get more marshmallows on one stick, leading Bow to question why exactly she needed to roast so many marshmallows at once.

“Please tell me this doesn’t have something to do with Adora eating twelve on the drive up,” Bow said.

Glimmer just hummed to herself suspiciously and stuck marshmallow number thirteen on her stick.

“Oho, you’re going down,” Adora challenged, cluing in. She’d found a stick with four prongs on it, a veritable holy grail of nature-made skewers. It could hold a whole lot more than thirteen, and it looked like Adora was planning on absolutely maximizing its potential. There were at least twenty bisected marshmallows on that thing.

She carefully lowered her stick down towards the flames, losing one rogue marshmallow to gravity. She looked so ridiculously focused, shifting the stick ever so slightly until she found the perfect spot over a pile of smoldering embers at the edge of the fire. After a few seconds, she flipped the whole thing over, miraculously keeping all of the melty morsels intact.

Dragging Adora off to make out in the woods hadn’t been Catra’s best idea. In fact, the whole thing had only left her more confused and conflicted. She’d been trying so hard to hide everything she was feeling, but there were cracks in her facade, and Adora had noticed. Why couldn’t Adora have made this easier on both of them and just been her typical oblivious self? Why did she have to keep asking, so innocently inviting Catra to open up?

Before the woods, Catra had been so sure: no matter what label they used, this had been about sex, about feeling pulled towards someone because of pheromones or hormones or whatever. They said they were dating because there was no reason to keep it a secret (Catra had been with people who insisted on hiding before, and she was done with that). Sex - very public sex - was how this whole thing had started, and even if they talked about stupid stuff or watched movies, Catra always heard the truth hissing reminders of its presence in the back of her head.

Adora just had to go and screw it all up by being a nice person.

_“Are you okay?”_

_“What is going on with you?”_

_“Just talk to me. Please?”_

How could Catra explain that everything about this trip was showing her what she couldn’t have?

Bow and Glimmer loved each other, wholly and wonderfully and unconditionally despite their faults. Scorpia and Perfuma were the only two people in the world who could have ever deserved each other. Mermista and Seahawk, for all of their bizarre squabbling, understood each other on a level Catra couldn’t even fathom. Now, Mermista was stretched out across a third bench, her head in Seahawk’s lap as she fed him a perfectly golden-brown marshmallow. It was such a small gesture, but his face lit up like she was the most wonderful being in the universe.

Catra couldn’t be any of that. She’d never learned how. All she understood was flirting, fighting, and fucking, and that would never be enough. Adora deserved so much more, but the dam Catra had put up was straining against the pressure, endangering the one part of Adora she could have. And then the woods - if she wasn’t here to give Adora the one thing she could understand, what did Adora even want from her?

Really, there were two options: Catra could give it all up and walk away.

Or she could answer those sweet, well-meaning questions.

But she didn’t want to do that. She wasn’t ready, and she wasn’t sure she ever would be. Why couldn’t she just accept things the way they were? Why did part of her still want something more, even if she knew she’d just ruin it? What they had was good. Better than anything Catra had been in before. There was no reason to poison it with feelings and history and baggage, no matter what Perfuma said, because Catra didn’t see how opening her heart could end with anything other than a knife between her ribs.

Adora must have felt Catra’s eyes on her, or perhaps she happened to glance up from the fire by chance. Either way, she saw that Catra had been staring.

Catra tried to cover it up with an apologetic smile.

For all the flack Glimmer gave them over being loud, the look on Adora’s face was so quiet, soft and warm as the gentle crackle of the fire. If only Catra could put into words how much that hurt.

“Um, Adora?” Bow interrupted.

Adora snapped out of it. “Huh?”

“Your stick is on fire.”

Adora yelped and yanked the stick back. Putting out an entire stick of burning sugar at once turned out to be quite an endeavor, even with Glimmer and Bow helping. Adora’s cheeks puffed out absurdly as she tried to rescue the marshmallows. Her once-glorious skewer had betrayed her - every time she managed to put out one prong, it would catch all over again off its neighbor. Soon, all she had was a charred, sticky disaster. Just to rub it in, exactly one marshmallow nearest to the handle of the stick had, in fact, turned a lovely golden-brown.

Resigned, Adora plucked the lone survivor free. She popped it in her mouth - and spit it into her hand right away. Yup. Definitely way too hot.

She blew on the marshmallow again and glanced over sheepishly. All Catra could do in response was shake her head.

Fuck. She was so, so screwed.

“I have an idea!” Perfuma said. “Who’s up for a drum circle?” She didn’t need the jazz hands to make her point, but she sure did add them.

“How about ghost stories?” Mermista suggested.

Scorpia, of course, supported Perfuma’s idea, while Seahawk jumped on Mermista’s.

Perfuma turned to her other bench mate. “Catra?”

“Did you bring eight drums?”

“Oh, shoot,” Perfuma realized. “No, just the one.”

“You brought your djembe on a camping trip?”

“Of course. I never go anywhere overnight without it.”

(There was that word again. Overnight.)

Bow raised a hand. “Can we keep the ghost stories on the whimsical, friendly side?”

Mermista gave him a look. “What, are you gonna get spooked by a little casual psychological horror?”

“Yes!”

“I agree with Bow,” Glimmer said nervously.

“As do I,” Seahawk chimed in.

“Seahawk! You already backed me. Ride or die, man, ride or die.” Mermista said.

Perfuma clapped her hands together. “Who has a good PG-13 ghost story? Anybody?”

Mermista started with a story that involved a whole lot more blood and gore than every single PG-13 movie Catra had ever seen combined, but even Bow seemed invested towards the midpoint. He and Glimmer clung to each other the entire time, gasping at the same scary moments and screaming at the big reveal. Something about the poltergeist being the angry ghost of a small, furious dog or something.

Catra was only half-listening. She stared at the flickering flames and popping sparks, thinking about sunset and stars and how some things still looked the same in the dark.

Apparently, Mermista had come prepared, and she set up her first story perfectly for a sequel. “But the restless spirit of Pinto McToebeans had nothing on the horrors lurking in the neighbor’s basement.”

“What’s in the basement?” Bow whispered, terrified and enthralled.

“I don’t know,” Glimmer answered, just as invested.

Mermista leaned closer to the bonfire. “I’ll tell you...”

Adora stood up from her seat on the bench. “I think I’m gonna turn in, guys.”

“Do you not wish to hear the legend of Doctor von Fluffernutter?” Seahawk asked, scandalized.

“Is that the neighbor?”

“His cat, actually. I’ve heard this one a couple of times.”

Mermista raised a finger in front of his face. “Don’t spoil it.”

“Dearest, I would never commit such a heinous offense against the timeless art of storytelling.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, then gave him a quick kiss. “Good. Now, it all started when Doctor von Fluffernutter refused to drink from his water bowl...”

Catra watched as Adora stretched her arms up. Fingers still linked, she dropped her hands behind her head and flashed a little smile at Catra as she started towards the tent.

 _Their_ tent.

Catra sat frozen. She stayed through another minute of Mermista’s tale.

Would talking be worth it?

Did she want it to be worth it?

Why were all of these stories about disgruntled ghost pets?

Where could she even start to open up without unraveling all at once?

Despite her many reservations, the pull was too strong. She was the only one who seemed surprised when she bid the group goodnight and strolled off.

Before Catra knew it, she was back at the tent, and the flap was half unzipped.

Inside, bathed in warm lantern light, Adora was pulling on a pajama tank top that bore a striking resemblance to every other black tank top she owned.

“Hey, come in,” Adora invited.

Catra took a tentative step over the threshold. She zipped the entrance up, and it all became very, very real. Had the tent been this small earlier?

“You brought pajamas, right?” Adora asked, tossing her bag into a corner.

“Duh,” Catra said. “I don’t sleep in jeans and combat boots.”

“Honestly? I’d believe it.”

Catra snorted at that, shaking her head. She picked up her own backpack and fished through it, pulling out a soft pair of shorts and a matching cropped tank.

Despite the fact that they’d seen each other shirtless before, she turned her back to Adora - suddenly, bareness wasn’t the impenetrable armor she’d thought it was. She regretted not thinking this through while packing. Her choice of pajamas was going to leave a whole of skin showing.

Behind her, she heard rustling and zipping as Adora set up her sleeping bag.

“Do you want me to put yours out?” Adora asked.

It took Catra a moment to realize that this wasn’t some kind of test. Adora wasn’t asking because she secretly wanted Catra to say _No, let’s share,_ but because she genuinely wanted to do something to ensure Catra’s comfort. If Catra said yes, Adora would do it without a second thought, and she wouldn’t read any further into it.

“Sure,” Catra said. “But it’s way too hot. I’m sleeping on top of it.”

Adora liberated Catra’s sleeping bag from its carrying pack. A moment later, she laughed to herself.

Catra turned around, tying her hair up into a ponytail. “What’s so funny?”

Adora was lying down already, her hands pillowing her head. “You talk about being on top a lot.”

“Hm.” Catra flopped down on her sleeping bag, and Adora did the same in her own close space, rolling over so that they were face-to-face. “You got a problem with it?”

Adora ribbed back, “Yes. You’re terrible at taking turns. It’s bad manners.”

“What the fuck did I do to make you think I have manners?”

Adora’s answer came in the form of a smile and kicking Catra’s foot lightly.

“Hey,” Adora started, her smile sinking away in gravity. “I have a question.”

“What?”

“Do you...trust me?”

Catra blinked. “What?” she repeated, ten times quieter.

Adora shifted, neither coming closer or pulling away. She fidgeted when she was anxious, Catra knew. It wasn’t exactly subtle.

“Just because we’re...involved, that doesn’t mean that...you don’t--” Adora broke off, her face scrunching up. Eventually, gave up on whatever mental Google search she was running and took a breath.

“You don’t have to,” Adora whispered. “With other stuff, I mean.”

The sheer resignation drew a clenching sob to rise in Catra’s chest. She forced it down - crying was definitely not a thing she wanted to do right now. All she wanted was to tell Adora what she wanted to hear. But would it have been true?

She couldn’t do this. She just couldn’t. If she opened the floodgates, she’d destroy everything.

“Adora,” Catra said, not recognizing the pleading note in her own voice.

“Okay.” Adora’s hand landed on Catra’s cheek and gently massaged out the frown lines, but her own recalcitrant smile did little to hide the sad streak of blue in her eyes. “It’s okay. I get it.”

Her gaze flashed down to Catra’s lips, but she settled for planting a quick kiss on Catra’s forehead and rolled away onto her other side. “Goodnight.”

Catra flipped onto her back.

Adora most definitely _didn't_ get it.

But whose fault was that, really? If Catra never tried to explain, how could Adora even begin to understand? How could anyone?

She’d put her faith in people who didn’t deserve it before, but from the beginning, Adora had proven she was nothing like them. There was no room for comparison, not when Adora was so naturally kind. Considerate. Gentle. Everything Catra had never even realized she wanted. Even when Adora was encouraging her to open up, she hadn’t backed Catra into a corner, not once, and it was freeing in a completely unfamiliar and frightening way.

Catra slapped her hands over her face and ran them back over her hair. What would it even look like for her to trust someone again? She wasn’t sure she remembered. How could she start a conversation about this when she didn’t even know how to define the word in her own terms?

She liked Adora. A lot. Whether or not she trusted Adora wasn’t something she’d considered. Adora was right, however awkward her statement about being “involved” had been. Just because Catra let Adora’s hands do whatever they wanted on the surface didn’t mean that she’d let her any deeper. Every time she’d allowed someone to do that, she’d gotten hurt, and somewhere along the way, she’d tossed her heart out with the other broken, cursed things she tried so hard to ignore.

All the reasons she thought she had to keep her distance were screaming into her present from pasts she barely remembered, people who’d kept pieces of her like stolen trophies.

She couldn’t impose those cruel reasons here, not when Adora had done nothing wrong. It wasn’t fair to this girl, who made Catra feel like the bruised parts of her still deserved something good - and it wasn’t fair to herself.

A moment of hesitation grabbed at her before she let her hand go to Adora’s shoulder.

Adora whipped around to look at her, too many things flashing over her eyes for Catra to pin any single emotion down.

She resolved to let Adora explain them herself if she wanted to - reading minds was a myth she’d once wrongly treated as a religion.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra started. “I think I want to talk about it.”

She almost choked getting those words out, but it was done. The hardest part had passed.

“We can do that,” Adora nodded, sitting up and crossing her legs.

Having such undivided attention on her was unnerving, and Catra needed something to help her through this. She lifted herself onto her elbow, folded the corner of her sleeping bag over into Adora’s lap, and lay down there.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Adora looked way too pretty with her hair down. It was distracting.

Plus, Catra wasn’t sure she’d be able to do this if she had to look someone in the eye.

A beat passed. “You’re not asleep, are you?” Adora asked.

“No, dumbass. It’s just easier this way.”

Where to start? An apology was always good, right?

“So,” Catra began. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Even without looking at Adora’s face, Catra could picture her confused expression clearly. It was annoyingly adorable.

“For...I don’t know, feeling you up against a tree?”

Adora snorted. Too cute, once again. “You don’t need to apologize for that.”

“Really?” Catra said, doubtful.

“Uh, yeah. Positive.”

Catra sighed reflexively as she felt Adora’s hand smooth over her cheek, fingertips grazing a ticklish spot on her neck.

Could Catra get a break here? She’d closed her eyes for a reason, and yet this giggling jackass was somehow still finding unique and terrible ways to get under her skin.

This idea clearly wasn’t working.

Catra bolted up to a seat and found herself face to face with Adora. Hm. Maybe this was worse, actually.

A feeling that had struck her repeatedly and with increasing intensity over the past few weeks slapped her across the face - how had she gotten this lucky? What planets had lined up to make sure that she’d gone to that stupid gym with Scorpia on that specific day? Even if she hadn’t run into Adora then, they might have ended up meeting on this exact camping trip, or at a random dinner they were both invited to, or at Scorpia and Perfuma’s inevitable bachelorette party.

For the first time, Catra saw the thread connecting them, and she knew this had never just been about sex.

She thought back to Bow and Glimmer in their tent, Scorpia and Perfuma in the kitchen together, Mermista’s head resting easy on Seahawk’s leg.

Catra buried her face in her hands. “Fuck it, let’s just go to sleep.”

“If that’s what you want.” Adora said, voice wavering in and out of confidence.

“What do you want, Adora?” Catra snapped.

“I...this isn’t about me.”

That triggered something in Catra, something that felt very much like a bonfire roaring violently to life. “Great. So I’m the one with all the problems?”

“That’s not what I said.”

Catra forced herself to smother her reaction before it got even more out of control. She was lashing out - it was a bad, bad habit that she’d never had a chance to break. Never had a reason to break.

She grumbled in frustration. “I know that’s not what you said.”

The pained look wasn’t fading from Adora’s face, and Catra wanted to kick herself.

Catra didn’t know how to do this. It wasn’t an excuse; she knew that. She’d never forgive herself if she accidentally hurt Adora just because some selfish, naive part of her wanted to be seen a little more clearly.

“I’m sorry,” Catra repeated. “Can...can I try again?”

Adora responded by reaching into Catra’s lap and holding her hands. “Go for it.”

Catra took a deep breath. “I didn’t think this trip was gonna be so much. Your friends all--”

“They’re your friends, too,” Adora interrupted gently.

“Whatever,” Catra dismissed. Adora made a face, and Catra course-corrected. “Fine, you’re right, I guess.”

“Actually, I’m still not sure about Glimmer.”

“She’s a tough sell.”

“Ha, yeah.”

Catra flashed a half-assed smile. Jokes were something.

She kept hold of one of Adora’s hands, flipping it palm up and tracing the little lines on it with her nail. It pulled her focus away from the constricting pressure in the back of her throat - if she distracted herself, it was easier to let the words slip by.

“I guess trust looks different for everyone,” Catra started. “But I don’t really know what it means for me.”

Adora was quiet.

When Catra didn’t say anything else, though, she built on the thought.

“For me, a good place to start is just talking.” Adora hesitated. “Saying what I want.”

Catra narrowed her eyes.

“Like the biting thing.”

“Oh.”

Adora chewed on her bottom lip. “I’d never told anyone that before.”

“Seriously? Man, you must have been having boring sex before.” The nervous laugh that bubbled up in place of Adora’s response made Catra realize that perhaps she’d hit the nail too hard. “That was kind of mean, huh.”

“A little,” Adora agreed.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Catra said. “If I piss you off, I want you to tell me.” The idea of hurting her was bad enough, but the possibility of hurting her and never knowing? Much, much worse.

Adora didn’t look convinced.

“If you can ask me to bite you, you can tell me when I’m being an asshole.”

For a second, it looked like Adora might argue, but it lost out to a smile. “Deal.”

Catra stopped tracing Adora’s palm as another thought came to mind. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Sure.”

She almost took the opportunity to bait-and-switch and ask Adora some dumb question about why she loved marshmallows so much, but she pushed herself not to.

“Why do you ask me if I’m okay all the time?”

Adora’s little smile twisted into a frown. “Does it really bother you?”

“No.”

“Because I can stop--wait, it doesn’t? But earlier you said...”

“I know what I said.” Catra sighed.

“I’m confused.”

“Alright, um,” Catra said eloquently. “Lemme try to explain.”

“Please do.”

“It’s not that it bothers me. More like it does the opposite of that,” Catra started. “I’m just not used to it, and it freaks me out.”

“I’m so sorry!” Adora exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to--”

Before she could spiral into her apology, Catra surged forward and kissed her calm. She felt Adora’s hand relax in her own, settling back atop her thigh.

“Adora, please don’t be sorry for being--” Wonderful. Incredible. “--You.”

“I’m...not sorry,” Adora tried.

“There you go.”

“Got it.”

“Awesome.”

“I do actually owe you a different sorry, though,” Adora admitted. “For earlier.”

Catra nodded, faux-somber. “Walking the bases was a total dick move.”

“Not that. I stand by that.”

“Jerk.” Catra smirked.

“I should have invited you to come camping myself,” Adora said. “I just didn’t want to push you if...you know, if you weren’t interested.”

“Do I not strike you as a great outdoors kind of person?”

“Not really. Is that mean?”

“You still think I have manners hidden in my back pocket or something?”

“My mistake,” Adora scoffed. “Slipped my mind.”

“Probably the sugar crash.”

Adora smiled fondly. It was the same look she’d given Catra by the bonfire, one corner of her lips curled just higher than the other, her eyebrows set in a soft press. Earlier, its openness had made Catra uncomfortable, but now it only anchored her in this whole conversation.

“I still can’t believe you ate all those marshmallows,” Catra teased.

“Catra, they’re so good.” Adora sounded like she was straight-up lusting after the mere concept of sugar.

Just to poke the issue, Catra tapped her chin and said, “Honestly? I think they’re kind of overrated.”

“Don’t make me kick you out of this tent.”

“Please. Like you would.”

“I will.”

Catra leaned in and walked her fingers up Adora’s arm. “I think you’d miss me too much.”

As Adora’s playful mask fell, Catra stuck out the tip of her tongue, knowing she’d won this round. Before, this kind of banter would have led to Adora pulling Catra down on top of her in a heated kiss.

Which is why Catra was so shocked to feel Adora’s lips land on her cheek instead. They lingered there, firm and certain, more brazen in simple, naked chastity than any kiss they’d shared.

Staying close, Adora whispered, “I think I would, too.”

Catra sat stunned, the tumblers of a lock clicking into place as Adora so easily picked her way in.

Adora got up on her knees and leaned in again - but she stopped short.

“I know I said we don’t have to do physical stuff all the time...but I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Yeah, you should do that,” Catra said.

Those lips slid over Catra’s, fitting so smoothly it couldn’t have been coincidence.

It was slow, unbound by time or reserve. Catra tangled her fingers into Adora’s untied hair and pulled her in.

She lay back across their sleeping bags. Adora stayed with her all the way, settling her body over Catra’s but keeping her weight grounded through her own palms pressing into the earth.

Catra could have rushed it, brought Adora crushing down on her with a forceful tug on her shirt or waist. But this was so much better - this was slow, this was deliberate, this was promise. And Catra wanted nothing more than to see it through.

Her heart knocked against her bones like a fist beating on the underside of a frozen lake’s placid surface, threatening to claw its way out and bare itself to the rest of the unknown elements without reserve. Fear seized her chest, a cold so shocking that it made her gasp. She covered it up - always covered it up - and wondered how the hell she could still breathe when she felt like she was drowning.

She willed the heat to stay low. If her blood never circled back, the ice wouldn’t thaw. She could still have this, this one piece, and stay safe.

Each press of Adora’s lips on her neck, every infuriatingly intentional touch, it only made her want more. Her body was on board all the way, and it only pushed her further towards that precarious line.

It was impossible to deny - and what was the point, anyway?

What was she if not secure in these arms?

She wanted Adora. All of her. Now, later, whenever.

Whatever Adora was willing to give, Catra would take. And Adora could be incredibly generous.

Catra laughed as Adora’s pajama shirt flew across the tent. They really shouldn’t have bothered changing. She let her hands run wild over the exposed skin.

As much as Catra wanted to finish what she’d started in the woods, Adora seemed determined, driven by something quiet and solid and almost intimidatingly focused. She barely blinked, her lidded gaze riveted to Catra’s form between her legs.

Normally, yes, Catra would have fought a little harder to be on top. But she thought back to that first time, to Adora’s arm holding tight around her waist, and she didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

It was the same feeling that had washed over her in the locker room, but this time she was diving into an ocean headfirst. Catra pushed through it, trusting that Adora wouldn’t let her stay under.

Catra froze at the realization.

Adora felt it immediately. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, voice hoarse.

Safe. She felt safe.

“I trust you.”

Adora’s smile was everything.

Catra decided to kiss her once for every different kind of beautiful she was: kind, patient, strong, reliable, hot, caring, straightforward, hilariously funny, absolutely shredded, oblivious, loving...

She forgot about her list when Adora’s hand found its way to her thigh and reached up the leg of her shorts, fingertips grazing over her hip.

Despite the promising trajectory of Adora’s mouth down her stomach, Catra needed her closer. She didn’t want to lose the feeling of Adora’s lips on hers yet.

Grasping Adora’s shoulder drew her attention, though the image of her straying low burned itself into Catra’s mind.

Adora crawled back up.

“What do you want?” she asked.

_You._

Not trusting herself to speak, Catra closed her fingers around Adora’s wrist. She paused - and instead of dragging Adora’s hand down, she brought it up and placed it just over the slight space between her breasts.

Surprise colored Adora’s cheeks.

Maybe someday she’d understand.

Catra marveled at the pink blush across Adora’s face and chest, the sheen of sweat sparkling on her skin in the dim light.

Her eyes were beautifully strange, really. Piercing in the sun, steely gray in shadow. Silvery blue, now, only slight rings of color visible around her blown pupils.

“Just stay here,” Catra asked. 

Adora kissed her again, perfectly, and her hand swept down Catra’s front, taking time to explore. Callused fingers brushed over her ribs delicately, and Catra took the chance to strip off her own excuse for a shirt.

Getting Catra’s shorts out of the way completely turned out to be a low priority for Adora, who settled for dipping her fingers directly past the waistband.

Like before, her calluses were the perfect amount of rough to contrast her touch, and Catra couldn’t take it. Her breaths were already ragged as she reached for Adora’s hand again, taking control for just a moment to push it past the painfully sensitive spot where it had been.

“Adora?”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck me. Now.”

Adora’s careful gaze shattered. Her composure evaporated into nothing, and her next kiss was nothing but heat and tongue and teeth. Catra groaned - she’d taken on some of Adora’s affinity for biting - and kicked her shorts off. Adora’s first two fingers did as they were told, pumping and curling. When her thumb absently brushed back outside, Catra cried out.

If anyone had honestly expected dead quiet from this tent, that was their problem.

Catra dug her nails into Adora’s back. It was like a match to gasoline, and Adora’s pace doubled. Squeezing her eyes shut, Catra held on.

Once Adora got the idea to get her leg involved, using her knee to push her fingers deeper, it was as good as over for Catra. She survived one more stroke, then another, and one last--

“Shut the fuck up! For the love of god!” a familiar voice shrieked from outside.

A little part of Catra felt bad when she couldn’t stop. Really. But breaking into a fit of laughter and falling apart under Adora’s fingers at the same time was one of the best moments of her life.

Adora collapsed into idiotic giggles at her side, her arms shaking with expended effort as she slung one across Catra’s waist. “We have a terrible reputation.”

“Your fault,” Catra managed.

“Mm, not this time.”

Catra turned to kiss her, deep and fierce. A growl sat low in her throat, and she felt enough strength flowing back into her body to move.

“Sit up,” Catra said.

Adora listened, propping her hands behind her and raising one knee in front, her other leg splaying out.

She raised her eyebrows, and Catra took it as an invitation to rip the pajamas pants off.

Literally. There was a telling sound, and then a small tear along one hip.

“Catra,” Adora chastised.

“Shit. Well, hey, now we’ve both torn a pair of your pants today.” Catra slunk behind her and braced her legs around Adora’s hips. She kissed up her neck, picking out a perfect blank spot to pay special attention to. “Commando queen strikes again, huh?”

“I can’t believe y--”

Catra clamped a hand over Adora’s mouth.

“Gotta stay quiet, remember?” she taunted. Adora made an indignant sound, but Catra held tight. Into Adora’s ear she whispered, “Tap my knee twice if you want my hand gone.”

Adora nodded quickly and melted back against her.

Catra snaked her other hand around and went to work.

A short while later, Adora was screaming against Catra’s palm (and then again barely a minute after that). It seemed to have done its job, considering the lack of response from outside.

Eventually, they both ended up lying down, Catra on her back and Adora curled up at her side. Either the sugar crash was finally hitting or Catra had absolutely worn Adora out. She was barely hanging onto consciousness, drawing patterns on Catra’s chest.

“We are never getting invited on another overnight trip.” Catra said, eyes blinking heavily.

Adora hummed a laugh, too blissed out to care if it was true. “Baby, you were so loud.”

Catra’s heart stuttered like it had been hit with jumper cables, and she hoped the palm resting flat on her chest hadn’t detected anything.

Adora nuzzled closer. She wasn’t usually this clingy afterwards - maybe it was because for the first time she had the freedom to just fall asleep right there. With one last kiss to the cheek, she whispered, “Goodnight, Catra.”

Hours later, Catra woke up.

It was still dark out, but they'd left the lantern on. Its dwindling battery cast a flickering light, like a piece of the bonfire was here, burning silently inside.

Adora slept soundly, her limbs now strewn about freely like she’d fallen asleep dancing. Her lips parted a little wider with an exhale, and Catra was in love.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this was written already after the last update and...i didn't wanna wait lol. so here u go


	8. Chapter 8

It took a lot for Adora to sleep through the night. Usually she’d startle awake several times, and according to everyone she’d ever shared a bed with, she had a horrible kicking habit. But between playing softball in the sun for almost two hours, the best sex of her life, and the worst sugar crash of all time, she barely stirred until the early morning when she felt something soft press against her forehead. By the time she managed to blink her eyes open, she saw Catra’s silhouette leaving their tent.

She’d nearly fallen back asleep when she heard her nearly dead phone ping from her backpack pocket. Her groggy eyes could barely focus on the screen long enough to read the message, and she promptly dropped her phone on her face and starting snoring again.

What finally got her up was the flap of the tent getting torn open from outside. Sunlight streamed in violently.

“Adora, it’s almost noon,” Bow’s voice said.

“Time to go, lazybones,” Glimmer added.

Adora groaned. “I think I have a hangover.”

“From the marshmallows? Probably.” Glimmer nudged Adora’s foot. “Come on. You can nap on the drive home.”

“Fiiiine,” Adora conceded, finally sitting up. She rolled off her sleeping bag and started packing up.

“Where’s Catra?” Bow asked.

“She had to head out early.”

“Oh.”

It took less than a minute for Adora to finish gathering her things, and she wasn’t going to bother to change out of her pajamas just for the drive home. Glimmer and Bow were chatting about something, but Adora’s brain wasn’t awake enough to pay attention. She stuffed her ruined clothes from the day before into her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Adora?” Bow said her name like it wasn't the first time. 

Hm. Maybe they had been talking to her, actually. Oh, well.

“Alright, let’s go,” she said as she exited the tent.

Outside, two of the other tents were already packed up, and Seahawk and Mermista were in the process of wrestling theirs into submission. 

“Seahawk, you’re supposed to pull this cord, not that one!”

“My dear, I assure you, my camping experience is unparalleled. Why, as a Boy Scout, I once took down ten - no, _twenty_ tents in less than--”

It exploded out of their grasp and flattened them both to the grass.

“Perhaps this particular tent evades my extensive knowledge,” Seahawk admitted.

Mermista shoved the mound off fabric off of herself, placing its minimal weight squarely on Seahawk’s chest. “No, really?” she deadpanned.

“We can still salvage this mission,” he wheezed.

“I’m getting a snack.”

“Excellent plan. You supervise, and I will salvage.”

Adora looked around and counted the remaining campers. You know. Just to make sure Catra had gotten on her way okay. 

Scorpia and Perfuma were hanging out around the ashes of the bonfire, and Perfuma waved. “Adora! Do you want some homemade granola?” She held up a paper bag and shook it invitingly. Considering Adora’s stomach was still rather upset with her, she really wanted to shake her head, but Perfuma’s big smile was hard to say no to.

Glimmer came over and grabbed some granola from Perfuma’s stash, and Adora saw Bow go over to rescue Seahawk from the tent that had apparently completely consumed him.

“This is delicious,” Glimmer said as she stuffed her face.

“It’s my own recipe,” Perfuma beamed and looked to her bench buddy. “Scorpia helped with this batch.”

Scorpia blushed and said something sweet back to Perfuma. It made Adora’s already unsettled stomach twist, and she grabbed a handful of granola from the bag in a last-ditch effort to calm it. She nibbled at a piece, disturbed to discover that it was not a crunchy bit of cereal but was, in fact, a very chewy raisin.

“Yeah, it’s...good,” Adora said, swallowing the unwelcome raisin.

“Where’s Catra?” Scorpia asked, looking to Adora.

“She had to head out,” Glimmer answered.

Perfuma frowned. “Did she say why?”

“Did she, Adora?”

Why was everybody asking _her_ where Catra was? Adora wasn’t a babysitter. Catra was perfectly capable of going wherever she wanted whenever she wanted. She didn’t need a permission slip.

“She texted me. Octavia needed her,” Adora replied.

“Who?”

“Catra.”

Perfuma laughed. “I meant who is Octavia?”

“Oh. Her boss at the music store.”

“What?!” Scorpia exclaimed suddenly. Adora nearly threw her fistful of granola into the air in surprise. “She told you something about her job? You got her boss’ _entire name?”_

“I think it's just her first name--”

“Man, I’ve been trying to figure out what store she works at since she started.”

Perfuma leaned in conspiratorially. “We were going to send her a congratulatory Edible Arrangement at her building.”

Adora raised an eyebrow. “Like, the fruit basket things?”

“Yes! Who doesn’t like getting surprised with fresh honeydew melon and chocolate covered strawberries?”

“Um, honeydew’s the green one, right? Catra’s allergic.”

Scorpia gasped. “She is? I can’t believe I didn’t know that. As her roommate, I should absolutely know that.” She gasped again, louder and twice as dramatic. “I’ve been keeping honeydew in our fridge for months. Not the same honeydew. Different ones. But so many of them! Gah, what else do I not know?” She bolted up from her seat.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Scorpia. She doesn’t care if other people eat it.” 

Still spiraling, Scorpia grabbed Adora’s shoulders. “How do you know all these things?”

Adora shrugged. “She told me.”

Scorpia narrowed her eyes.

“It came with something I ordered last time we went out to eat,” Adora said, for some reason compelled to offer additional explanation. She got the strong feeling that Scorpia didn’t like her very much, though she wasn’t sure why. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to continue and tell the group that Catra’s casual revealing of her allergy had led Adora to avoid eating the fruit cup altogether because she didn’t want kissing to be off the table for the rest of the night. Catra had noticed, laughed, and explained that it really wasn’t that severe. As long as she didn’t eat it herself, she’d avoid the mild itching at the back of her throat. Out of caution, Adora had still eaten around the melon.

“Adora,” Glimmer said. Her tone indicated that any interest she had in talking granola or melon had evaporated. “Did you say Catra texted you?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t think that’s a little weird?”

“What do you mean?” Adora asked. She was trying to figure out a good way to get rid of the rest of the granola, but no solution presented itself. 

Scorpia jumped in. “Yeah, what _do_ you mean?” She sounded much more accusatory than Adora had. Odd. Adora didn't know her well, but she usually wasn't so confrontational. 

“Oh, nothing,” Glimmer said, waving it off. “It’s probably nothing.”

Adora definitely wasn’t awake enough for whatever this conversation was about to become. “Okay,” she said, hoping it would be the end. 

“It’s just,” Gilmmer started again, “don’t you think it’s a little strange to leave suddenly and text the person you were sharing a tent with?”

“She probably just didn’t want to wake me up,” Adora said.

“Yeah,” Scorpia reinforced. Adora didn’t think she really needed a hypewoman for this, but she wasn’t mad about it.

“Honestly, I’m glad she didn’t wake me up at five in the morning,” Adora mused.

“Wait, _five?”_ Glimmer repeated.

“That’s when her message was from.”

“And you’re not worried about that,” Glimmer said, stating her question more so than asking.

“Should I be?” Adora was starting to get annoyed. She really wasn’t sure why Glimmer was so hung up on this - if Catra needed to leave, that was her business.

“Wait, you don’t think Catra’s in trouble, do you?” Scorpia asked.

Glimmer frowned. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

Adora hated when Glimmer got like this. She’d skirt around whatever she was trying to say until someone asked her directly, and it was annoying as hell. “Glimmer, what are you saying?”

“Yeah, what are you saying?” Scorpia piggybacked.

Glimmer cast a glare at Scorpia, then turned back to Adora. “Most music stores don’t open before the sun’s even up.”

Adora scoffed. “Have you been to every music store?”

Whatever Glimmer was getting at, Scorpia wasn’t having a second of it. “Hey, Catra works super hard. She probably went in early to fix some extra-important guitars, or...I don’t know, emergency tune a piano. That could be a thing.”

“Yeah. Totally,” Glimmer agreed with a tight smile. “Forget I said anything.”

Like Adora had thought multiple times already that morning, Catra could make her own decisions. Obviously. She didn’t owe Adora anything, not even an explanation. Yet, she’d given one - which, now that Adora was thinking about it, didn’t make a ton of sense. But who was Adora to question it? She wouldn’t have given it a second thought if Glimmer hadn’t brought it up.

Catra wouldn’t have lied, right? Why would she have made up an excuse to leave before Adora woke up? That didn’t make any sense.

Not that it bothered Adora. At all. “It’s fine,” she said.

Glimmer put a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “Are you sure?”

“Weren’t we leaving?”

She looked to Bow and Seahawk, who had both vanished inside the crumpled tent. Mermista was standing some distance away taking selfies - and considering the angle, the tent fiasco would probably be in the background. Knowing her, it was on purpose.

Once everything was packed up and Adora gave Bow her share of Perfuma’s granola, they all piled into their respective cars and headed out.

Glimmer was usually focused when she was driving, but rarely was she silent.

Bow kept peeking back at Adora in the rearview mirror. At first, she assumed she just had a very prominent hickey, but his expression kept growing a little bit more watery and concerned each time.

By the third mile, Adora couldn’t take the tension anymore. “Bow.”

“Okay, hear me out,” he blurted.

“What?” Adora mumbled.

“You seem a little grumpy. Are you sure you’re not angry that Catra left?” he asked slowly.

Adora snapped. “Why is everyone being weird about that? She had to go to work.”

“Because,” Glimmer cut in, “you’re doing that thing where you act like everything is fine even though she clearly made up an excuse to leave without saying goodbye.”

“She did say--” Adora stopped herself. Technically, Glimmer was right, but the ghost of the kiss left on Adora’s forehead lingered. For some reason, remembering it made her temper flare when it should have made her stomach flutter. Probably just the marshmallows again. “I told you. She texted me. If she said she had to go, I believe her.”

“You don’t have to be okay with it,” Bow said.

At least he sounded sympathetic, though that wasn’t much consolation. The more Adora thought about it, the more she realized that he might have been onto something. Hadn’t Catra said that she wanted to know if she ever upset Adora? Then again, was she really upset, or was she just tired?

Glimmer looked back in the mirror this time, wearing a similar expression as Bow. She stayed quiet.

Maybe Adora had been right not to push Catra to come on this trip - maybe she’d even been wrong to tell Catra about it in the first place. Just like Adora had feared, it had been too much. She’d been too much, pushing Catra to be more open.

At least now she knew Catra’s limit. She just hoped that whatever line they’d crossed could be uncrossed, hopefully without some big, painful conversation.

Space. Adora would give her space and time, however much she needed. She’d let Catra reach out again on her own terms if and when she felt comfortable, if and when whatever happened had passed. Adora wouldn’t push her again. If this was the result, she didn’t want to risk it.

A few days passed of radio silence, but it wasn’t necessarily unusual for them to go a few of days without texting each other.

Okay, it totally was. One or two days wasn't unusual, but four? Six?

By Wednesday, Adora was jumping on her phone every time it pinged, and each time it wasn’t Catra, the pit in her stomach became a little harder to ignore.

It didn’t help that Adora had no Friday night plans for the first time in weeks, which would have been a very welcome distraction. She tried texting Perfuma and Mermista to see if they were free, but they’d said something about watching a once-in-a-lifetime meteor shower with their scientist college roommate and stopped responding. Glimmer was working late running an orientation event for her mother’s nonprofit group and Bow was Skyping with his dads, which left Adora with very few options. As in...none.

She spent an hour making smoothies for the next week, but meal prepping wasn’t the most thought-consuming process. To avoid thinking about the one person she really shouldn’t have wanted to text so badly, Adora resorted to listing nutritional fun facts about each of her smoothie ingredients to herself.

Chia seeds could be mixed with water to make an effective egg substitute for some vegan recipes.

Blueberries were rich in antioxidants and supposedly helped with anxiety. Adora added an extra handful.

Spirulina helped improve muscular endurance and was actually a kind of cyanobacteria. It was naturally bluish-green in color, almost like Catra’s eye under the sunset.

Nope. Adora was getting distracted again.

She was not going to let herself think about sunsets, or the woods, or Catra’s eyes, or Catra’s hands--

“Strawberries have more Vitamin C than oranges per serving,” Adora muttered to herself.

\--or Catra’s lips dragging over her neck--

Adora forced the thought out of her head, but it didn’t stop her body from responding. Just the thought of what had happened in the tent was enough to make Adora’s face flush. Her eyes drifted shut, and she braced her palms against the countertop as she remembered the feeling of Catra at her back, keeping her quiet while working her up until her throat burned raw and her blood caught fire. Then she’d done it again, barely a moment’s respite between one scream and the next--

“Bananas are berries,” Adora blurted out.

“Um, Adora?”

Bow’s interruption startled her into knocking the blender over. It clattered against the counter and started to roll off the edge. She barely caught it in time.

“Hey, Bow,” she said, turning around and tossing the bullet-sized blender between her hands as casually as she could. “Did you know bananas are berries?”

“I did. Perfuma likes to throw that one out at parties.”

“Wild, right?” She nearly dropped the blender and figured it might actually be safer on the countertop. “How are George and Lance?”

“Good,” he said. “They wanted me to check if you’re eating enough fiber.”

“Weird question.”

“They’re dads,” he shrugged.

“Ha, yeah, they sure are,” Adora said.

Bow narrowed his eyes at her. “You okay?”

Just then, the front door opened and Glimmer came in, sopping wet. “I am _starving._ Do thunderstorms make anybody else inexplicably super hungry?”

Adora was pretty much always hungry, so she nodded.

“What are you doing?” Glimmer asked, looking directly at Adora and then to the row of a dozen smoothies lining the counter. Before Adora could come up with an answer that didn’t make her sound completely ridiculous, Glimmer came into the kitchen, wet shoes and all. She never came inside without taking her shoes off (apparently it was a thing at her parents’ house).

“Okay, Adora? This needs to stop,” Glimmer said firmly.

“Do you have something against smoothies?” Adora asked, crossing her arms.

“You know I resent that accusation, but I am not letting you bait me. You’ve been acting like bizarro-Adora all week.”

Adora crossed her arms. “I have not.”

“How many times did you go to the gym?”

“I don’t know. Four. That’s totally normal.”

“I said how many times. Not how many days.”

Adora thought for a moment. She had doubled up on Tuesday. And today. And maybe Monday and Thursday.

“We think you might be avoiding something,” Bow said. “So if you want to talk about it, we’re here for you, okay?”

“I’m not avoiding anything,” Adora insisted. “There’s nothing to avoid.”

Glimmer scoffed. “Sure.”

“You know, I’m getting really tired of you not just saying what you mean,” Adora snapped.

“Fine!” Glimmer shouted. “You want me to be honest? You’ve been acting like a hamster trapped in one of those little plastic wheels since the camping trip fiasco, and you need to call Catra and talk about whatever happened between you two before our blender bursts into flames!”

Adora stared at her seventh smoothie.

“What did happen, Adora?” Bow asked.

“Nothing happened, okay?” Adora said, her voice rising involuntarily. “It doesn’t matter.”

Glimmer and Bow were both quiet for a moment.

Then, quietly, Glimmer said: “Oh my god. Did you tell her?”

“Tell her what?!” Adora exclaimed, ready to tear her hair out.

Bow and Glimmer looked at each other, another conversation Adora wasn’t privy to. How come she was the only one who never knew what was going on, even when they were talking about her? _Especially_ when they were talking about her?

“I don’t know why she left, okay? But clearly something happened, and she doesn’t want to talk about it, and I’m not going to bother her because--” Adora cut herself off.

“Because...?” Bow prompted.

“Because I’m mad at her, too.” It wasn’t a fun thing to admit, but she felt a little better saying it out loud. Catra had hurt her feelings by leaving, and Adora couldn’t help but worry that she’d done something to prompt it. That was it. That was all she needed to say - but the pit in her stomach didn’t shrink. 

Glimmer looked like she was about ready to toilet paper Catra’s front yard. “You have every right to be upset with her, Adora.”

“Of course,” Bow added. “it’s frustrating to try and talk to someone who has a habit of dodging important discussions.”

Adora looked between them. She wasn’t sure that was what she’d said, but Glimmer was rubbing the back of her neck and looking away like she’d found Bow’s implication to be more than a little pointed and accusatory. Maybe they were so eager to help with her problems because they needed something to draw their attention away from their own. Either way, Adora would take any advice she could get.

“Is it messed up that I want to see her again?” Adora asked.

“Yes,” Glimmer said, at the same time that Bow said, “No!”

If they couldn’t agree on an answer, maybe it wasn’t so straightforward.

“Either way,” Bow began, “you guys need to talk about it. Whether you feel like giving her another chance is up to you.”

“She’s not the only one who screwed up,” Adora continued, hugging herself. “I must have done something to scare her off like that.”

“You could ask her.”

“No,” Adora said quickly.

“Why not?” Glimmer asked.

Adora wanted to explain why talking it out wasn’t a good option, but the more she tried to riddle it out, the less it made sense in her own head.

Bow put a hand on Adora’s forearm. “You could try calling her.”

“It is Friday night,” Glimmer added. “I’m surprised she’s not here already.”

“I guess I wasn’t sure she’d want to see me again,” Adora said softly.

“You won’t know unless you ask,” Bow said. Ironic, coming from him. “Give yourself some credit, Adora. She likes you enough to go camping with you. I think she can handle one intense conversation about feelings. It’s all about communication.”

Adora wasn’t sure _she_ could handle such a conversation, but the idea of just hearing Catra’s voice was more than a little appealing.

“Glimmer and I can go hang out and give you guys some privacy,” he offered.

“Ooh, tacos?” Glimmer suggested.

“From the food truck in the park?”

“Yes!”

“Absolutely.”

Sometimes, they made it look so easy. 

Adora crammed most of her smoothies into the fridge and took the last two that wouldn’t fit up to her room.

Maybe she could call Catra. Just to clear the air. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

What if she didn’t pick up? It could mean a lot of things: she could be working, or busy, or have no desire to speak to Adora ever again. Really, any of those could have been true. Adora tried not to consider the possibility that she might be busy with someone else - whatever conversation they had would be a whole lot more awkward if Adora’s call interrupted something akin to what had gone on in their tent.

Adora fell back into the feverish memories from that night, and she considered delaying her call by a few minutes. If all she could think about while talking to Catra was that voice whispering into her ear from behind, inviting her to let go, she might forget that she was supposed to be mad.

Before she had made up her mind, she realized that her hand was sneaking lower.

Alright, fine. She was allowed to do this. Maybe she didn’t have to think about Catra - they hadn’t even been looking at each other. The sensations would be enough.

She let all of the images, sounds, and feelings rush back. It hit her like a wave breaking against the shore, letting her fingers glide more easily. Without someone else’s hand over her mouth this time, she bit down on her own forearm. Normally, she wasn’t loud on her own, but she didn’t trust herself against these memories.

Adora was back in the tent, body heat enveloping her from behind as pressure built low in her abdomen. It would be over too soon, but she couldn’t hold herself back. She didn’t want to. Every time that rough, smug voice asked her if it felt good, all she could do was moan louder. Adora couldn’t mimic that perfect touch, but it was good enough to push her further, make her groan. “Shhh,” the voice insisted. “Are you going to behave or make me stop?” Adora shook her head - of course she didn’t want those fingers to stop. All she wanted was this, was fire and warmth and no end to either. The urge to cry out hit her, but the hand stifled it into a quiet sob.

The voice was back, saying her name, coaxing her closer to the edge, but Adora’s fingers fumbled.

If she let the scene play out in her head, she’d get to the end - but could she risk that? Even if she was the only one who knew, would getting off to the memory of screaming Catra’s name into her palm be too much to live down?

Her body should have been able to get where it wanted to go at this point without needing her brain to guide it. Her fingers moved faster and faster and it was almost enough, but the dull ache in her wrist pulled her back like a shirt snagged on a door hinge. She tried to adjust, but now the angle was wrong.

Would it really be so bad? To let the memory bring her over?

The faint smell of bonfire smoke under sweat. A sharp pressure against her neck. Her hand slipped from her mouth across her jaw to the still-sore spot, and her thumb pushed against it ever so slightly. It was something - but it wasn’t the same. How unfair, to be alone and at the mercy of someone else’s touch.

Adora bit her lip, shifting her hips and hoping to hit something that would send the same jolt up her spine as that voice. No matter how many times she told herself to let go, she couldn’t convince herself to do it. All she needed to do - she knew - was go back, let a few words sink into her, and she’d be free.

“Aww, come on, Adora,” the voice taunted.

She groaned, her other hand coming to grasp the sheets instead of clawing at bare flesh.

“If you want it so bad, all you have to do is ask.”

Easier said than done with a hand slapped over her mouth, but she’d still managed to communicate as much in the tent. What was stopping her now?

“Just say it.”

The name slipped out, muffled and desperate. It should have been enough - she watched herself come undone in the memory, but she couldn’t follow. When the second wave came and went, she gave up.

She let her hand fall onto the blanket and stared up at the ceiling.

Not thinking about Catra didn’t work, and deliberately thinking about Catra didn’t work, either. Adora might not have been upset at the Catra that had been holding her in the memory, but that couldn’t erase how she felt now. Confused. Frustrated. Hurt. She just needed to say it.

After a minute, her head was still spinning, and halfway through her second smoothie, she wasn’t feeling any more grounded.

And she wasn’t thinking about Catra any less.

She’d send a text. Much less demanding. Besides, who called anymore?

A few seconds after Adora sent the message, her phone rang. Not pinged - rang. Apparently one person still called. Catra was starting to seem hell-bent on being unpredictable in every way.

“Hello?” Adora answered.

_“Hey.”_

One syllable was all it took for Adora’s heart to stop and restart.

“I was just thinking about you,” Adora said. That sounded a little cheesier than she would have liked, but it wasn’t a lie. Also, she really hoped Catra didn’t ask why she’d been thinking of her.

_“Really?”_

“Are you doing anything right now?” She tried to sound chill about the question, but her voice definitely squeaked a little at the end there. If might have been embarrassing if it wasn’t so overshadowed by what she’d just been doing.

_“I’m pretty sure talking to you qualifies as doing something.”_

“Oh,” Adora laughed awkwardly. She really should have prepared index cards for this. “I wanted to say hi.”

_“You’re not sick of me after last weekend?”_

“What? No way.” Adora paused. She might as well get this over with. “I mean, I’m not the one who left early.”

Catra sighed.

Adora swallowed hard. Why did she think she could do this? She seriously had no clue what she was doing. “It’s fine. Did everything go okay at the shop?”

 _“Uh...yeah.”_ Catra didn’t say anything else, but at least she was still there. The longer Adora went without saying anything else, the less convinced she was by her own dismissal. Somehow, it was happening again - she was completely unmoored, even in the midst of a conversation she’d initiated.

Adora took a deep breath. She didn’t really have anything to lose by being honest here. Worst case scenario, Catra hung up and never talked to her again (she really didn’t want to think about that). 

“Actually, Catra, it’s not fine. What you did, it--it hurt, okay? I don’t know what happened, but if I said something that freaked you out, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk to me.”

_“Adora, stop. Don’t do that.”_

“Don’t do what?” Now she really had no clue what she’d done.

 _“Why the hell are you sorry? God, that’s--fuck, this is so messed up.”_ Catra paused briefly, taking a shaking breath. _“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who was an idiot. It’s not your job to deal with my bullshit. I’m sorry I forced you to.”_

“Why did you leave?” Adora asked, not recognizing how small her voice sounded.

 _“It was just too much, okay?”_ Catra’s voice cracked over the last word.

Too much, too much, too much. There it was, as obvious as a burning building.

Adora had never been enough for something real with anyone, and now she was too much for casual, too.

Oh, fuck. Had she really called Catra _baby?_

How stupid could she be?

_“Adora?”_

“Okay,” Adora said - and hung up.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry
> 
> nobody's madder at me than me, but we gotta go thru this
> 
> stay strong, wooluhwoos and associates


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my darlings <3
> 
> the previous chapter has...almost 100 comments on it?? which is blowing my mind a little?? 
> 
> also some lovely people on tumblr have made some [super](https://mcalexburger.tumblr.com/post/622716078465941504/she-braced-her-palms-against-the-countertop-as-she) [cute](https://clar-a-m.tumblr.com/post/622392117877178368/spent-the-weekend-reading-this-catradora-fic-by) [art](https://glutenfreerye.tumblr.com/post/621389115412332544/i-really-wanted-to-draw-something-from-kienavas) of this!! which is also blowing my mind!!

Catra threw her phone at her headboard, and a piece of the fake wood chipped off.

Then she grabbed her pillow and screamed into it.

There was a knock at her door. Of course Scorpia had heard.

“Catra?” she said softly, cracking the door open.

“Get out,” Catra snarled.

“Okay, I’m gonna not do that, because you seem like you need some mild to moderate friendship right now and also maybe also a hug.”

Catra whirled around. “Don’t you dare.”

“Too late! I’m bringin’ it in.” Scorpia was already coming at her, arms outstretched. Before Catra could dodge, two very large arms were lifting her off the ground and squeezing the air right out of her lungs.

“Scorpia,” Catra managed.

After another second, Scorpia put her down. “How are we feeling? Supported? Uplifted? Hah, get it?”

“Yes, I’m great. That fixed everything. Now leave.”

“Whoa, fix? What needs fixing? Besides that little dent in your headboard.”

Catra pressed her fingers to her temple. “Nothing.”

“Come on. I think it’s time for a Super Pal Duo chat,” Scorpia invited, waving towards their small living room. “I just popped the electric kettle on. Can I getcha a tea? Hot chocolate? Tiny marshmallows optional.”

Did she have to mention marshmallows? When had everything started to remind Catra of Adora? 

The electric kettle started to boil and gurgle, summoning Scorpia back to the kitchen.

Completely lacking the energy required to resist this tea time incursion, Catra flopped down onto her bed face-first.

She’d fucked up. Never before had she fucked up this badly. Certain terrible people in her past had tried to convince her that she had, and she’d believed them against all logic and truth. This time, though - this time, it was well and truly her fault. For so many reasons, she’d convinced herself that Adora deserved someone better, and then she’d made sure that prophecy came true.

Adora texting out of the blue was certainly a surprise. Catra hadn’t even stopped to consider what she might say when she picked up the phone, and before she knew it she was dialing Adora's number. Ultimately, she ended up telling the truth - it had all been too much - but it was more like the truth viewed through a sharp and obscuring bramble patch. Realizing that she was in love with Adora had been more than she could handle, and she’d thought she’d been doing them both a favor by breaking away so definitively. But her chest had been tight all week, and worse, she’d hurt Adora.

Catra was an idiot. She’d done the stupidest possible thing she could’ve done by running away, and now she was alone.

Good. She deserved it.

“It’s chamomile o’clock! Oh, yeah!”

Well. Maybe she wasn’t completely alone, no matter how much she wished she was.

Scorpia’s relentless positivity had only gotten worse when she started dating Perfuma. It was like they’d never left their initial honeymoon phase, and Catra absolutely could not deal with it right now. She felt the bed dip next to her, and she knew she wasn’t getting out of this.

“Here we go,” Scorpia said. “I stuck with the standard blend. Wasn’t sure how you feel about lavender. You’re not secretly allergic, are you?”

Catra sat up and accepted the mug of tea with all the enthusiasm she would offer a glass of swamp water. “Why are you doing this?”

Scorpia shrugged. “You seem sad. And when you’re sad, I’m sad. That’s just the way it works, Wildcat. Roommate telepathy.” She slurped her tea. “Gah, that is hot. Do not recommend doing that. We’re gonna wanna wait a solid two to five minutes.”

Part of Catra was tempted to drink the scalding tea anyway out of some messed up compulsion to punish herself, but she didn’t.

She placed the mug on her nightstand and curled her legs up into her chest. With her chin resting glumly on her knees, she knew she wasn’t doing much to counter Scorpia’s theory about how down she was feeling.

“Hey, how’s Adora?” Scorpia asked.

Catra growled.

“Whoa, okay. Clearly that’s a sore subject. What’s going on? I thought you two were having a great time.”

“We were,” Catra said, giving no further explanation.

“Ah, shoot. Did something happen?”

Too many things. Even if she’d wanted to talk about it, there was no good place to start. “It’s just not working out.”

“Man, that’s tough.”

“Yeah.”

Without invitation, Scorpia crossed her legs up on the bed. “My bad. I only brought her up ‘cause I thought it would make you smile. Since, you know, that’s what you’re usually doing when she’s around.”

Catra glared, but it was true. What else was she supposed to do when the prettiest, kindest, unwittingly sweetest girl on the planet was standing right next to her? Or blowing on burning marshmallows across a bonfire? Or kissing her until the early hours of the morning?

“Oh, yup, there it is,” Scorpia said, pointing at Catra’s face.

“What?” Catra wiped her expression back into a scowl.

“Can’t fool me. I saw that little tiny baby smile.”

“Whatever.” Catra turned and lay down, letting her legs fall over the side. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters.”

Catra rolled to face the headboard and mashed her nose into her pillow. “No, it doesn’t,” she said, muffled.

“Okay. You leave me no choice,” Scorpia said ominously. Catra felt her rise off the bed.

She expected to be swaddled in a blanket, carried out of her room against her will, and forced to watch a bad romantic comedy with a pint of ice cream melting in her lap. That was Scorpia’s standard protocol every time Catra broke up with someone or had a particularly bad day at her former job (suburban grocery store customers were a special breed of nasty). Scorpia usually cried at the movies she picked despite having seen them several times before, and Catra eventually had fun making fun of how stupid all of the characters were. The entire movie could be over in two minutes if they just talked to each other.

Now, she understood how hard it was to be honest about some things, and she mentally apologized to every rom-com idiot she’d ever roasted.

Apparently, Scorpia had a different plan for this particular situation. She was dialing someone on FaceTime - for a moment, Catra dreaded that it might have been Adora. It wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibility with Scorpia. Whoever it was, they answered fast.

_“Scorpia?”_

Scorpia’s grin was clear in her voice. “Perfuma! How’s that meteor shower?”

_“It’s beautiful! Entrapta’s getting some incredible photos.”_

Someone cackled in the distant background: _“This is the greatest night of my entire life!”_

 _“She’s having quite a ball,”_ Perfuma said with a nervous chuckle. _“I can’t talk for too long. Mermista fell asleep, and Entrapta probably shouldn’t be alone in the observatory for too long. Did you need something, honey?”_

“Real quick, can you just tell Catra her feelings matter?” Scorpia answered.

_“Catra, your feelings--wait, where is she?”_

Catra glanced back over her shoulder. Scorpia had turned the phone towards her, and now Perfuma’s permanently smiling face was looking right at Catra’s pathetic, crumpled form.

The voice came through the phone again. _“Catra, sweetie, what’s going on?”_

“Leave me alone!” Catra yelled into her pillow. How many times did she need to say it?

_“I’m afraid we can’t do that.”_

“Right,” Scorpia agreed. “At least not until you stop shouting at your pillow. Unless the pillow is the reason you’re upset, in which case I am absolutely prepared to give it a piece of my mind.” Suddenly, Scorpia gasped. “Catra. This isn’t about the honeydew, is it?”

That convinced Catra to roll over just so she could give her roommate her best what the fuck look.

“Alright, phew. Thank goodness. Had to check. You know, when Adora mentioned you’re allergic, I--”

“She remembered that?” Catra interrupted. Despite everything, it tugged at something in her chest. Dammit. The last thing she needed right now was a reminder of how considerate Adora could be.

 _“Of course she remembered,”_ Perfuma said. _“She cares about you.”_

“Not anymore,” Catra said caustically.

“What d'you mean by that?” Scorpia asked.

Catra hesitated. She really, really didn’t want to talk about this, and she could already feel the urge to cry threatening to burst every cell in her body.

 _“People don’t just stop caring about each other,”_ Perfuma went on. _“Whatever happened, I’m sure you can talk through it.”_

“Easy for you to say,” Catra bit back.

 _“I suppose.”_ Perfuma laughed. _“Scorpia and I have talked about pretty much everything. It took breaking up to figure out how important it was for us to communicate openly and without judgment.”_

Wait, what? “You broke up?”

“Twice,” Scorpia said. “Worst day and a half and two weeks of my life. Alright, well, that might be a teensy exaggeration. But I was pretty darn sad! I think I even screamed into a pillow or two.”

“When?” Catra asked, still shocked. She couldn’t imagine Scorpia doing anything that might have so blatantly offended a pillow (or any other inanimate object for that matter).

“Hmm. First time was around two months in, and the second was about a month and a half after that.”

_“We both had some things to work through.”_

“Oof. We sure did. But now it’s been...wow, almost two years.”

Catra picked at a thread on her comforter. First Bow and Glimmer couldn’t figure their shit out, and now Scorpia and Perfuma had a history of breaking up multiple times? Did any of Catra’s friends actually know how relationships were supposed to work?

There was a strange, metallic clattering sound from Perfuma’s end of the call, followed by a very irritated, sleepy voice grumbling, _“Uuuuuuuugh! Entrapta, are you kidding me?”_

_“Uhh...my bad?”_

Perfuma looked at whatever was going on behind her. _“I should probably go see what that’s all about. Remember, Catra, keep your heart open. It’s worth it!”_

“Thanks, Perfuma.” Scorpia kissed the phone screen.

_“Happy to help. Oh, are you still up for hosting game night tomorrow?”_

“You know it!”

_“Great. See you then. Bye, love!”_

Once Scorpia had hung up and wiped off her phone on her shirt, she turned to Catra. “Wow. Isn't Perfuma the best?”

It was pretty hard to hate someone who was nothing but kind and sunny all the time. 

“Oh, man. I’ve never hosted game night before. This is a big deal, Catra. All of Perfuma’s friends? Coming here? To our apartment?”

While being surrounded by Adora’s likely furious friend group sounded like Catra’s current personal hell, even the ever-amicable Scorpia sounded nervous. Why was she so concerned? Game night shouldn’t have been such a big deal. Perfuma adored her. Same with every member of the pep squad pals - although Mermista wouldn’t be caught dead included under that label. As far as Catra could see, they treated Scorpia like she’d been around forever.

Come to think of it, most of them treated Catra that way, too. Before Catra went and ruined it, at least. Maybe Glimmer had been right about her influence on Adora being a bad thing this whole time.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Please. Like you have anything to worry about.”

Scorpia shook her head. “Agh, you’re right. But what about the snacks? We have to have snacks, don’t we? What do you think people will like? Chips? A nice, classy cheese board? Ooh, I could make doughnuts. Though that might take away from my cheese shopping time.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I should write all this down, get a list of options going. Thoughts on gruyere versus brie?”

“Why should I care? I’m not going.”

“...You kinda live here.”

Catra shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll go hang out somewhere else.”

“Would that change if I told you I’m planning something very special? Involving a ring, perhaps?”

Whoa. “Shit. Seriously?”

“Everything has to be perfect,” Scorpia said. “I want all of our friends to be here. Including you. And Adora.”

Scorpia stared at her. 

“What?” Catra growled, uncomfortable.

“You should invite Adora.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Okay, okay. Why?”

“I’m not inviting her.”

“Just text her! Go with a nice, simple ‘Hey, my best pal who gives great hugs and hosts awesome friendship gatherings is having a game night at our place tomorrow and you should come over so we can resolve all of our mysterious issues through Uno and Pictionary.’”

Catra took a breath, winded just from hearing that sentence. “I can’t tell you how much none of that is happening.”

“Why not?”

“Uh, because it all sounds horrible?” She loved Uno, but she couldn’t reveal that now. It would undermine her entire argument against wanting to go to game night.

Scorpia scooted a little closer to her. “You really don’t want to invite her?”

Catra tore the thread she’d been picking at right out of the blanket. 

A pause. Then, Scorpia said, “Look, Wildcat, I don’t know what happened, but--”

“I fucked up, okay?!”

She expected tears to come rushing up, but they didn’t. The admission was too fresh and raw to hurt yet, like the shock after cracking a rib. No doubt it would be twice as painful later.

Leaving had been bad, but Catra had done something so much worse. She’d tricked herself into believing this whole stupid ruse could work, that she could keep her feelings contained well enough that neither she nor Adora would get hurt. That had been her first mistake, and from there everything had spiraled. The second she’d felt something spark in that locker room, she should have run.

“That’s what happened, okay? I got scared, and I fucked up, and now Adora hates me. I’m such an idiot.” She hadn’t meant to say that last part, but it had slipped out.

Scorpia sat up straighter, and the extra height made her approach intimidating. “First of all, I’m gonna need you to stop talking about my best friend like that.”

“It’s true, Scorpia.”

“Did she say she hates you?”

Technically, no, but--

Scorpia kept talking before Catra could argue. “I won’t pretend that I know what’s going on completely - because, wow, clearly I sure the heck don’t - but I’m positive that Adora doesn’t hate you. Have you seen the way she looks at you?”

Catra frowned. “That’s just her face.”

“Yeah, when she’s _looking at you._ From where I’m sitting, which is right here, it seems like this whole thing with her stopped being ‘casual’ a while ago.”

Catra blinked as she thought about that. She’d known her own feelings stretched well beyond the realm of friends-with-benefits, but was she really that obvious? If she was, had Adora noticed? If what Scorpia was saying was true in the slightest, why hadn’t Adora said anything?

Fear. Embarrassment. Any number of the same reasons that Catra had kept quiet herself.

Scorpia continued, “That’s how I knew I wanted to try harder with Perfuma. Near the end of our second breakup, you know what Seahawk said to me? He asked me why I’d stopped singing along with him in the car on our grocery runs. That was when I knew.”

Catra didn’t understand the point. She also made a mental note to herself never to ride in a car with Seahawk.

“When you love someone, they make your world a little brighter, and then if you lose that, things seem a lot more gray than they were before. It’s like when you walk outside on a really sunny day, then go back inside, and everything seems super dark. You know what I mean?”

“Hang on,” Catra said. “You realized you were in love with Perfuma because you stopped singing along to Seahawk’s shitty music?”

“He’s actually real big on Top 40.”

“Like I said.”

Scorpia shrugged. “How did you know you were in love with Adora?”

Catra froze, feeling like she’d just been hit with a bolt of lightning. She swore her heart stopped. “I’m not.”

“Hm,” was all Scorpia said.

“I’m not!” Catra hit her roommate in the back of the head with a pillow. 

Scorpia threw an arm around Catra’s shoulders. “I think you kind of owe me one for not mentioning the honeydew thing.”

Catra wriggled out of Scorpia’s grasp and sat all the way up at the head of her bed on top of her other pillow. She tried to ignore the warmth in her chest as the memories blossomed like zinnias in the back of her mind. She’d felt it so many times, in so many little ways, but it had taken waking up next to Adora in a tent at 4:32 a.m. for her to admit to herself what that warmth meant.

She hugged herself tightly. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve her.”

“What?”

“She just...she’s perfect.”

Scorpia threw her arms in the air. “Nobody’s perfect. Man, can you imagine how boring that would be?”

“Adora’s not boring,” Catra said, defensive for no good reason.

“Exactly! Which means she’s not perfect, and you definitely don’t not deserve her.”

Scorpia’s logic didn’t make sense at all, but she was utterly confident in her conclusion.

“If you’re still beating yourself up and Adora’s also upset, she might be in the same boat as you - or, more like a different boat on the same river, since, you know, if you guys were in the same boat, you’d probably be having a lot less trouble talking to each other. Right now it’s like you’re trying to shout through a thunderstorm and hearing every other word. Literally, I guess, since that’s what’s going on outside. Wow. Really brought that one full circle.”

At this rate, Catra was going to hit her daily glare quota in the next two minutes.

“Listen, all I’m saying is you never really know what someone else is thinking unless you ask ‘em,” Scorpia concluded.

With that, something clicked. Maybe that was why Adora was always asking Catra if she was okay. She never assumed anything, simply took Catra’s words at face value. Respecting Catra’s space and feelings had been Adora’s clear priority since the very first time they met, confrontation at the punching bag notwithstanding.

At the very least, Catra owed Adora the same respect, even if breaking those old, bad habits was proving to be a whole lot harder than she would have liked. If she wanted honesty from Adora, she was going to have to give the same in return, and that was going to hurt a whole lot more than running away.

Catra had let fear get the better of her, and she’d acted out because of it. Deciding to change her ways wasn’t going to be like flipping a switch. It would have to be a series of deliberate choices. She was going to have to take some accountability for what she’d done and resolve to do better going forward - though whether or not Adora would be willing to hear her out was a whole other question. Some part of Catra hoped that this wouldn't be the end for them, but she wouldn't fault Adora for walking away. Regardless of what happened, Catra had to try.

“So is that a maybe on inviting her to game night?” Scorpia said.

Catra sighed. “Still no.”

“Alrighty. Then we’ll get someone else to do it.”

“No, Scorpia, wait--”

Scorpia called into the other room. “Alexa, call GlimBow!”

_“Calling Big Bowl Noodles and Fusion Restaurant.”_

“Alexa, noooo!”

As Scorpia hustled out of the room and ended up ordering an astonishing quantity of noodles out of guilt over her misdial, Catra sat with their conversation. She didn’t usually go to Scorpia for advice (and technically had not done so this time, either, considering Scorpia had broken into her room), but it had helped her figure something out. Being honest wasn’t going to be fun, but she cared about Adora enough to do it anyway. 

Maybe Perfuma had been right after all.

Catra peeked into the kitchen once she heard Scorpia was off the phone.

“Hey, Scorpia?”

“I really hope you’re in the mood for lo mein,” Scorpia said. 

“Sorry about the allergy thing,” Catra went on. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you.” She started to close her bedroom door, but she paused. “Also, you should check out Rae’s Music Shop sometime.”

Scorpia looked dumbstruck. Then she absolutely beamed. “I absolutely will check it out! Wait, how’s that spelled? Is it Ray with an A-Y? Or an E in the middle? Ooh, R-E-Y-E? Can you write it down real quick?”

Catra rolled her eyes fondly and shut her door.

***

Normally, Adora would be very up for game night at Perfuma’s - she always had such good food - but it was hard to get in the right mood. Bow and Glimmer both seemed to be looking forward to it, and Adora was doing her best not to let her somberness rain on their excitement.

She’d been feeling off all week, and she’d given up pretending otherwise since her call with Catra. Glimmer and Bow had come home sometime while she was still up in her room crying her eyes out, but they hadn’t pried, just knocked on her door softly and left a little takeout tray with a pair of chicken tacos in it. All day Saturday, they’d kept giving her space, but that ended when she announced her intention to skip game night.

They’d been driving for awhile. Weird. Perfuma’s house was barely eight minutes away, ten with traffic. Maybe they were taking a detour to pick up snacks.

When they pulled into a familiar apartment lot a few minutes later, Adora kept her seatbelt buckled.

“Did Scorpia need a ride?” Adora asked.

Bow and Glimmer looked at each other nervously, and for the first time, Adora understood what one of their silent conversations meant.

“No. No, you guys. Are you kidding me?” she said, smacking her fist into the seat cushion next to her.

“Come on, Adora,” Bow said. “I know you don’t want to see Catra, but you’re gonna want to come with us.”

Adora shook her head vehemently. “Not happening.”

“Catra’s probably not even here.”

“I don't care.”

“But--”

“Nope.”

“Scorpia’s proposing!” Glimmer exclaimed.

“Glimmer, we weren’t supposed to say anything,” Bow chastised. “You know Adora’s a terrible actor.”

“She wasn’t going to come with us otherwise.”

“I still don’t want to go,” Adora muttered.

Glimmer turned around in the driver’s seat. “Scorpia said it would mean the world to her if we were all there. You won’t even have to look at Catra.”

“Bow, you said she wouldn’t be here!”

“I said probably,” Bow corrected. “And I also might have lied.”

“If she decides to miss her best friend getting engaged, then she really is a jerk,” Glimmer said with finality.

Adora didn’t want to do this. At all. But she also didn’t want to be on the same level as this hypothetical version of Catra who would dodge her friend’s engagement just to spare her own discomfort.

“Do it for Perfuma?” Glimmer asked.

“I am not happy about this.”

“You don’t have to be. Like we’ve been saying, you’re allowed to be mad,” Bow said.

“Well, I am. Mad.”

“Great. Are we ready to head up?” Glimmer said. She popped her door open, and Bow did the same.

Adora took a moment to sit alone in the car and realized there was very little anger simmering under her skin. Trying to stretch it into something bigger was as effective as lighting a spark on a stove that was out of gas. It would be easier if she could scrape up a little bit of hatred and use it as kindling, but she found none. All she could muster was ashes, the fragile, papery remnants of a blaze she’d doused herself.

She took a few fast, deep breaths, psyching herself up. Angry. That would be enough to get her through a couple of hours.

Scorpia answered the door, prompting someone to yell from the living room that the incoming group was shamefully late.

Netossa was sitting on the couch, both her arms spread across the backrest. “I was starting to think you guys were too scared to come after we destroyed you at Pictionary last time.”

From the kitchen, Spinnerella responded. “Darling, save the trash talk for the games.”

“Uh-uh. As soon as feet are in the door, the competition’s on.”

Scorpia ushered the new arrivals inside. “So, Perfuma’s not here yet. Mermista and Seahawk are having date night. They’ve had this dinner on a boat thing booked for months. Speaking of food, please help yourself to a tiny plateful of snacks from the kitchen. Seconds and thirds are highly encouraged. The tiny plates are just ‘cause I think they’re classy. Oh, and you can leave your shoes right here.”

Glimmer smiled up at their frazzled host. “It’s going to be fine, Scorpia.”

“Yeah. You’re right. This is all gonna go great. I’m really glad you guys are here.” She cleared her throat, apparently recalling that Adora wasn’t aware of the proposal plan. “You know, for game night. A gal’s first hosting gig is a big deal, right? Only happens once in a lifetime. Hah.”

Bow patted Scorpia’s shoulder sympathetically.

With a pleasant wave towards their little group, Spinnerella started back towards the couch with two plates of crackers and what looked like an incredibly wide selection of cheese cubes.

Adora was already beelining towards the kitchen. She couldn’t help but notice the closed door past the living room, and it made her temper flare up a little.

(Wasn't that what she was supposed to be feeling?)

Maybe Catra would stay in her room all night and Adora wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. The most irrational and insolently hopeful voice in her head wished that the door would open just for the chance to see Catra again, but Adora willed that clearly dysfunctional part of her brain to hibernate until the end of this game night. Angry - she was supposed to be angry.

At least there was cheese to distract her.

Perfuma got there a few minutes later, and all of the competitors gathered in the living room. According to Netossa, Perfuma’s tardiness meant that she had already lost the first game: being on time.

“Does that mean Scorpia won?” Perfuma asked, leaning into Scorpia’s side on the loveseat. “She was here before all of us.”

“Nope. She lives here. Automatic disqualification,” Netossa said.

Perfuma tapped her chin. “Hmm. I’m not sure I understand the rules.”

“See, you can only participate if--”

“Who wants to play a real game?” Spinnerella interrupted. She put a calming hand on Netossa’s shoulder, and Adora stared down at the plate in her lap.

“Does everybody have enough food?” Scorpia said, her voice just a little too loud.

“Can you grab me some more flax seed crackers, honey?” Perfuma asked, holding her plate up.

“Yes, I do! I mean--can do! I can getcha those crackers.” Scorpia took the plate and bolted from her seat so fast that she practically left a jet stream behind.

Perfuma took the opportunity to reach down to where Adora was sitting on the floor and tap her on the shoulder. “How have you been, Adora?”

“Fine.” False on several levels, but she didn’t want to get into it, especially not before the games had even started.

“It’s great you could make it tonight.”

“Yeah, well, no prior engagements.” Adora cringed. “I mean, I wasn’t doing anything else. Though if I was, I totally would have cancelled to be here. It’s important. Because it’s game night. Not for any other reason.”

Perfuma cocked her head. “Are you sure you're alright?”

Scorpia thankfully returned in time to keep that conversation from going any further, but it put Adora on edge. This was supposed to be about Scorpia and Perfuma. People shouldn’t have been worrying about her drama, especially Perfuma (not that she knew any better, though Adora had nearly ruined that, too).

Adora glanced at the closed door. There was no noise coming from Catra’s room - maybe she really had gone out somewhere. 

“Netossa, how come you guys dipped on the camping trip?” Bow asked.

“We’re way too old to be sleeping in a tent,” Netossa answered. “Plus, Spinny had a tenure hearing the next morning.”

“Really? Congratulations!” Glimmer said.

“I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone beforehand. I’ll find out on Tuesday,” Spinnerella said, crossing her fingers on both hands.

Netossa put an arm around her wife’s shoulders. “They’d be morons not to keep you around as long as possible.”

“I suppose that makes you pretty smart, then?”

“Exactly, I’m a genius. I married my best friend. Now, prepare to get your ass handed to you in Uno.”

“You wish, darling.”

Scorpia whispered something to her hopefully soon-to-be fiancée, which prompted Perfuma to look over at Adora. Then Perfuma looked back to Scorpia and shrugged slightly. Scorpia took out her phone, and Perfuma attempted to act like she hadn’t noticed Adora watching the whole thing.

Adora didn’t like it one bit, so she got up to replenish her still mostly full plate.

Right when she got to the kitchen, a faint chime sounded from behind the closed door on the other side of the living room.

Adora looked up, and out of the bedroom stepped the last (and only) person she wanted to see.

When Catra’s eyes met Adora’s, there was no smug smile, no roguish twinkle in her eye.

The temperature of the room might have dropped twenty degrees, but Scorpia didn’t seem to notice.

“Catra! It’s game time. Join us,” she said, gesturing to the already crowded room.

Naturally, Catra took the spot on the floor where Adora had been sitting.

Rationally, Adora knew that Catra had no way of knowing what she’d just done. There was zero chance that she’d done it on purpose to get under Adora’s skin, but she’d succeeded anyway.

On the bright side, it was going to be a lot easier to stay mad now.

Yet, the more Adora thought about being angry, the more torn she was. If she started getting snippy, it would mar Scorpia and Perfuma’s big night. On the other hand, if she stopped focusing so hard on the maintaining the ring of fire she’d lit around herself, she might be forced to reckon with the fact that her heart had almost jumped out of her chest when Catra appeared.

Maybe she could just stay right where she was and supervise the cheese all night.

She took her time filling the few open spots on her plate, shaking her head when Glimmer asked if she wanted them to wait to start the card game until she was back.

A few rounds into the game, Adora was still lingering in the kitchen. She’d rearranged all of the serving platters on the counter several times and determined that Scorpia had an impeccable sense of food plating and presentation. That, or she’d spent a significant amount of time researching such things in preparation for this event.

The cacophony of the game grew, and Netossa announced that she was filing for divorce when Spinnerella hit her with two Draw 4 cards in a row.

“I did apologize,” Spinnerella said.

“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it _twice,”_ Netossa countered.

“Hm. I suppose I’m not sorry, then.”

“Spinny!”

“Uno,” a familiar, rough voice said.

It was the first thing Catra had said since coming out of her room, and Adora hated the reaction it set off. It was like her body was programmed to respond to that exact timbre, her feet automatically pointing back towards the living room and her head snapping to look in the right direction. Why did Catra have to be so frustratingly enthralling in every single way?

“Scorpia, did you seriously play a reverse card on me?” Catra said.

Scorpia shrugged. “I was hoping you wouldn’t have anything.”

“Best way to play this game is high risk, high reward,” Netossa defended.

“Yeah, no. She just let me win.” Catra tossed her Wildcard onto the pile on the coffee table, clinching her victory. “Good game.”

Adora scoffed to herself and went back to stacking the cracker boxes for the third time. Since when was Catra a good sport?

“Alright, I played one game. Can I go now?” Catra asked Scorpia.

“Uhhh...wait,” Scorpia stuttered. “We’ll do charades! You’ve gotta stick around for charades.”

Catra sighed and sat back down.

Scorpia pumped her fist in the air. “Yes!”

Bow followed up. “Adora, do you wanna join this one?”

Adora looked out from the kitchen, her face no doubt looking like she’d just eaten a rancid grape.

“It’ll be fun,” Glimmer pushed.

“Plus, we do need even teams,” Scorpia added.

Shoot. How was Adora supposed to say no to Scorpia? And Perfuma practically had little stars in her eyes...

Adora’s gaze drifted to the place she’d been sitting and the person who now occupied that spot. Catra’s back was to the kitchen, and she was perfectly still. Maybe Adora could just pretend she wasn’t there.

“Fine,” Adora grumbled.

“Dibs on Bow and Glimmer!” Netossa called out. Everyone cast her a look, but she showed no signs of remorse for her decision. A probable combination of disinterest and missing the camping trip had kept her from learning about the recent developments in Adora and Catra’s...whatever. “What? Adora sucks at this game.”

Everyone who had witnessed Adora’s charades mishaps before murmured in general agreement.

They weren’t wrong. This was going to be embarrassing. Painful and embarrassing.

As Adora walked back towards the living room, she searched for a new place to sit. The only open spot was a bit of floorspace right next to Catra, and that definitely wasn’t an option. Nope. Not going to happen.

She dragged her feet and eventually stopped. While she was just standing there by the front door with her plate, and Catra had the audacity to turn around and look at her.

There was nothing on her face but simple curiosity as to why the once-moving person had stopped in her tracks. Adora wanted there to be more, needed to see some evidence that Catra wasn’t quite as collected as this cool facade would suggest. Why was she always like this? Why did she have to look so put together all the time?

It was infuriating.

Adora marched right up to her and put her plate down on the table. “I was sitting there.” Her voice sharp as a sword. She barely recognized it pointed in Catra’s direction.

Clearly, Adora hadn’t thought this through, because she was now confronted with the image of those dazzling, ferocious eyes looking up at her from a specifically problematic height. Her mind flashed back to the locker room, and her resolve almost broke. With every shred of her dignity left to lose, she managed to hold Catra’s stare, and she hoped that no one noticed that she was now breathing very loudly through her nose.

Catra watched her, unblinking and stoic.

Adora’s foot tapped against the floor, and it distracted Catra out of their strange, tacit contest.

“Whatever, I can move,” Catra muttered. Thankfully, instead of scooting into the free space right next to her, she got up and perched on the armrest next to Perfuma in the opposite corner of the room.

“Alright, Adora’s here!” Great save, Scorpia. Great save. “Are we ready to go?” She pulled a jar filled to the brim with folded paper slips from under the table. Wow, she really had prepared for this.

“Who’s going first?” Spinnerella asked.

“The home team concedes to the guest squad,” Scorpia said, gesturing graciously and presenting the jar.

Netossa pointed to her teammates. “Bow, Glimmer, do your thing.”

“Aren’t you all supposed to guess?” Catra asked.

Netossa chuckled to herself. “There’s a reason we usually split these two up. You’ll see.”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a glance.

“Let’s do this,” Glimmer nodded, and Bow reached into the jar. He read the first piece of paper and stuffed another handful into his pocket.

“One minute on the timer. No talking allowed,” Scorpia said, tapping her phone. She looked to Bow, and he flashed a thumbs up. “And...go!”

Right away, Glimmer was riveted to his performance (at least her years of studying his body language paid off in some forum). He held up one finger.

“One word,” Glimmer said.

Bow struck a pose, his arms and one leg raised like someone who’d gotten stuck in a block of ice while running a marathon.

“Crosswalk!”

He tapped his nose - correct answer - and reached for another piece of paper.

“One word.”

He held his hands a little ways in front of his eyes like a pair of tiny binoculars.

“Opera!” Glimmer called out.

Correct again.

“Fuck,” Catra muttered under her breath and sat back against the wall.

Adora hated how a single word could rattle her like that. It shouldn’t have been possible, much like the current charades performance.

Glimmer was guessing clues almost as fast as Bow could read them. He even stopped giving word counts, which Adora was pretty sure was a minor violation of the rules, but it didn’t stop Glimmer from translating his inscrutable actions flawlessly.

“Grocery store. Rubber duck. Regular duck - ah, just one word - duck. Hot dog stand. Dad. Mayonnaise.”

“What? How did you know it was mayonnaise?!” Adora exclaimed after Bow had mimed spreading one of his palms over the other. 

Netossa broadcast a smug, triumphant grin across the table.

Finally, the timer on Scorpia’s phone chimed.

“I believe that was...thirteen points?” Spinnerella said, tallying on her fingers.

“WOOHOO!” Glimmer whooped, jumping up to high five Bow. “It’s so fun to be on the same team again.”

He put his arm around her shoulders. “Excellent guessing.”

“Excellent clues.”

“Alright, showoffs, sit down,” Catra heckled.

Scorpia looked between her teammates. “Anybody want to follow that?”

Adora huffed in frustration and got to her feet. “Might as well get this over with.”

Spinnerella handed her the jar of clues. Adora reached her hand all the way in, and she felt her fingers skim over something taped to the bottom. She fished the odd paper out and started to unfold it, but Scorpia leapt out of her seat and grabbed the jar.

“Whoa! Looked like you were about to drop the whole darn thing, there,” she said loudly. “That’s my clue,” she whispered quickly. “Ahaha, let me help you with that,” she proclaimed, loud again.

“Haha, yes, wow. How lucky that you were able to catch this jar for me, Scorpia. Thank you so much,” Adora said, catching on and yet proving that she was about to absolutely bomb this round.

“You are very welcome!” Scorpia boomed. “Thank you,” she whispered again before scampering back to her seat and smiling at Perfuma. Fortunately, Perfuma was so enamored with the precious grin that she didn’t even seem to notice how suspicious the whole situation was.

Adora went back in for a replacement clue, plucking one off the top this time. She unfolded the paper: ‘best friends.’ Okay. Should be easy enough. The whole room was full of best friends.

“Go!” Spinnerella said, starting the timer.

Apparently, it was still possible to get stage fright in a room full of best friends.

Adora totally choked. She stood there for a solid eight seconds, her grimace deepening with every moment that passed in deafening silence.

“Um, Adora?” Bow said. “You can start now.”

Glimmer leaned in. “I think she did.”

That prompted most of Adora’s team members to throw out their worst best guesses.

“Distress!” Scorpia shouted.

“Um, looking at the sun?” Perfuma tried.

“Someone who needs glasses - wait, how many words?”

“Frowny face!”

“Constipation!”

“No!” Adora exclaimed.

“No talking,” Spinnerella refereed.

Perfuma sat forward intently. “Keep trying, Adora.”

“Uh...” Adora accidentally said.

“Strike two,” Netossa warned.

Two - the number of words in the clue. Adora should probably say that.

She held up two fingers.

“Peace!” Perfuma beamed.

“It’s two words,” Catra said.

Adora shuffled over to Bow and Glimmer and did a sort of jazz hand...thing in their direction. Maybe it would work. If she was really, really lucky.

“Friends?” Perfuma guessed.

How could Adora illustrate that it was closer than that?

In a moment of inspiration, she pressed Bow and Glimmer together until their cheeks smooshed into each other. Glimmer made a displeased gutteral sound.

“Oh, _close_ friends,” Perfuma corrected.

Okay, very literal guess, but almost there. Adora wiggled her hand - sort of...

“Soulmates?” Scorpia offered.

Once again, Catra chimed in uselessly. “That’s one word.”

“It is?”

“Adora,” Glimmer warned through gritted teeth.

Alright, this wasn’t working, and it was definitely making Bow and Glimmer uncomfortable.

Adora released them and stepped over the corner of the table to gesture at Spinnerella and Netossa. This should make perfect sense. Netossa had referred to them as best friends, like, five minutes ago.

“Wives. Uh, wife...friends?” Scorpia said, perplexed.

Perfuma nearly jumped off the couch. “Ooh! Married couple!”

Scorpia looked about ready to catapult herself through the ceiling after that. Adora glanced back at Bow and Glimmer, whose faces were charting new shades of red.

Mercifully, the timer went off. Adora hung her head in deep, deep shame.

“That was a disaster, even by your standards,” Netossa said bluntly.

“I know,” Adora groaned. 

For some reason, Catra was glaring at her. And then she was getting up. And grabbing Adora’s wrist.

“Timeout,” Catra decreed, dragging Adora towards the open door.

Catra shoved Adora into her room, switched on a speaker, and slammed the door behind them.

***

Catra pulled Adora as far from the door as she could. “I am not letting you ruin this for Scorpia,” she hissed.

“Ruin what? I don’t--I don’t know anything,” Adora said, catching on partway through her sentence and lowering her voice.

“I’m serious, Adora.”

Adora let out an exhale so dramatic that she must have been holding it in since entering the apartment. “I’ve almost accidentally told Perfuma like six times.”

“What the hell was your clue, anyway?”

Adora hesitated. “‘Best friends.’”

Catra raised her eyebrows, deadpan. “And smashing Bow and Glimmer’s faces together just screams platonic to you?”

“I panicked, okay?”

“That was obvious.”

“What are you, a charades expert?”

“At least I know how to act.”

Adora struggled to find a comeback for that. “Prove it,” she forced.

Oh, if only she knew.

Catra shook her head. “You can’t just do one thing and expect people to guess what you’re thinking.”

“I did two things,” Adora sputtered.

“No, you just tried the same thing twice.” Catra crossed her arms.

It was almost like their old banter.

Almost - until Adora started to leave.

***

“Ugh, whatever.” Adora dismissed, heading for the door.

Her fury had burned out too quickly. She couldn’t stay here, not without that shield.

She started for the door, but Catra caught her wrist again. Always with the wrists.

Adora made the mistake of looking back.

***

Catra wanted to say it. Everything. And she almost did--

But Adora’s expression was stone, hard and unyielding. The longer Catra looked at it, the more she wanted to crawl under her bed.

She’d promised herself she would do this. With a deep breath, she braced to rip the bandaid off, letting her hand slip from Adora’s wrist until her fingers wrapped into Adora’s warm palm.

“Adora, wait.”

The song on her speaker ended, and silence filled the slight space between them.

***

Adora thought about tearing her hand free of Catra’s, but she still wouldn’t have been able to take another step towards the living room.

Those eyes had too much power.

***

Catra had to bury her panic when the next song started. She’d made this playlist while trying to decide whether to go on that stupid camping trip - and it was full of cheesy, pining love songs. At the time, she’d thought she was harmlessly distracting herself.

Fuck, she should have known.

***

For exactly four seconds, Adora thought Catra might kiss her.

For exactly three of those seconds, she wanted her to.

***

Catra couldn’t do it.

If things went south now, she risked blowing up Scorpia’s entire night. Better to wait until the main event was concluded.

Unfortunately, tearing off a bandage hurt a whole lot more when you took your sweet time doing it.

Catra kept speaking, her voice still quiet. “Can we talk?”

***

Good question - could they? Adora had no idea what to say. If she opened her mouth, would any words even come out? Would Catra run off again?

“Later, I mean,” Catra continued. “After game night and everything. I don’t want to make a whole scene.”

Adora remembered what she’d felt in the last of those four seconds, and her anger reignited. It didn’t matter that she agreed - they shouldn’t make a scene - because Catra couldn’t have picked a worse way to say it.

“Right,” Adora said, swallowing hard to keep her voice from quivering. “Wouldn’t want to be _too much.”_

She sniffed, blinked back tears, and practically ripped the bedroom door off its hinges getting out.

***

Catra allowed herself a very necessary moment of quiet after having her words thrown back in her face. Adora couldn’t know what wound she’d just poked - unless she did, and she’d done it on purpose. Still, she couldn’t have known how deep it ran, the shock of hurt going straight to Catra’s chest.

She was not going to cry at her best friend’s engagement. And she was definitely not going to cry at game night.

Catra smoothed her hands back over her hair and rejoined the party.

“Please tell me you were explaining the rules to her,” Netossa said to Catra. “I don’t think I can watch that again.”

“Yeah, we talked,” Catra said, her gaze involuntarily gravitating back.

Adora was sitting in her spot on the floor and nibbling intently on each corner of a cheese cube. Did she have to be so damn cute? It wasn’t making what Catra had to do any easier.

Spinnerella nudged the jar across the table back towards Scorpia. “I think we can all agree that first round was kind of a fluke for the home team. Why don’t you go again?” Netossa was clearly about to protest, but Spinnerella cut her off. “Darling, it’s not like they’re not going to catch up.”

Netossa burst into a delighted grin. “That is absolutely savage. Have I told you how much I love you?”

“I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Scorpia, why don’t you go?” Catra suggested.

Predictably, Scorpia’s eyes went wide.

Catra knew exactly she was doing. Maybe her agenda was selfish, but everybody kept talking about love and marriage and being generally insufferable and coupley, and she couldn’t take much more. She’d promised to play nice for the duration of this party, but there was no rule saying she couldn’t hurry things along.

Scorpia psyched herself up and nodded vehemently to Catra. “Sure thing. Yeah. I’ve got this.”

“You’ve got this!” Perfuma echoed. She clapped a few times. “Yay, Scorpia!”

With a nervous laugh, Scorpia got up.

Spinnerella prepared the timer, and Scorpia shuffled through the jar aggressively, putting on a show of knocking a few stray pieces of paper out.

“Wow, those little guys really go flying, huh? Hmmm, what to choose, what to choose... Aha!” she finally proclaimed, drawing a piece of paper out. It stuck to her hand as she tried to unfold it. “Oops, give me just a...oh, boy.”

It was a good thing Catra didn’t give a damn about winning this game. This performance was almost worse than Adora’s.

Scorpia read the paper and took a deep breath. When she flashed a thumbs up, Spinnerella started the timer.

For a moment, it looked like Scorpia was going to take a page out of Adora’s book and completely freeze up, but then she dropped to one knee by the couch and mimed opening a tiny box.

“Oh! Proposing!” Perfuma said right away. She looked so proud of herself.

Scorpia touched her own nose, indicating a correct answer. She reached under the table and took out a real, velvet ring box and held it up.

“Got it in one,” she said.

“Wh-what?” There were already tears in Perfuma’s eyes, and Catra would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little moved by the whole thing.

Scorpia’s gentle smile grew as she opened the box to reveal a sparkling string of emeralds set in a gold band. “Whaddaya say?”

“Yes! Oh my goodness, yes!” Perfuma threw herself into Scorpia’s arms, tackling her onto the floor and kissing her several times.

Adora got out of the way just in time, laughing as they landed next to her.

“Aww,” Bow cooed.

Glimmer had her phone out, wiping her own happy tears as she captured the moment. Bow’s arm was already around her waist like it belonged there.

“Now that’s what I call teamwork,” Netossa said. “Congrats, you two.”

“Mhmm,” Spinnerella agreed, dropping her head onto her wife’s shoulder.

As soon as Scorpia managed to get up, she hustled to Catra’s side and dropped to her knee again. She grabbed something else from under the table - a black tie box.

“Will you be my best wo-man?” Scorpia asked.

In light of the joyous moment, Catra barely had anything snarky to say. “Obviously.”

“Yes! Super Pal Duo is plannin’ a wedding!”

Glimmer shrieked with sheer delight and kissed Bow’s cheek. When he did the same back, she looked at him in surprise. They’d figure it out eventually.

Soon, Scorpia was back on the couch with Perfuma, exchanging excited planning details between more kisses and hugs. It had all gone about as perfectly as possible.

Catra couldn’t help but smile at the whole tableau, even if her own heart was already cracking into pieces in anticipation. “Congratulations,” she said, praying it didn’t sound hollow.

***

They played a few more rounds of charades, and Adora was relieved that nobody tried to pass her the jar again. Scorpia was really good at guessing clues - especially Catra’s, which really weren’t as good as she’d claimed they would be. Unfortunately, Scorpia wasn’t particularly good at acting the words out. Of course, that didn’t stop her fiancée from cheering in unwavering support.

At around 10:00, Netossa and Spinnerella headed out. They’d stayed an hour past their usual cutoff to celebrate with the newly engaged couple, even after the games had ended. Bow and Glimmer carried their team to a brutal 86-13 victory, and they were officially and eternally banned from playing on the same team ever again. Catra vanished into her room.

“We should probably head out, too,” Bow said as the departing couple put on their shoes.

Glimmer nodded and yawned in accord. “Game night keeps getting better and better,” she said. “Though we probably won’t top this one for a while.”

“Thanks for being here.” Scorpia said, scooping them both into a hug. “You guys are the best.”

Adora hugged Perfuma. “Congrats.”

“Eeeee! Every time someone reminds me, I get all giddy again,” Perfuma said. She looked down at her ring. “I can’t believe I’m getting married.”

With a smile, Adora turned to get her shoes.

Scorpia squatted down next to her while Perfuma hugged Bow and Glimmer goodbye. “Hey, quick question. What did you and Catra talk about earlier?”

Didn’t she have more important things to worry about right now? Like the fact that she’d just gotten engaged? Plus, that weird interrogation vibe was back, and it was still unpleasant.

Adora glanced at her, then went back to pulling her right shoe on. She knew she needed to loosen the laces like she always did when she put these shoes on, but that didn’t stop her from hoping that they would just magically slide right onto her feet. They never did.

“She just explained some stuff about the game. I mean, I already knew how to play, but...” Adora trailed off. Technically, it wasn’t untrue, but it clearly wasn’t what Scorpia was hoping to hear.

Failing on the right shoe, Adora attempted the left. Maybe this one would would glass slipper its way on (it wouldn’t). And if she didn’t say anything else, maybe Scorpia would stop pestering her about this (she wouldn’t).

“Y’know, I was freaking out about the whole proposing thing,” Scorpia continued. “But Catra really helped me through it. She even came up with the charades idea. I think she secretly likes all this romantic stuff.”

Adora snorted. “No way.”

Still squatting, Scorpia waddled a little closer. “Don’t tell her I told you, but she’s a total sucker for sad love songs. It’s all she’s been listening to for a week. And she knows all the words, even plays some on guitar. Sometimes she tries to sing all the harmonies, too.”

Adora paused and tried not to dwell on the idea of Catra singing. “A week? Like since the camping trip?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess. Huh. Anyways, thanks again for coming!” Scorpia stood and smacked Adora on the back so hard she almost bowled over onto her face.

She gave up on trying to pull her left shoe on. Zero for two. Since the shoes wouldn’t cooperate, Adora picked them up and prepared to walk to the car in her socks.

Glimmer said something about taking snacks for the road, and Scorpia went to the kitchen to fill a couple of tiny plates for her and Bow.

Catra’s door had stayed closed for the past fifteen minutes while the guests trickled out. This time, though, there was a faint sound coming from behind it: strumming.

Perfuma caught Adora staring.

Adora pretended she hadn’t been, but, as everyone had so gruesomely rediscovered during charades, acting was not her strong suit.

“Bow?” Perfuma said, still keeping an eye on Adora. “Have you seen Scorpia’s plant collection?”

“I have not!” He said, enthusiasm already rising.

Scorpia brightened. “It’s amazing. I don’t mean that in a braggy way - Perfuma’s the one who put it together for me. All I do is take care of them. I got a little calendar so I know when to water everybody. I kept hydrating Gertrude too often, and she did not like that.”

Bow’s eyes twinkled. “You name your plants?”

“Of course!”

“Glimmer...” Bow turned to her.

With a resigned but affectionate sigh, Glimmer conceded. “Fine, we can go meet the plants.”

“Yes!”

Scorpia ushered the two of them towards another room. Perfuma patted Adora on the shoulder, nudged her head in the direction of Catra’s room, and followed Scorpia.

It wasn’t like Adora was literally on her way out the door. Her shoes weren’t even on. Bow and Glimmer would be a few minutes or more, depending on how many plants Scorpia had.

She probably had a lot of plants, right?

Adora dropped her shoes on the floor. The faint, muffled music coming from Catra’s room stopped.

A few steps later, she was raising her fist to Catra’s door. The first time she tried to knock, her knuckles barely grazed the wood. She took a deep breath--

The door opened, and Catra’s eyes had her.

“I just...heard a weird noise,” Catra said. She peeked around and probably saw Adora’s shoes strewn on the floor. “See you around, Adora.” The door started to creak shut.

Adora stopped it, slapping her palm against the wood. Catra didn’t fight it.

“Um...it’s later,” Adora said, her heart beating so loud she could barely hear her own voice. “Do you still want to talk?”

Catra bit her lip and opened the door.

Adora stepped inside, and the rushing in her ears stopped. There was no music, and once the door clicked shut behind her, everything was quiet.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhangers build upper body strength, and it's time to get fuckin' shredded
> 
> also: the chapter # change is bc there will be...an epilogue. and also bc numbers are fake and i can do what i want
> 
> serious time: i sincerely love reading comments, but please don't demand an update *on the day i post an update.* expressing appreciation is the best way to encourage a fic writer (read: me), not pressure. plus it's just...super rude. writing takes a LOT of time. and i'm literally doing this for free bc i enjoy it despite also having a writing-related real human job. pls be considerate! thank u! <3


	10. Chapter 10

Adora leaned back against the door, pressing herself into it like she was trying to phase back into the living room. She clearly wasn’t going to speak first, and it wasn’t her job to. Catra was the one that had asked for this. She’d invited Adora into her room. Into her _life_.

How could silence take up so much space? Maybe all of the things she hadn’t said yet were pushing Adora out, suffocating her so that she couldn’t say anything even if she wanted to. Wasn’t this what Catra did best? Find a good thing, ruin it, then shove it far away?

No.

Stop.

This reaction wasn’t hers - it was what she’d been taught by years of manipulation and belittling long before anything good had come into her life. She might not have been responsible for her first thought, but she had to hold herself accountable for pushing back against it.

If Adora was going to stay on the other side of the room, fine. Catra had made a choice, and she was going to see it through.

Really, Adora didn’t trust herself to get too close. She wanted to talk, not risk distracting them both from the conversation that needed to happen. She and Catra fueled something in each other, a blaze indiscriminate in what it took as kindling. Boredom, hormones, competitive instinct; need, want, something else. It all looked the same engulfed in flames. As much as Adora craved the warmth it brought, she didn’t dare reach out her hand. Not yet, at least.

But why wasn’t Catra saying anything? The longer the silence stretched, the bigger it grew. Had she done something wrong? Maybe this was about earlier, when she’d stormed out. That had definitely been...too much.

She had to shake her head to knock the intrusive thought loose. It wasn’t welcome here, in this room where she’d felt nothing but sure before. She had stop blaming herself first for everything that didn’t go perfectly.

Finding her confidence with her hands had always come more naturally than using her words and mind. Action - that was something she didn’t have to second guess. She challenged herself, in this conversation, to think like she fought. She’d go with her gut instinct and say the first thing that came to mind instead of spiraling into anxiety like she so often did when she couldn’t sort through her feelings (it had nearly cost her a blender in the past week).

“Congrats on winning Uno,” she blurted.

Okay, maybe slightly more thinking would be good.

In response, Catra’s expression became suspended somewhere between soft and desperate, and it took every ounce of self-control Adora had not to run across the room and sweep her up in an embrace.

Catra took a slow, deep breath. Why did Adora have to make this so hard?

“You’re such an idiot,” Catra said quietly.

“Yeah, I know,” Adora replied, overtaken by a tense laugh.

The windowsill next to her guitar stand was just high enough that Catra couldn’t quite lean comfortably without the wood digging into her back at an odd angle, so she settled for an awkward, half-sitting position. She’d committed to this spot, and she wasn’t going to move now. It was about the principle.

“I don’t mean that,” Catra said. “You’re not the idiot here.”

Adora stood up a little straighter. She didn’t particularly like what Catra was implying about herself. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true.” Catra countered. Were they seriously going to argue about this?

“Okay, how about neither of us are idiots?” Adora proposed.

Catra hesitated. “Fine. We’re both brilliant geniuses. Except in charades.”

“Fair enough.” Adora nodded - that was just a fact. “So, fellow brilliant genius, what did you want to talk about?”

Before they dove in, there was something Catra needed to untangle. “How come you’re not furious at me? I didn’t even think you’d stick around after...”

As Catra trailed off, Adora shrugged. “I was mad at you. I mean, I still am. But I’m other things, too.”

“Other things?”

“Sad, mostly.”

Yeah. Catra had a feeling that was her fault, too.

“I think I really miss you,” Adora added, admitting something that she’d barely dared acknowledge so bluntly up until that moment. She’d felt the ache of it, known the truth deep down, but she’d still surprised herself by saying it out loud.

Normally, Catra would have replied with a self-gratifying _Of course you do,_ but this wasn’t the time for smugness and snark. She didn’t have the right energy for it, anyway.

Instead, she scanned over Adora’s body, hands pinned behind her back, still rigid against the door. Where there was usually an absent smile or a very serious expression of focus, there was only a slight, somber frown and a stressed crease between her brows. Adora looked tired. Confused. Vulnerable.

Adora had taken a risk coming back, and it inspired Catra to match her. “Yeah, I miss you too,” she replied.

“What happened?” Adora asked. She wasn’t sure what she was asking, specifically, but it seemed like a good thing to ask. Maybe Catra would understand.

It was a good a way in as any, Catra thought. “On the camping trip?” She took a deep breath. “When I left?”

Adora just waited. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know for sure, to hear that she’d really driven Catra away by being--

“Too many things,” Catra said.

Adora’s heart sank all the way down into the pit in her stomach.

Catra went on. “I just got caught up in it all, and I forgot that we weren’t--”

“I know,” Adora said, scrambling to cauterize the fresh wound.

“No, you don’t,” Catra pleaded. “I freaked out.”

“I get it, Catra,” Adora interrupted. If she looked at the ceiling, maybe she wouldn’t feel the knife going in again. Like closing her eyes for a vaccine - sharp things stung less if you couldn’t see the blood they drew. “You know, we really didn’t have to talk about this again in person. I got the point yesterday--”

Catra gritted her teeth harder with every word until she couldn’t keep from exploding. “Adora, stop.”

Adora’s eyes fixed on her, hurt and angry all over again at the reminder of that night, and Catra hated herself for causing it.

All she could do was try to fix it. There was no ideal place to start, so Catra plucked the loudest, most alarmed thought from her mind first. Maybe if she could get it out of the way, she’d be able to think for a second without wanting to scream.

“Every time I’ve...” Catra’s words were failing her, but she wouldn’t let her courage do the same. “I don’t trust a lot of people.”

Even if Adora could already guess as much, the point-blank revelation made her heart clench.

“I didn’t want to trust you,” Catra said. “It would’ve made this whole thing a lot less complicated.”

Was trust not inherently involved in sleeping with someone? Maybe it meant something different for Catra. Either way, Adora was getting lost. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Do you remember when we were in the tent?”

“Hard to forget.” Adora forced her brain to stay focused on the conversation instead of slipping back to the last time she’d had her hands on Catra. Her fingertips clawed at the door.

“And you said...” Catra swallowed. “Uh, you called me--”

“Nope,” Adora cut in. She could feel her cheeks heating up, and she tried not to hear the echo of her own voice in her thoughts. ( _Baby._ ) “No idea what you’re talking about.” She definitely knew what Catra was talking about.

“Right,” Catra said, a bitter laugh rounding out her reply. If Adora really wanted to forget, then maybe it was better not to bring it up - but no, Catra had promised to be honest, and she had nothing to lose. She toed the corner of the rug under her bed. “Well, I didn’t totally hate that.”

In that moment, Adora experienced the exact emotion that computers probably felt when they crashed. “Huh?” was all she could muster.

Catra stared down at her feet. If she was going to get through this next train wreck of a sentiment, she couldn’t watch Adora’s reaction. “Yeah, so, that’s why I left. I was...feeling too much.” She dared to glance back up, her lip curling into a masochistic smirk at her own fully clothed bareness.

She expected to see Adora struggling over how to let her down easy or opening the door and leaving. Instead, Adora was frozen, unblinking, her lips barely parted in an expression of quiet awe. Save for the open, sparkling eyes - which made this a whole lot more difficult - it reminded Catra of how Adora had looked asleep in the tent, breathing gently, and the feelings hit all over again.

Catra willed herself to keep it together. This would be over soon enough.

“Adora?” Catra said, unsure how long she could sit in this moment.

Finally, Adora blinked. “Give me a second.”

Not exactly what Catra was expecting, but when was she going to learn that this was anything but predictable? “Yeah, whatever you need.”

Adora could feel the tremor in her voice, and she heard it translate aloud. Oh, well. She was long past trying to seem composed around Catra. “So,” she started slowly, “you didn’t mean me?”

Catra looked confused.

“You didn’t mean that I was too much?” Adora clarified.

“What? No. You’re perfect.”

Adora couldn’t stop the shocked snort that escaped.

“Wait,” Catra corrected herself. “No, you’re not.”

“Oh.” Now it made sense. Adora had been only slightly mistaken - not enough, this time, rather than too much. Even if Catra cared about her, she wasn’t enough. It didn’t actually make her feel any better, but at least it was an answer.

“That’s a good thing,” Catra said quickly. “You’re not perfect. You’re...you. And I love that.”

What?

“Really?” Adora said, her voice feeling terribly small.

“Scorpia said it’d be boring if people were perfect. Honestly, she’s right.”

Adora considered that. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that her favorite things about so many of the people she loved were the very things that set them outside of any concept of perfection or sameness. Glimmer’s temper. Bow’s caution. Perfuma’s inability to look past a silver lining. All frustrating, sometimes, sure, but those characteristics in the right circumstances were also the things that made her friends so protective, caring, and positive. Like microfractures in bone, flaws could heal and make things stronger.

That meant Adora didn’t have to be perfect, either. She didn’t need to be everything for everyone. Perhaps she could just exist and be enough - and maybe then she’d even have something left over for herself.

“I guess it would be boring,” Adora said.

“You really didn’t sign up for any of this, huh,” Catra said.

Adora smiled slightly. “I guess neither of us knew what we were getting into.”

“Yeah. Anyway, that’s all,” Catra concluded. She still looked so sad. “I figured you deserved to know why I ran off. It was shitty, and I’m sorry.”

“Okay. Thanks,” Adora said, stunned and still reeling from several points prior.

“Your friends are probably waiting for you.”

Adora peeked out into the living room. Sure enough, Bow and Glimmer were standing by the front door, shoes on. But she wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

“One sec,” Adora said, stepping out of Catra’s room and shutting the door softly.

The air in the living room was cooler and lighter, like a summer storm system had passed.

( _What the hell was she doing?_ Catra wondered.)

“Hey, guys?” Adora said. “You can head out if you want.”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look.

“Everything’s fine,” Adora confirmed. “We’re just talking.”

Bow nodded. “Okay.”

“Let us know if you need a ride later,” Glimmer said.

“Or, you know, if you don’t.”

Adora cast them a vaguely annoyed glare.

“Just saying,” Bow said, putting his hands up in retreat.

“Goodnight,” Glimmer sang.

“Uh-huh,” Adora called back as she returned to Catra’s room.

The front door closed a moment after the bedroom door.

“Need a change of scenery for your midnight jog?” Catra joked.

“I didn’t want to leave,” Adora said. She hadn’t meant for it to sound so loaded, so full of things she hadn’t actually said. Things that had barely touched her conscious mind long enough to take form.

However this ended, Adora was giving her a few more minutes, and Catra was too greedy not to take them.

Catra raised an eyebrow, hoping the way her heart swelled wasn’t obvious. “Don’t feel like you have to hang out or anything.”

“I want to.” Adora finally stepped away from the door. “Can I sit?”

Catra gestured to the bed, suddenly wishing she had actual furniture elsewhere in her room.

Adora didn’t fully understand why she’d decided this, only that she didn’t feel done with this conversation. She was trying to just go with it.

“Were you hoping I’d kick your ass at Uno?” Catra teased half-heartedly.

“Maybe another time,” Adora said. She hadn’t actually sat down yet - that felt like a step she couldn’t undo, and she needed to psych herself up first.

“So?” Catra asked. She wasn’t fishing for anything. But why the hell was Adora still here?

Adora shifted her weight to her other foot, still debating about the bed. “I like talking to you.” Wow. Almost as lame as her line in the woods. “Can I ask you something?” she added, not yet sure where she was going with this.

“If you want.”

She went with the first thing that came to mind, the least prying of the many questions that had been swirling around her head for the past few weeks. “How did you and Scorpia become friends?”

Well. Adora was full of weird surprises, as always. “What the hell?”

Apparently not the least offensive question, then. “Sorry. That sounded a little--”

“Don’t apologize,” Catra interrupted. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” She paused, reflecting on Adora’s inquiry. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“I’m curious.”

It wasn’t a demand, but an invitation. The story of why she’d moved here wasn’t something that she made a habit of sharing - even her the roommate in question had never dug deep enough to uncover it.

Catra would settle for the short version. She wasn’t sure how detailed she could get without breaking down, and she’d already jumped through one flaming emotional hoop that night. Might as well go for another.

“I needed a roommate,” Catra explained, staying put by the windowsill. “And Scorpia didn’t seem totally horrible.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t know her before you moved in together?” Adora asked.

Catra shook her head. Adora’s questions were unwittingly tracing the edge a scar. “We had some mutual friends in college. I told one of them I was thinking of coming out here, and she gave me Scorpia’s info.”

“Why’d you move here?” Adora asked.

Such an innocent follow up. She couldn’t have known about the razor blade hidden in it. “Needed a change of scenery,” Catra dismissed.

“Where’d you live before?”

“Does it matter?” Catra snapped.

Adora recoiled. She didn’t know why, but that had clearly set Catra off.

“Sorry,” Catra said, squeezing her eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Adora offered.

“No, it’s okay.” If anything, going through this would help explain why Catra was so reluctant to trust anymore. “I figured moving across the country was the fastest way to get away from someone. A few someones, actually.”

Adora didn’t outright ask her to elaborate. She just stood there, listening and glancing at the bed every few seconds.

“My mom, mostly,” Catra said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I know, super sad,” Catra said sardonically. “I hated her ‘cause she hated me, and I thought the best way to piss her off would be to start dating this girl who just hated everything. Unfortunately, ‘everything’ kinda included me, too.”

“That sounds awful.”

Catra shrugged. “I knew she was like that when I started the whole thing. I kind of brought it on myself.”

Adora tried to push past the righteous anger that flared up at the idea that Catra could ever even consider that she deserved to be treated like that. “It’s not your fault if people were bad to you. It’s theirs.”

“Yeah, well,” Catra trailed off, unsure how to accept the sympathy. She knew Adora was right, rationally, but that didn’t make it any easier to understand what she’d gone through. And it didn’t do anything to stop tears from welling up. She brushed them away as fast as she could. “The rest is more of a sad road trip story.”

“I do like road trips.”

Catra scoffed. “Because you get to bring a bunch of maps with you?”

Adora blushed. “Maybe.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“So?” Adora challenged. “Pretty sure you said I was perfect, like, two seconds ago.”

Catra snorted. Of course Adora wasn’t going to let that go.

“Can I ask you a question?” Catra asked, poking at the precarious semblance of equilibrium.

“Sure,” Adora replied. “That seems fair.”

Curiosity about the wrong things could be dangerous, Catra had learned, but she didn’t think Adora was the type to retaliate if she happened to touch a nerve. The worst thing she could do was leave, and Catra was already braced for that to happen any second.

“What’s with the whole ‘too much’ thing?” Catra ventured.

Adora picked at a hangnail on her thumb. “Um, it’s just a thing I worry about.”

“Aren’t you a nationally ranked fighter? That’s, like, the definition of extra. In a good way.”

“Internationally ranked,” Adora said reflexively. She immediately flinched at her unplanned ego trip. “That sounded obnoxious.”

Catra shook her head. “No, it didn’t.” It was hot, actually, but now wasn’t the time to point that out.

“I guess I don’t want to overwhelm people. Emotionally speaking,” Adora explained. “I thought I’d scared you off when you ran.”

Catra was horrified. This whole time, Adora had thought _she’d_ screwed up? “Adora, no. I was the one who couldn’t handle--” she caught herself just in time, pausing just slightly, “--everything,” she said vaguely.

“‘Cause I said something weird,” Adora muttered to her thumb. “Apparently I do that a lot.”

“Stuff you don’t mean slips out when you’re half asleep. Honestly, I’m surprised you even remember saying it,” Catra offered, drudging up all of the defenses she’d used to convince herself during the past week.

“No, I--” Adora wasn’t sure how she’d planned to finish that sentence. Was she going to agree with Catra and just write it off?

That didn’t seem right. Thoughts that came on the edge of dreams were a particular kind of lucid; subconscious tendrils that reached through and whispered things that would otherwise dissipate, unheard, against the noisy and barbed barriers of wakefulness.

With those barriers gone, lovingly incinerated by the heat from Catra’s body and strewn amongst the remnants of the bonfire...

She’d said it on purpose.

Every piece that Adora felt like she’d been missing fell into place at once, a map miraculously drawing itself and presenting an image that had once felt too big to see. Now Adora could visualize it clearly, and every point along the way made perfect sense. The spark, the fire, the crackling warmth, the ashen feeling at the thought of losing it for good. A smoldering ember on the verge of snuffing out, but refusing to give up without a fight.

“Don’t worry about it,” Catra said.

“I meant it,” Adora said before she could think herself out of it.

Cautiously, Catra held her gaze. She stayed in the window, completely still, arms crossed. “What?”

“I was so scared before,” Adora said, the comprehension dawning and working her up into a mild frenzy. “I didn’t even realize what was happening with us. I thought I was always going to be either too much or not enough, and either way you’d--”

“Whoa, slow down,” Catra broke in, raising a hand in a stop sign. “Adora, what are you talking about?”

Adora could see exactly how she’d gotten here. It stretched back before she’d ever known Catra, but this was always going to be the destination. Any river she might have chosen would have ended here, carrying her out towards an open ocean.

“Glimmer thinks it started because my first boyfriend dumped me right after we won prom court,” Adora tried to explain. It made sense in her head, but not so much once she said it.

Catra stared. “There is literally so much to process in that sentence.”

The windowsill digging into Catra’s lower back was becoming unbearable, and she finally pushed off from it. There was really only one other option besides standing awkwardly in the middle of her room, so...

Once she sat on the bed, Adora followed her lead immediately, like she’d been waiting for such an incontrovertible invitation. What an adorable weirdo.

Adora smiled shyly, hoping she wasn’t sending the wrong message by sitting on the bed. Granted, it would have been the right message on just about any other night with Catra, but this felt completely alien. The air was rife with a different kind of tension: more anxious, less pleasant, and completely lacking in certainty. It unsettled Adora profoundly, and getting physically closer had only pressurized that feeling into the narrower space.

“Okay, you were prom queen?” Catra asked, turning Adora’s attention back to the much more embarrassing and much less stressful story.

“King, actually. I think they misread the card. Maybe not. Either way, he was so embarrassed he broke up with me right there on stage.”

“Hey, guys can be queens if they want. Sounds like he was just an asshole,” Catra shrugged. “I can’t believe you had a boyfriend.”

“I’ve had two,” Adora confessed.

“Hm. Wonder why it didn’t work out.”

Adora let herself laugh. “I didn’t figure all of that out until college.”

“I bet that’s a fun story.”

“Did you always know?”

“Pretty much.”

“Lucky you.”

“Yeah, I guess. I definitely never dated a guy.” Catra wrinkled her nose.

“They were nice enough.”

“Are you including the guy who dumped you at prom?”

“Okay, maybe he wasn’t so nice,” Adora conceded. “I think my taste has improved since then.”

Adora thought it was cute when Catra’s cheeks turned pink. It made her freckles pop.

“How does what we were talking about relate to your high school love life?” Catra redirected.

Adora felt the massive wave that had overcome her ebbing, but she still picked at the skin around her thumbnail. It gave her something to do besides look at the world’s most distracting eyes while she slowly washed up on shore, unraveling. “I don’t think it’s totally because of the whole prom thing, but ever since I started dating, I always felt more like...a trophy, I guess. Like I had to be this shiny, perfect thing for other people to want me around.”

Catra was pretty sure she heard her own heart split clean in half inside her ribcage.

“But I’ve never felt that way with you,” Adora continued. “From the beginning of--well, you always made me feel like I was enough on my own. Like what I thought and said and wanted was important just because it was. I kept telling myself that if you got tired of me - when you got tired of me - that it would be fine. I never expected this whole thing anyway, so it shouldn’t have mattered when it went away. Things could have just gone back to how they were before, maybe. But then you actually did get tired of me. I thought.” A pause. “And it hurt. More than I thought it would. I tried to be mad because it was so much simpler.”

Catra wasn’t sure when she’d stopped breathing. Her head was spinning, desperately trying to wrap itself around everything Adora was saying. She picked the most recent word she’d heard and latched on. “Simpler than what?”

“Simpler than--” Adora’s voice cracked.

She took a breath, and then another. She looked up at Catra, for once putting all of her effort into counteracting her natural impulse to bury things so well she’d forget where she put them. As always, those eyes pierced deep, drawing out the things Adora didn’t even remember she’d been hiding.

“Than missing you so fucking much,” she finished, quiet so as not to scare the conviction off.

When Adora resumed torturing her hangnail, Catra covered the nervous hands with her own.

Adora was immediately taken with the motion of Catra’s thumb tracing across the back of her knuckles. How could such a small, innocent touch conjure so much?

“You really think I could get tired of you?” Catra asked.

“I don’t know. You did run away.”

“Because I was the opposite of tired of you.”

“That makes no sense.”

Catra ran a hand back through her hair, sweeping it over one shoulder. “It seemed like a great idea at the time.”

“Really?”

“No. But it was simpler.”

If Adora had asked, Catra would have told her exactly what she meant.

Instead, Adora raised an eyebrow, challenging. “You really don’t think you could get tired of me? Not even in charades?”

“Exception proves the rule,” Catra said. “But I am seriously never playing that game with you again.”

“I can’t hold that against you.”

Catra smiled for real, the first time she could remember doing so that night.

“So what now?” Adora asked.

Catra had technically fulfilled her promise by telling Adora why she’d left, even if she hadn’t necessarily explained the depth of those feelings. She was still reeling from the fact that she’d actually gone further and opened up about other things, and now she wasn’t sure she could stay on her feet if she kept trekking forward.

“You call your friends and get a ride home?” Catra suggested.

“It is pretty late,” Adora commented. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

Catra shook her head. A series of choices - not everything all at once. They were okay, and that was enough for now.

“Thanks,” Adora said. “For telling me all of that.”

“Thanks for telling me about your incredible prom drama.”

“Oh, that was only junior prom.”

“What the hell happened at senior prom?”

“Before or after the fistfight that broke out during Mr. Brightside?”

“Holy shit.”

Adora laughed.

Catra’s heart skipped when she saw that familiar, soft smile on her face.

“Actually, I meant what now...for us,” Adora said.

After everything, after all of this breaking and bruising and bumbling around, did Adora still want them to be something?

“Care to elaborate?” Catra asked, just to be sure.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Adora said, flustered. “Right?”

“Maybe.”

“You so do.”

“How come I have to say it?”

“Because I asked.”

“So if I ask you the same question, you’ll tell me?”

“It’s the polite thing to do.”

“Again with the manners.”

“You still haven’t answered.”

“Well,” Catra leaned back on her hands, leaving space between them. “What do you want, Adora?”

Adora tapped her chin. “Hmmm...more cheese.”

“Wow.”

Adora’s teeth dragged over her lip, holding back for the sake of the game. With a glint in her eye, she asked, “What do you want, Catra?”

They could have gone on like that all night, teasing and joking and never quite saying it. But winning wasn’t important to Catra anymore, especially not once she remembered the warmth of Adora’s palm. She forgot about games altogether when Adora’s thumb ghosted over her cheekbone. That sure, competitive fire became barely a spark compared to what roared in her chest.

She didn’t want to keep it to herself, not when it was the clearest answer in the world.

“You,” Catra said. “I just want you.”

Adora beamed.

Catra braced herself for what might have been the most overwhelming kiss of her life, but Adora simply bumped their foreheads together.

“You’ve got me,” Adora said.

“I’m not in any rush,” Catra went on, pulling back so that she could she Adora’s smile.

“Me, neither,” Adora agreed. “I think we kind of did the rushing in thing already. You know. Locker room.”

“Got it out of our systems.”

“Yeah,” Adora nodded. What an absolutely bizarre adventure they’d been on. “Let me text Glimmer.”

Catra smirked. “Tell her I say hi.”

“Wow, that was fast. She just said ‘irritated emoji.’” Adora turned her phone so Catra could see - it really was just the words ‘irritated emoji’ spelled out. “She’ll be here in 15 minutes. She also said, ‘And you better be ready, otherwise irritated emoji becomes angry expletive emoji.’ So...”

“I think I can keep you entertained for fifteen minutes.”

Adora wondered if this was about to go the same way as their first date, but Catra was already moving off the bed and standing up. She picked up her guitar and sat down again, propping the instrument over one knee.

“Any requests?”

“How many times has Scorpia asked for Freebird?”

“Don’t you dare.”

Adora moved to sit next to Catra, legs dangling over the side of the bed and toes just touching the floor. She shrugged and snuck a quick kiss to Catra’s cheek. “Play whatever you want.”

***

After picking Adora up around midnight, Glimmer kept complaining that this whole thing had cost her $10. Apparently she had bet Bow that their roommate would end up sleeping over. She was ecstatic, however, when Adora revealed that Catra had played her guitar. Bow now owed Glimmer twice as much money in return.

The lyrics Catra sang had been something about trees and maybe also being set on fire, but in a good way - honestly, Adora hadn’t fully been listening. She’d been more focused on the rough edge of Catra’s voice that belied utter softness and the way her fingers danced over the fretboard. She mostly remembered the picture of Catra lying down and staring up at the ceiling as she played, one knee crooked up to keep the guitar from slipping and her other leg stretched out over Adora’s thighs, her guitar a natural extension of something that was usually so carefully guarded.

The vibe of the song had made Adora feel like dancing around a bonfire, and the word “baby” was in there a whole lot of times. Hearing it roll off of Catra’s tongue...well. There was a good reason Catra didn’t get to her second selection, and it was because Adora had very carefully taken the guitar from her hands after the first song, placed it back on the stand gingerly, set a timer for ten and a half minutes, and tackled her onto the bed.

Adora and Catra had both independently considered the possibility of requesting that Glimmer turn around, but their skin was still too raw from baring old scars for anything to come of it. Taking space to breathe, at least for a little while, would give them both a chance to heal.

On Sunday, Adora texted Catra a picture of her weekly smoothie lineup. Catra couldn’t believe how cute she found it.

On Tuesday, Catra called Adora while her pasta water was boiling, and they got into an argument about whether or not bowtie pasta was bad (Catra - “it doesn’t cook evenly”) or good (Adora - “pasta is pasta”). They came to no consensus, refusing to so much as agree to disagree.

Their temporary distance from one another lasted until Friday when Catra’s phone rang at exactly 6:35. As soon as she picked it up, Adora’s voice came through in heavy breaths.

_“Do you want to go for a run?”_

“Hello to you, too,” Catra teased. She wasn’t the biggest fan of cardio, but she’d already been hanging around in shorts and a sports bra all day in the hopes that the excess energy she’d built up since their conversation the previous weekend would sublimate from her exposed skin. “Yeah, I could run,” she said.

_“Great. I’m downstairs.”_

“Did you run to my building to ask me to go for a run?”

_“No. I biked here.”_

Catra was already tying her shoes. “You’re ridiculous.”

_“Are you on your way?”_

“And impatient,” Catra added. Considering she could already feel her own muscles twitching, she really didn’t have a lot of high ground to stand on. She was out the door so fast she had to go back and make sure that she’d remembered her keys.

In the parking lot below, Adora was standing next to her bike and stretching her quads while still holding her phone up to her ear. She felt her balancing leg wobble and hopped around in a half-circle, turning her back to the stairs and catching herself before she fell.

 _“Damn,”_ Catra’s voice drawled over the line. _“New shorts? I’m a fan.”_

Catra was standing outside her apartment, looking down with one arm draped over the railing.

Adora hung up and stuffed her phone into the sleeve strapped around her arm. “Are you coming or what?” she called up, pretending that seeing Catra in person again didn’t make every inch of her skin feel like it was charged with lightning.

Catra finished descending the stairs. She crossed the bit of parking lot between her and Adora at a light jog.

It took a significant amount of self-control for Adora not to stare at Catra’s bare legs and stomach - and apparently she didn’t have quite enough to manage averting her gaze completely.

As Catra approached, Adora knew she was in danger of giving up on this whole run and dragging Catra right back upstairs. Everything was still settling, though, and she didn’t want to throw it all out of balance so soon (even if she was really, really tempted to).

Catra slowed down just enough, and Adora took it as her cue to kick off in a sprint. “Try to keep up,” she taunted.

“Hey!”

By the time she reached the edge of the parking lot, Catra was at her side.

They ran for ten minutes in an unexpectedly comfortable silence, taking turns picking random roads to meander down.

Soon enough, they were coming up on a beachfront.

“You live by the beach?” Adora exclaimed, suddenly breaking the silence.

“Uh, yeah,” Catra replied. “You didn’t notice on all your charts and shit?”

“I go running around here all the time.”

“Really? I hang out here pretty often.”

Adora glanced at her, eyes narrowing. “You do?”

“Why would I lie about going to the beach?”

“Because you like messing with me.”

“Hm. You’re not wrong,” Catra said, returning the sideways look. “But I am being serious.”

“Wow. I probably ran right past you, like, a bunch of times.”

“Probably.”

It really was one of Adora’s favorite places to run - cool ocean air, open sky, bright sun.

Most of the people were clearing out in advance of the evening’s descent. Golds and oranges cut through the thin, disparate clouds, and the whole sky seemed to blush pink as the sun lay down on the horizon.

It took Catra a few paces to realize that Adora had slowed to a stop behind her.

She half-planned some snarky comment about how Adora was letting her win too easily, but it dissipated when she turned around.

The image of Adora gazing up at the sky like a gold-lacquered statue emblazoned itself in her mind, and when Adora looked at her, nothing broke.

That quiet, sweet smile was back, and the sunset was the second most beautiful thing on the beach.

“Mind if we stop here for a second?” Adora asked, holding out her hand.

Catra laced their fingers together. Adora squeezed gently, encouraging, inviting her closer.

“Kinda hard to run while standing in one place,” Catra said.

“Then stop running,” Adora said plainly.

Some choices were easy after all.

***

Adora stayed the night.

She woke up a couple of times, panicking momentarily when her body realized she wasn’t in her own bed.

Catra was always there, curled up and hogging the blankets.

Once Adora realized she could bring her racing heartbeat down by fitting herself against Catra’s bare back, she fell back asleep rather easily.

When light started to peek in through the curtains, Catra involuntarily blinked her eyes open.

The delicate pink of dawn dusted Adora’s nose, cheeks, and bare shoulders. One of her arms was flung out towards the corner of the bed, the other keeping the sheet drawn up as she snored lightly. Her hand dropped to her side, and the sheet slipped loose, revealing a spotted, reddish-purple bruise decorating the exposed curve of her left breast.

Overcome, Catra pressed her lips to the spot.

Adora stirred under her. She yawned and stretched her arms up overhead, her back arching slightly.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra purred.

A slow smile took shape on Adora’s lips. “Hey, baby.”

Catra had to bury her face in Adora’s neck to keep from spontaneously combusting.

“Aww, did I embarrass you?” Adora cooed.

In response, Catra nipped at the skin over Adora’s pulse.

Adora yelped, and Catra felt vindicated until Adora rolled over on top of her. Adora’s hair fell loose over one shoulder, gray-blue eyes sparkling mischievously now that the vestiges of sleep had been scared off.

The move dared Catra to make a game of it, to fight back, to start bantering.

But only one thought had crossed her mind since waking up, and it had taken root so firmly that there was no space to question it.

“Fuck, I am so in love with you,” Catra said.

Adora stared down at her, thunderstruck.

Catra memorized the expression. It was, for lack of a better word, perfect. “What, no comeback?” she teased.

Disbelief washed over Adora’s face, leaving a shining grin behind.

She smashed their lips together, clumsy and uncoordinated and utterly wonderful. Adora’s weight came down along the length of Catra’s body, their feet tangling together under the sheets.

Once the frantic kiss slowed, Catra brought her hands to cradle Adora’s face. She eased Adora onto her side, never breaking apart until they lay facing one another.

“Yeah, I love you,” Catra repeated, tracing the pads of her thumbs over Adora’s cheeks.

Adora looked like she might cry - in fact, one stray tear escaped, and Catra caught it before it hit the pillow.

“Hey,” Catra said softly.

Adora wiped her eyes. “Sorry, I’m just--I was really not expecting that.” A startled laugh burst out of her. “You love me?”

“Do you need me to say it again?”

“No. I mean, _yes,_ but--I’m--” Adora interrupted herself, taking a breath.

This was really happening.

It was real.

“I love you, too,” she said.

Catra’s smile imprinted itself on Adora’s heart.

“Yeah?” Catra asked.

“Yeah.”

Adora’s arms wrapped around her, gentle and strong as ever. Catra decided it was her favorite place to be.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc i _know_ y'all are gonna ask: [this is the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsu5ZZwzFyk)
> 
> epilogue coming soon, goodnight my loves <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? getting emotional over posting the last chapter? it's exactly as likely as you think i am crying
> 
> quick content warning for the smut section of this - there is choking involved. please use discretion in reading this section if necessary. you can skip to the first "***" if you like! and this is NOT a guide for how to do this. okay? okay. happy reading!

Adora poked at the side of her neck, searching. She’d already dropped her phone on her face twice while lying on the couch, but she was determined to figure this out.

“Why is it called the ‘carroted’ artery?” she muttered to herself as she squinted at her screen. She tried rotating her phone, wondering if another angle would make more sense. Nope. “Is it supposed to look like a carrot?”

The apartment door opened suddenly.

Adora’s phone practically leapt out of her hand without a trace as she bolted up to a seat and stared towards the other room. She had mere seconds before Catra would appear, and her careful plan to research in peace was shot. Why had her first instinct been to _throw her phone?_

“Babe?” Catra called from the front room, her keys clinking as she dropped them in the small, ceramic bowl that Perfuma had made for them as a housewarming present.

Adora dove onto the floor, frantic. Apparently her phone had decided to vanish from this plane of existence.

“I got your shoes for tomorrow,” Catra said. “You’re gonna look ridiculously--”

Adora sprang to her feet, cutting Catra off as she walked into the living room carrying a shoebox.

“--hot,” Catra finished. “What’s going on?”

“Thanks,” Adora said casually, brushing her hair out of her face. She’d grown it out over the past year - for the most part, she liked having it long, but sometimes it was annoying.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Catra asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um...pushups,” Adora said. “Fifty-six pushups, to be exact.”

Catra narrowed her eyes. “You’re wearing jeans. Plus, you’re sweating way more than you ever do from pushups.”

“I also may have dropped something,” Adora admitted.

“I can help look,” Catra offered. She put the shoebox down on the couch. “What’d you lose?”

“It’s fine,” Adora said quickly. “I’m sure I’ll find it. Go...take a shower or something. You must be super tired from running all those errands.”

“It was one errand, and it was seriously no problem. Why are you acting like you set a mouse loose in here?”

“I’m not.”

“You totally are.” Catra started to smile suspiciously. “Was it a vibrator?”

“No!”

Adora glanced down and saw a faint light shining from under the couch.

Catra saw Adora’s eyes linger, and they both lunged for the mysterious object at the same time. Unfortunately, Catra was faster, and she snatched the phone up just as Adora’s fingertips grazed the case.

“Your phone? Seriously, Adora, you must have been watching some weird porn if you’re acting this--” Catra cut herself off when she finally looked at the screen. She stared, speechless, her eyes widening slowly.

“Not quite,” Adora said, scratching the back of her neck.

Catra read from the screen. “‘Choking 101: Safety and Anatomy.’”

Adora couldn’t look at Catra right now. This was not how she’d wanted this conversation to go. “Well, you mentioned it last week, so I figured just in case it was something you were interested in, I should look some things up.” She paused. “Do you know why it’s called the carroted artery?”

“It’s carotid, babe,” Catra corrected. “Stress on the second syllable.”

“I knew the carrot thing didn’t make any sense,” Adora said to herself, vindicated.

Catra felt like she should have addressed whatever that was about, but there was a much more pressing issue to discuss now that she’d seen what Adora had been researching. She circled around their couch to sit down, eyes on Adora the whole time. “Should we talk about this now, or...?”

Adora stole her phone back, sat on the middle cushion, and pulled her knees up to her chest. That meant she was nervous, so Catra figured she’d try to go easy with any potential teasing for right now. Usually Adora would throw it right back, but certain topics required more gravity than others. Treating serious talks with an appropriate amount of respect was something Catra was still working on (at least she was aware of it, and she really was trying).

“When did I bring up this up, exactly?” Catra asked, trying to recall.

“We were watching something and a tall lady walked on screen in thigh-high boots.”

“Mhmm,” Catra said, remembering. She’d totally forgotten the plot of whatever movie they’d put on, but certain images had definitely stuck with her.

“And you said you wouldn’t mind if she...” Adora trailed off, gesturing vaguely towards her neck to punctuate her thought.

“That was mostly a joke,” Catra said.

“Mostly?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think it can be fun, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“I don’t feel that,” Adora said quickly. “Honestly. I’ve just never done it before.”

It was cute how Adora still turned bright red whenever they talked about this kind of stuff.

Adora shifted, dropping her legs over the side of the couch. “If it’s something you know you like, then we can try it.”

Catra watched her carefully. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Adora said. Even with all of the tension scrunching up her shoulders, she sounded secure in her answer. They were both long past covering up what they really felt to keep up with what they thought the other wanted.

“Can you show me?” Adora asked.

Catra hesitated. “Right now?”

Committed, Adora shifted a little closer. “Well, we are on the subject.”

Catra scoffed in pleasant surprise.

Adora went on, climbing into Catra’s lap. “Plus, we probably shouldn’t stay up too late tonight.”

“Why’s that?”

“We don’t want to be late to the wedding.”

“Oh, of course not,” Catra purred.

“So?” Adora laced her fingers together behind Catra’s neck, waiting for further instructions.

“You’re sure you’re cool with this?” Catra said quietly.

“Yeah,” Adora replied - then she had a thought. “Wait, how do safe words work here?”

“Well, theoretically you’re not crushing my larynx,” Catra said. “I should still be able to talk.”

“What if I do it wrong and you can’t?” Adora said, keeping her voice level. She was not going to freak out about this unless she had a real reason to, and Catra was being so patient.

“I think you’ll be fine,” Catra smiled.

“Really?”

“You’re a fast learner. If my face starts turning purple, that’s a pretty good cue to stop.”

“Catra,” Adora chastised.

“If something goes wrong, I’ll just smack you on the ass.”

_“Catra.”_

“What? It would get your attention.” Catra smirked. Alright, maybe she could try a little harder with the whole ‘serious conversation’ thing. “Sorry. I won’t actually do that.”

“How about you tap my arm? Two times on the elbow means stop.”

Catra hummed. “I like it when you get all bossy.”

“I know you do,” Adora said, matter-of-fact. She was on a mission here, and she wasn’t going to let Catra distract her with bad jokes or her many other charms. “Now show me how this works.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Catra retorted, grabbing one of Adora’s hands and bringing it around to the front of her neck. “Okay, first thing. Remember the artery you thought was a carrot?”

“I know it’s not carrot, okay?” Adora said, irritated. “I just hadn’t seen ‘carotid’ spelled out before.”

“Whatever. So the point is to put pressure on that.”

“How do I know if it’s too much?”

“I’ll tell you,” Catra answered. She demonstrated where to press with her own hand. “Press on the sides, not the front.”

“Right. No windpipe crushing.”

“Exactly.”

Adora lined her fingers up over Catra’s, careful to note where they landed on Catra’s neck.

Her hyper-focused expression was one of Catra’s favorite things (along with almost every other thing about Adora). Catra had only ever tried this with one other person, and it had been a long time ago. Whether or not she still enjoyed it enough to make it a regular thing was secondary - it wasn’t about sensation anymore so much as giving up the need for constant control.

Watching Catra’s face attentively, Adora applied the tiniest amount of pressure over her fingers. “Like that?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s a good start,” Catra said, encouraging. “I’m gonna move my hand, okay?”

“Okay.”

Once Catra’s hand was out of the way, Adora could barely bring her fingertips to graze the skin of Catra’s neck.

“I can take a little more than that,” Catra joked.

Adora let her feather-light grip fall away. “I’m scared I’m gonna hurt you.”

“Hey.” Catra grabbed Adora’s hand and guided it to her lips, leaving a soft peck on her knuckles. “We don’t have to jump right into this. And like I said, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

She looked between Adora’s eyes, seeing just as much apprehension as before. It made Catra’s heart clench, and she had no choice but to kiss the girl nervously perched on her lap. She put her hands on Adora’s hips, holding her steady.

“I trust you, Adora. Either way.”

That did it - that small, gentle smile broke out on Adora’s face, and she nodded. “As long as you tell me what to do.”

“Wow. Can I get a recording of that?”

Adora tapped her chin. “You know what? I changed my mind. No sex ever again.”

“You’re just punishing yourself with that one.”

“Maybe. You’d be miserable, too.”

“Sounds like a lose-lose,” Catra concluded.

Adora leaned down and pressed her lips to Catra’s neck in a way that made it very, very clear that this supposed ban was not going to last long.

“So? Any verdict?” Catra asked. 

With a deep breath, Adora said, “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Catra kissed her again. “But are you gonna choke me out or what?”

Adora had to bite her lip to keep from bursting into laughter.

Five minutes later, Catra’s back was on their mattress. After making out on the couch for a short while, Adora had decided to move them to the bedroom, and she’d done so by picking Catra up off the couch and carrying her there. Adora’s choice to go with a bridal-style carry had probably been subconsciously inspired by the wedding they were attending the next day, but Catra wondered if she could somehow make this a regular thing. Like, could she get Adora to carry her around the grocery store like this? Probably not. But it was nice. If she angled her head just right, she could hear Adora’s heartbeat, strong and consistent even through the nervous anticipation.

Getting Adora out of her jeans was a bit of a pain, but Catra managed. They looked incredible on her, but was it really worth all of this effort? (Yes.)

“Do you want me to put on the thing?” Adora asked before getting onto the bed.

“Fuck yes,” Catra said before thinking. Taking a moment to consider, she changed her mind. “Actually, if we’re trying this, I don’t want to give you more to think about.”

Adora let out a tense exhale. “Okay.”

“Plus, it’ll take you ten minutes just to put it on,” Catra teased, hoping to cut through Adora’s anxiety.

“You’re the one who wanted all the leather and buckles,” Adora argued, crawling on top of Catra.

“Uh, yeah. Because it’s hot.” Catra pulled her down to kiss her.

“It does look good on you,” Adora muttered against Catra’s mouth.

“I’ll put it on later if you want.”

“That’s very motivating.” With that, Adora kissed her deep _(like someone who would give a shit about the ocean)._

Fuck, Catra loved her.

Adora’s hands were so good at so many things, and Catra had no doubt that they would master this new skill with just as much ease. So long as Adora was up for it. Catra was all in, but she wasn’t going to let that draw her focus away from making sure that Adora was just as comfortable.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Catra offered. “Anytime. Seriously.”

Adora dropped her forehead against Catra’s. “Let’s just go slow, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

For Adora, going slow apparently meant immediately driving her knee up between Catra’s legs. It drew out a sound that Catra was not particularly proud of, and she dug her nails into Adora’s back. It encouraged Adora to start moving her leg just slightly, building a gentle pressure as Catra’s hips bucked of their own will.

“You okay?” Adora asked.

“Fuck,” Catra replied, already breathless. “Yeah, fine.”

Catra could already feel the heat building in her abdomen, and she knew that whatever followed might very well break her. Whether or not Adora went through with putting her hand around Catra’s neck, just talking about it had been enough to get her worked up to a point that she wasn’t going to come down from without a payoff. Adora had spent time _researching_ like the giant nerd she was, all because of some throwaway comment Catra made about something she might be obliquely interested in. And then she took the time to talk it through, carefully and responsibly. It was overwhelming.

Adora was absolutely certain that she would never get tired of having Catra underneath her. Or on top of her. Or behind her, though most of the time she preferred being able to see Catra’s face. She had to admit that she wouldn’t have spent an hour reading and looking at diagrams online if she wasn’t at least a little intrigued by this whole idea, even if it was a little intimidating. Following through now was more a matter of collecting enough confidence, and nothing fueled her ego quite like making Catra come undone.

As Catra squeezed her eyes shut and held on tightly, Adora watched with unabashed tenderness. Over the past year, she’d seen Catra go from closed off and cautious to this, and she didn’t have words to explain what that kind of trust meant to her. The closest she could get was reminding Catra that she loved her - wholly and unconditionally - as often as possible and in every way she could imagine.

“What do you want?” Adora asked.

Once such a loaded question for them, it had become easier to ask and answer each time, in this context and others. It had come up a couple of months ago when Scorpia announced that Perfuma was finally moving in, and Catra asked Adora if she’d be interested in finding a new place together. The only part of it that took any thought was the logistics, and Adora hadn’t spent even second spiraling over all of the terrible impacts it might have on their relationship. Once she’d gotten Catra to stop leaving her hair in the shower, everything else had fallen into place pretty smoothly.

Even though they’d been falling asleep next to each other for two months now, Adora had yet to take it for granted even once.

Catra was biting her lip, her eyes still closed in an expression of pure bliss as Adora kept up the easy grind with her knee. When Adora stopped, Catra finally looked at her.

At this point, Adora’s smile had been the cause of Catra’s death about a thousand times over.

“Catra? Did you hear my question?” Adora asked, teasing. 

“Shut up, I heard you,” Catra groaned. She flung her arms up over her head, letting them fall on the pillows. The movement made her bare chest arch up, and Adora forgot that she’d had any sort of upper hand. “Can you go down on me for a minute?”

Adora nodded and swallowed hard. She might not have been receiving the same kind of attention right now, but giving was as good as getting for her. Especially when Catra was in such a vocal mood.

Before kissing her way down Catra’s front, Adora lingered at her neck and latched onto Catra’s pulse point. For a second, she felt a little silly, like she was reviewing for a test, but she wanted to make sure that she remembered the right place.

Catra didn’t usually get anywhere transcendent from having someone go down on her, but it still felt amazing. Adora was so gentle, as always, her tongue taking slow strokes. She knew exactly how Catra wanted it, but she always asked anyway to make sure it was right.

“Like that?” Adora asked, right on schedule.

Catra hummed her response, threading her fingers into Adora’s loose-hanging hair encouragingly.

“Hair tie?” Catra offered. There was always at least one on the nightstand.

“Mm, I’m good,” Adora said, already lost in what she was doing. She was pretty sure she enjoyed this just as much as Catra did.

Catra did her best to keep the long hair contained, but after a while her grip grew slack under Adora’s tongue.

“Come back up?” Catra requested, not bothering to keep the whine out of her voice. Adora knew what she did to her. No reason to hide it.

Soon, Adora’s lips were back on Catra’s. This - Catra was pretty sure she could do this forever. She’d figure out a way around the whole needing to breathe thing.

Adora had gotten a lot better at staying present during sex. Before, she’d tended to go on autopilot, delivering mechanically to reach an end goal. With Catra, though, she’d realized that it wasn’t always about getting off (Catra’s eloquently blunt words). It was more about connection for them, and figuring out new ways to do that was both exciting and a little terrifying.

One of Adora’s hands rested firmly on Catra’s chest, unmoving. She didn’t want to initiate anything until Catra expressly asked for it.

“Checking in,” Catra said between kisses. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good,” Adora said. “You?”

Catra laughed deep in her chest and grinned. 

If Catra wanted this, then Adora did, too. “I think I’m up for trying the new thing. If you are.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Sit up,” Catra said.

Adora sat back on the bed, Catra’s legs spread wide around her, knees bent.

“Now you can see what you’re doing,” Catra said.

“Pretty good view,” Adora commented with a smug smile.

“If you’re trying to get in my pants, it’s working.”

Adora laughed. Catra had taken to saying that in the most ridiculous situations. A few weeks before, they’d been shopping for groceries, and Adora had picked up a giant block of fancy cheddar. After some discussion over whether $20 was too much to spend on cheese, she’d simply dropped it into the cart, and Catra had announced her new catch phrase loudly enough to scandalize the other person in the dairy aisle.

(Catra hadn’t said anything about it yet, but she’d decided something very important that day in the grocery store.)

“Okay,” Adora said, shifting to get more comfortable. “Safe word?”

“Charades,” Catra said. They’d made a habit of repeating it whenever they did something that involved a certain level of risk. After a while, Adora had even stopped scowling at Catra’s choice of word.

“Tap twice on my elbow if you need,” Adora reminded.

“Got it.”

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Catra replied, gazing up at Adora like she’d figured out how to safely stare into the sun.

Adora let her hand creep up to the base of Catra’s neck, her fingers circling around delicately. She was barely touching the skin, sliding up until she was just below the pulse point. Watching Catra’s face for any sign of discomfort, she started to squeeze just slightly, careful to keep pressure off the front of the neck.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, you’re fine,” Catra said.

Adora sighed, relieved that Catra could still talk. So far, so good.

“More pressure is fine,” Catra invited.

“Is that you asking me to--”

“Yes, it is,” Catra cut in. “Keep going. I’ll tell you when.”

After a few seconds of testing, they found it.

Catra’s cheeks were no more flushed with color than usual, and Adora felt confident going forward with the next step. “Can I touch you?” she asked, unoccupied hand hovering at the inside of Catra’s thigh.

“Please,” Catra consented. She grasped at the sheets to brace herself.

Adora let her fingers dip past the wiry curls between Catra’s legs.

“Wow. This really does it for you, huh?” Adora teased.

Catra could only moan in response.

“I’m glad you can still make noise,” Adora added, keeping up her pace.

It really wasn’t fair how quickly Adora had picked this up. Catra hadn’t even had time to be conceited about any of it before she’d been reduced to a whimpering mess.

Adora kept talking as if she knew that the sound of her voice would only make it harder for Catra to keep it together. “And now we don’t have to worry about roommates...though there are a lot of other reasons I like living with you.”

Catra really wasn’t going to be able to handle Adora getting all sappy right now. The perfect pressure around her neck was driving her wild, making every touch below all the more shattering.

“I like waking up with you,” Adora continued. She wasn’t sure where this was coming from, but she wanted to say it, so she did. It was helping her push past the nerves. “I like how you’re extra snuggly in the morning.”

Catra tried to defend her honor, but all that came out was another writhing, broken groan.

“And I like when you sometimes get up first and make breakfast before I’m awake. Even if you go back to sleep afterwards because you don’t have to be up until later.”

Adora’s words and hands had Catra anchored, held fast to a degree she hadn’t experienced before. Feeling safe was one thing, but here was a depth and breadth of trust that Catra had never fathomed she could express for another person. It wasn’t just about the sex - it never had been - and all of this domestic talk made her feel like she did on those mornings when she blinked awake with Adora’s arms around her. She was safe and loved and being touched with more care than she’d ever thought possible. And she was so, so happy.

As Catra continued making sounds that she would have been embarrassed about a long time ago, Adora had the audacity to ask that one relentless question.

“Baby, you okay?”

Catra had already given up control. With those three words, Adora embraced it fully, sparking Catra’s blood to light. The white-hot blaze consumed her, but her scream was one unscathed by harm. The pressure around her neck disappeared, and Adora’s familiar heat settled over her.

Ever cautious, Adora kept her weight off of Catra, giving her space to recover while still making her presence known.

“Catra?” she whispered after a moment, a hint of apprehension coloring her voice.

All Catra wanted to do was curl up again Adora’s chest, so she did. She left a kiss over Adora’s heart, hoping it was enough of a sign even if she wasn’t sure she could speak again just yet.

Adora felt a wave of fear spread through her, unsure if she’d done something wrong until she felt Catra’s lips press against her chest. She wrapped her arms around Catra’s body, warming her.

“You’re shaking,” Adora said, alarm creeping in.

Catra wished she’d anticipated this, but she couldn’t have known how deeply the whole experience would affect her. She needed Adora to know she was okay, but she could barely move.

“I’m alright,” Catra mumbled against Adora’s skin.

“What?” Adora said, putting just enough space between them so that Catra could speak.

“I’m alright,” Catra repeated. “Just hold me.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t let go.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

***

Catra didn’t mean to fall asleep, but she must have dozed off for a few minutes.

Actually, judging by the completely dark window, it had been longer than that. The lights were still on, which meant that Adora really hadn’t moved this whole time. When she felt Catra stirring, her arms flexed tight around her before letting her pull back.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said, blinking slowly. She cleared her throat, hoping to banish the screaming rasp from her voice.

“Hey,” Adora replied. She looked no less than mildly terrified. “What happened?”

“Sorry. I fell asleep. Which probably freaked you out.”

“A little,” Adora laughed tensely.

“I didn’t think that would be...so much.”

Fear flashed across Adora’s eyes, and Catra knew exactly what she was thinking about.

“Not too much,” Catra reassured. She found Adora’s hand and held it between both of her own. “Just a lot. Overwhelming. We probably should have talked about aftercare, too.” The thought hadn’t even crossed Catra’s mind - her previous partners hadn’t been all that invested in such things. It was something she and Adora could work on for next time (because she sincerely hoped there would be a next time for this).

“I didn’t actually get to that section of the article,” Adora confessed. “I was really hoping to nail down the anatomy first.”

“You nailed something, alright.” Catra rolled onto her back and stretched before returning to face Adora, whose cheeks were now very pink as they fought off a smile. “I would definitely hate how good you are at everything if it didn’t totally work in my favor.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Not a chance.”

Adora snorted. She scanned Catra’s face carefully. “Seriously, though. How was it?”

“Honestly?”

Adora nodded apprehensively.

“Not what I was expecting.”

“What do you mean?” Adora waited.

Catra pressed closer to her. “You know how fucked up I am about trusting people.”

Adora interrupted sternly. “Catra.”

They were working on calling each other out on using self-effacing language, which had turned out to be a horribly difficult habit to break. Catra corrected herself. “You know how hard it is for me to trust people. So, being able to let you do that...I don’t know, it means a lot. Does that sound weird?”

“No,” Adora said, brushing a stray bit of hair off of Catra’s cheek and looking at her like the moon wasn’t the brightest thing in the night sky. “It’s not weird at all.”

Catra took a deep breath. “Yeah. Anyway, I guess it was special or whatever,” she trailed off into a grumble. It was by far the most embarrassing thing she’d ever said.

Adora had developed a habit of kissing Catra’s forehead at the most heart-wrenching moments, and this was no exception. Catra burrowed under her chin, which only led to Adora leaving another kiss on top of her head. Soon, it was a game, and Adora was giggling and planting kisses wherever she could while Catra tried to hide deeper in her embrace.

Catra eventually wriggled one of her arms out and reached across Adora to shut off the lamp on the nightstand. “You could have turned the light out, you goof.”

Adora laughed as she wrapped Catra in her arms.

***

“Catra? Where’d you put my shoes?”

Adora’s dress was half-zipped, and they were definitely cutting it close on time. Being half an hour late to game night because they got distracted in the back seat of the car was one thing, but being late to a wedding because they’d slept in? They’d never live that down.

“In here, babe,” Catra called from the living room.

Adora ran out of the bedroom. She’d have to fix her hair in the car--

Especially now that she was spending one of their last few precious minutes staring at Catra.

She was sitting on the couch lacing up the nicest pair of slightly heeled boots she owned, and the halter top of her maroon jumpsuit left the back completely open. Adora had seen the outfit before, but that didn’t make it any less striking now.

“Shoes are by the table,” Catra said.

As she stood, she slipped a blazer on, but the plunging neckline was still on full display.

“Better get all that staring over with now,” Catra taunted.

“Uh-huh,” Adora said smartly.

Catra figured she should hurry things along and brought Adora’s shoes over to the bedroom door - they really were going to be late if they waited for her to finish rebooting.

Once Adora had regained the function of speech, she asked, “Zip me up?”

Catra obliged, admiring the way Adora’s soft peach dress left her shoulders exposed. “Can’t believe you beat me to being a Maid of Honor.”

“Aren’t you technically going to be ‘Best Woman?’”

“Yes, and I’m pretty sure Scorpia’s going to print it like that on their invitations. Shoes,” Catra instructed. They were so close to getting out the door on time.

“I’m just glad Bow and Glimmer finally figured it out.” Adora bent down to pull on her gladiator-style shoes. (She’d chosen them over heels specifically because she didn’t want to have to bend down to kiss Catra all night. Thinking ahead.)

“Makes sense that they came up with the exact same plan to propose to each other on their first official date. Nerds,” Catra said. 

“Angella’s obviously thrilled. Wait until you see the venue she and Micah sprang for.”

“This better not be one of those boring rich people weddings with terrible, bland food.”

“You really think Bow and Glimmer would let that happen?” Adora stood up, finally ready to go. She straightened out the lapels of Catra’s blazer - for no reason other than it was a good excuse to touch her.

“Good point,” Catra said, quite taken with Adora’s sudden obsession with her jacket. “Ready?”

“Yep.”

“You’ve got the rings?”

Adora froze.

“Seriously, Adora?”

“They’re small, okay?”

“That’s why you’re supposed to keep them in the boxes. Come on, hurry up.” Catra started searching, overturning every couch cushion.

Adora stormed into their room, tearing through the drawers and checking around each piece of furniture.

Not under the bed.

Not in the bathroom.

Not folded in with her underwear. She’d been so confident about that possibility.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra said from outside. “You wanna come out here for a second?”

Adora raced in to see the refrigerator door open and Catra digging around inside the fruit drawer.

“Oh!” Adora exclaimed. “Right. Glimmer asked me to bring her an apple to keep her blood sugar up before the ceremony. I put the rings in there so I wouldn’t forget the apple. Guess that didn’t really work.”

“I love you, but you are so weird.”

“You love me _because_ I’m so weird.”

With a sigh, Catra extracted the two velvet boxes, one blue and one green. Seeing Catra in formalwear presenting a ring box made Adora’s stomach flip, and the image very stubbornly cemented itself in Adora’s mind.

“Can we get going?” Catra asked.

There definitely wasn’t time to think about any of the reactions Adora was having to this whole moment. Before she gave her thoughts away, she grabbed an apple from the fridge, plucked the ring boxes from Catra’s hand, and started for the door.

***

The ceremony barely took half an hour, but the reception was slated to last for eight hours minimum inside of a giant, elaborately decorated tent. There were two entire meals planned, plus unlimited snacks and desserts. According to Glimmer, guests didn’t want to spend hours waiting for two people to kiss when they could all be dancing and eating instead. She and Bow very much considered themselves part of said impatient grouping, and they were the first to raid the cake table.

Glimmer had changed into a more casual evening dress, but for the ceremony she’d worn a custom outfit inspired by the hanbok designs that her father’s parents had worn to their wedding. It was pretty much the only traditional part of the event, but she’d spent a significant amount of time consulting with the tailor about it.

Bow was still in his baby blue suit, but he’d abandoned his jacket and torn off his cummerbund to reveal that his button-up shirt was indeed cropped. He probably wouldn’t have worn the cummerbund in the first place if the air conditioning inside the venue hadn’t been on full blast.

Instead of going with an official seating chart, they had opted for a musical chairs situation during lunch that would bring all of the guests to the bride and groom’s table up front for a while. Adora, Perfuma, and two of Bow’s brothers were permanent fixtures of the wedding party circle, leaving Catra and Scorpia to float around and socialize. Scorpia was much more enthused by the idea than Catra, who was still not sure she could handle more than two minutes alone with Seahawk. They did learn that Mermista had originally refused to be a bridesmaid because she had no desire to match dresses with Adora and Perfuma, but she changed her mind once Glimmer clarified that she wasn’t going to be choosing anyone’s wardrobe.

She and Seahawk were both technically supposed to be with the wedding party, but they quickly dismissed themselves once the music started. They did try to challenge Adora to a rematch dance-off, but Glimmer heroically stepped in and insisted that Adora stay at her Maid of Honor post. Seahawk and Mermista were almost definitely going to try again later. 

Catra passed most of the time chatting with Scorpia and hearing all about how happy she and Perfuma were. If she hadn’t been just as thrilled about living with Adora, she might have been a little jealous.

According to Scorpia, she and Perfuma were in no rush to follow in Bow and Glimmer’s footsteps.

“It’s so much fun to tell people you’re engaged,” Scorpia explained. “They just kind of assume it’s a recent thing. We get free ice cream at restaurants all the time, even when we correct the waiter! People just love _love,_ I tell ya.”

Catra shook her head and pretended to be less amused than she was by the idea of Scorpia and Perfuma inadvertently pulling dessert heists every time they went to dinner. She missed seeing Scorpia every day, even if she wouldn’t ever dare admit that out loud. They still hung out at game nights, and Scorpia had crashed Catra’s shifts at the music store more than a few times, but it was different than living together.

Spinnerella and Netossa were happy that the wedding had been a morning affair, though they were displeased to learn that the reception was still going to go on until late at night. The most likely scenario was that they’d bag some cake and head out early. After an hour of small talk with other random people she’d never met, including Glimmer very loud, very off-putting aunt, Catra was considering doing the same.

Finally, it was her and Scorpia’s turn to hang out at the wedding party table.

Instead of sitting in the chair Scorpia pulled out for her, Catra opted to sit on Adora’s lap.

“Hi,” Adora said, arms twining around Catra’s waist.

“Hi,” Catra returned.

Adora raised an eyebrow and put on a ridiculous, faux-smooth voice. “You come here often?”

Catra and Glimmer both rolled their eyes.

“Congrats, Sparkles,” Catra said, stealing a buttery green bean off of Glimmer’s plate. “This is actually a pretty decent party.”

“As always, Catra, your approval means the world,” Glimmer bit back. They got along, really, but at this point the trash talking was too deeply ingrained.

From Adora’s other side, Perfuma piped up. “Glimmer, you’ll have to tell us who did your decorations. They’re so beautiful!”

“That was all my mom,” Glimmer said. “I’m sure she has a thousand binders you can look at.”

Scorpia jotted down a reminder. “‘Ask Angella 4 info.’ Got it. Can’t wait to find out where she got that geode cake.”

Bow chimed in from Glimmer’s left. “Actually, my dads helped with that.”

“Wow!”

“I know, right?”

“They are so talented.”

“I know, right?!”

“Do you think they’d do ours, too?”

“Totally.”

Hm. Maybe Catra kind of liked being at this table full of weirdos.

When she reflected on what had gotten her here in the first place, she simply had to share.

“You know,” she started, poking Glimmer’s cheek. Glimmer slapped her hand out of the way. “I really should thank you.”

“For what?” Glimmer asked, rightfully suspicious of wherever this was going.

“I might not be here eating all your food if you hadn’t tried to fight me over that punching bag.”

“Uh, _you_ tried to fight _me.”_

“Sure, whatever makes you feel better.”

Glimmer growled.

“Thanks, Glitter,” Catra added.

“Seriously?!” Glimmer exclaimed.

Adora got Catra’s attention and kissed her, which was probably the most effective intervention of all time. Another minute and cake might have started flying.

“Do you want to dance?” Adora asked.

“Are you just asking so I’ll stop harassing Glimmer?”

Glimmer practically shoved them out of their chair. “Please take her far, far away, Adora.”

“Bye, Confetti!” Catra called over her shoulder as Adora led her away from the table.

Wooden panels had been put down to create a wide-open dance floor in the middle of the tent, separating the buffets and dessert stations from the seating area. The whole setup was seriously elaborate, but Catra had to admit that it wasn’t entirely awful. At least Angella had taste. And the food was good.

A live band was getting ready to start playing at the top of the next hour, but in the meantime a DJ had set up a low-key playlist. It was funny to hear mostly slow, swaying songs echoing quietly through the giant speakers.

Adora placed Catra’s hand on her shoulder, letting her own fall to Catra’s waist. They stood close, just a slight space between them.

“How was socializing?” Adora asked knowingly.

Catra grunted. “Ugh. Thank god Scorpia was there. She says enough words for two people.”

“You’re having fun, though, right?”

“I am now.”

“Catra.”

“Fine, yes. I’m having fun.”

“Good.”

“Believe it or not, making fun of Glimmer hasn’t been the best part of my day.”

“What was the best part?”

“This. Obviously.”

Adora smiled. “Who knew you were such a romantic, huh?”

“Don’t say that so loud. I have a reputation.”

“Yeah, as a romantic.”

“Shh.”

“People still talk about how cute Scorpia’s proposal was.”

“Do they?”

“Mhm.” Adora kissed her once, and Catra decided that maybe she didn’t mind this supposed reputation.

“What about you? Did you have fun being trapped at that table for two hours?” Catra asked.

“Bow’s brothers have some pretty fun stories. Mostly about George and Lance. The first time they met Glimmer, they took her and Bow out to dinner and called ahead to tell the restaurant it was Glimmer’s birthday. Apparently she also believed it until Bow reminded her that it wasn’t. They were six.”

“That’s some top-notch dad humor.”

“Bow made all of them keep their little birthday hats on for the whole meal because he was scared they would get in trouble if the waiter found out.”

“He’d still do that.”

“Probably,” Adora laughed.

She swept their linked fingers overhead, spinning Catra around before drawing her back in.

When Adora looked around the tent from dance floor, she realized just how large the space was. It was filled with enough guests that the size of it made sense, but it was still an overwhelming endeavor. How did they even put this thing up?

“This is definitely...a lot,” Adora commented.

“Too much?” Catra smirked. Outside of serious contexts, the phrase had become something of an inside joke between them, a reminder that bad times could pass and they could overcome the worst parts of themselves with a little nudge in the right direction.

“A little,” Adora said, casting a look at the massive, five-tiered cake. “I don’t think I’d ever want something this fancy.”

“Hm. I kinda like the idea of a huge, over-the-top party that’s all about me.”

“Just you?” Adora teased.

“Obviously not _just_ me.”

“So, in the very broad, theoretical sense, you do want to get married?”

“Sometimes I think it might just be the big party talking, but...yeah. I think I would,” Catra said. Adora raised her eyebrows. “What?”

Adora shrugged. “I’m just surprised. You usually hate traditional stuff.”

“Who says it has to be traditional? I saw pictures of this one place where all the guests can sit in this, like, arena setup and the people getting married walk down different side of the aisle and meet in the middle like a pit fight.”

“You wanna have a gladiator battle-style wedding? Actually, that doesn’t surprise me.” Adora wrinkled her nose at her next thought. “I don’t know if I could pit fight in wedding clothes, even in ‘gladiator’ shoes.”

Catra lifted her hand from Adora’s shoulder just long enough to land a light punch on it. “What? Scared you’d get your ass kicked?”

Adora scoffed. “You wish.”

“You’d so lose.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Very convincing,” Catra patronized. She traced a nail down Adora’s jawline and brushed their lips together ever so slightly. “Guess we’ll find out.”

Slowly, Adora’s eyes widened. “We will?”

Catra almost panicked and backtracked - but no. She was done playing off her feelings as lapses in thought, even if that was still her first impulse sometimes. If this conversation was coming up naturally, why shouldn’t she tell Adora what she’d been thinking about for the past few weeks since that inexplicable day at the grocery store?

It would be okay if Adora wasn’t there yet. Why rush? They had time.

There was one important point of contention, though. “Only if you change your mind about no big parties,” Catra said.

“Hey, I didn’t say it couldn’t be big. Just not this...” Adora trailed off, her eyes landing on the gold and white silk streamers strung across the ceiling.

“Bougie?” Catra offered.

“Yes, that,” Adora laughed. “But I’d still want all my friends there.”

“Our friends,” Catra corrected.

Adora couldn’t stop herself from grinning. It had taken so long to convince Catra of that, and hearing it in this context made her heart race. It was overwhelming enough being here in a room full of her favorite people, all celebrating together. She nearly burst at the thought of how it might feel to have her love - with Catra - as the unabashed center of attention for a night.

“Yes. Our friends,” Adora agreed.

“Hey, you should make Bow and Glimmer fight for the Best Friend of Honor spot. Actually, better idea. Make them both do it while wearing one giant suit.”

Adora snorted. “Glimmer would hate that. She’s like a foot shorter than Bow.”

“Imagine the pictures you’d get out of it,” Catra said, joining Adora in a fit of giggles.

Adora held Catra closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and eventually resting her cheek against Catra’s temple as the last few laughs subsided.

They swayed absently to the slow, sweeping music surrounding them.

“You really want to marry me?” Adora whispered.

She felt Catra’s fingers flex and then relax over her bare shoulder.

“Someday, yeah,” Catra whispered back. “Is that cool with you?”

Adora pulled back just enough to look into Catra’s beautiful, strange eyes. She wondered when those mismatched irises had become her two favorite colors.

With a kiss, Adora answered. “I think that sounds pretty great.”

Catra drew her in again, kissing her long and deep. Her arms circled around Adora’s neck, their bodies flush against each other. Catra’s teeth scraped over Adora’s bottom lip and released it just as quickly - a gentle, playful seal. A promise.

“To be clear,” Catra said, “this is not me officially asking.”

“Oh, I know,” Adora replied. “After what you planned for Scorpia and Perfuma, I expect something much more elaborate.”

“I’ll order you a pizza and write ‘marry me’ on the inside of the box in Sharpie.”

“Honestly, if I could still read it through the cheese grease, I probably wouldn’t say no.”

“Really?”

“Like, 90% chance.”

“Hm, only 90?” Catra contemplated. “Guess I’ll have to think of something better, then.”

“Better than pizza? Good luck,” Adora joked. As Catra shook her head fondly, Adora was once again inundated with all of the emotions their surroundings inspired. Fairy light strands hanging down from the ceiling, gentle music, and warmth all around, not to mention how good Catra looked in that jumpsuit. “This would be a pretty romantic place to ask,” Adora said.

“Are you saying you want me to hijack this wedding reception? Because I think Glimmer might actually kill me.”

“No,” Adora said. “Definitely not. But I am glad we talked about this. Here.”

“Same.” Catra nuzzled into Adora’s neck. “It’s nice dancing with you.”

“Even when we’re barely moving?”

“Oh, yeah.” Catra nodded, her nose tickling behind Adora’s chin. “Especially then. Way less effort.”

A stroke of inspiration took hold, and Adora slowly tightened her arms around Catra’s waist. Without any warning, Catra’s feet left the ground - she shrieked - as Adora spun them around in a circle.

“Adora!” Catra cried out, shocks of laughter breaking through.

Throughly amused, Adora finished one last turn and set Catra down flat on her feet.

“You’re ridiculous,” Catra chastised.

“You love it,” Adora taunted, pointing a finger at Catra’s nose. “And you wanna marry meeeee--”

Catra clapped a hand over Adora’s mouth. “Are you trying to get me on Glimmer’s hit list?”

“Sorry.” Adora giggled, the biggest grin plastered on her face. “Wow.”

“Shut up. Don’t ruin it.” Catra could feel her cheeks flushing a brighter shade each time Adora reminded her.

The music changed as the band started, and other guests flocked to the dance floor. Glimmer and Bow had their first dance, and then they each brought their parents out. Lance spent the entire song crying, and Micah was barely holding back tears.

The entire wedding party was called up next, and when Adora extended her hand, Catra took it.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [catra's wedding outfit](https://www.lulus.com/products/can-t-hardly-wait-burgundy-halter-jumpsuit/396492.html)
> 
> [adora's wedding outfit](https://www.lulus.com/products/air-of-romance-peach-maxi-dress/306922.html)
> 
> i love u all so very very much and i cannot wait to see u again <3

**Author's Note:**

> as always i am @gideonthesixtyninth on tumblr and i love u. deleted my old blog and made a new main for reasons i cannot explain, follow if u wish for updates on what i'm writing
> 
> and here's a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5DAqaTx66B26aLhO0YJlfT?si=3mReJScPQXmwlVlVHPXuEw) for this fic if that's ur vibe - one song per chapter (chapter 9 gets two, tracks 9 & 10) + 1 song for the epilogue and the song catra plays, obviously


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